[Ray_808]

I'm sure many of you struggle with that like I do. Reading books and articles don't seem to help me much. What is your experience with goals and motivation?

It's not difficult for me to get motivated and convince myself that my goals are worthwhile and doable. Working towards goals is hard but the hardest thing is continuing to work toward them over time. Sooner or later I give up. I don't know how to consistently stay the course even though I know what to do, why to do it, and how to do it.

Originally Posted by Ray_808

I'm sure many of you struggle with that like I do. Reading books and articles don't seem to help me much. What is your experience with goals and motivation?

It's not difficult for me to get motivated and convince myself that my goals are worthwhile and doable. Working towards goals is hard but the hardest thing is continuing to work toward them over time. Sooner or later I give up. I don't know how to consistently stay the course even though I know what to do, why to do it, and how to do it.

Many of us need encouragement from peers, family, supervisors, etc. Books are good when they help you solidify your philosophy or provide good roll models. For instance, in elementary school, I remember competing with my peers--like when we would race through a test hoping to be the first one to take it to the teacher's desk--it was a game, we were showing off. We also did this outside of school--seeing who could hold their breath longer underwater, win tetherball matches, jump out of the swing at the highest point, etc. In high school, the friend I looked up to most was extremely conscientious--since I am not she helped encourage me to be more conscientious. Since I have a less conscientious side, I sometimes had friends whom I would get in trouble with as well. I can think of some bad things that have happened to me with one particular gf. In college, my dad's example, financial help and encouragement helped me get my degree. I was in AFROTC--the military is good at training leaders--there were so many good role models for me when I joined. When I married H, whenever we have shared similiar goals/values, we accomplish more together than apart. Two examples come to mind--saving money to buy our house and encouraging each other to exercise everyday. So surrounding yourself with positive role models/friends can help you stay the course. That's what helped me.

[Perna]

Something that has helped me is realizing that if I really want something, I will keep coming back to it over time. There's no race and it may take 4 years or 25 years to get a college degree (first and second degree times for me :-) but that if you want it, it will eventually happen. Relaxing and enjoying the trip is what life is?

Look at why/where you get stymied and work on clearing that. Think of the problem like a road trip and you come across a rock fall in the mountains or a tree branch across the road, etc. and work on getting what's in your way out of your way so you can continue on the path you have chosen?

We haven't gone "this way" before so there's going to be new situations and they're going to take practice to learn how to deal with. You can't just take the final exam at the end of the course and know the material, you have to, day-by-day work with the material from the first day to the last. That's all there is, is the material/problem in front of you, not the end result of passing this test or that or having already written this paper or that. You can't go from first grade to graduating high school all in the same week

It is okay to look forward to achieving a goal but that should not be the day-to-day focus but rather what needs to be done/worked with "next". Don't focus on the 365 days of boring bed making before you this year, just on today's tasks. Each day is a microcosm and if you are having trouble with the bed making because it is boring, that's not all the day holds. Make the bed for practice/consistency but that's only 5 minutes of the whole day so don't let it occupy more time in your head than that.

[Ray_808]

You both make some good points, thank you. Hopingtrying I think maybe I should involve more people in my efforts. I tend to keep my goals secretive and try to do it all myself which hasn't worked out for me very well. Perna what stood out the most to me was how you said it will eventually happen. Having patience to allow it to happen and persistence to stick with it are pivotal in any big undertaking. You've given me a lot to think about and ideas of what to apply to my efforts.