Help with hoarding

Buffy01 · Mar 17, 2018 at 11:45 AM

I am trouble getting rid of my things because it feels bad to get rid of things my parent bought me. I had my sister take a bag of clothes to donate them to the Goodwill before they close that down. I still feel guilty for getting rid of the clothes. I workout small area in my room. I declutted a small area each time. Once I have a box I keep it and I have trouble getting rid of the box. Especially when it has instruction on them. Any suggestion on how to stop feeling guilty for getting rid of my stuf?

hvert · Mar 18, 2018 at 10:55 AM

I'm not sure what happens when we hit a thousand posts on a thread, but this looks like a good place for the new one

I don't know how you can stop feeling guilty about getting rid of stuff. I find it hard too. I read something years ago that said that it is not our job to find the perfect new home for something we no longer need or want. It's enough to recognize that we no longer need it. The object served it's purpose and we do not have to worry about what happens to it in the future.

I also find myself holding onto donation bags/boxes for a long time, long enough so that when I go back to the bag/box, I want to keep half the stuff again. For me, throwing stuff directly into trash or recycling has helped a lot. My trash gets picked up weekly, so I try to go through the house looking for items to toss the night before.

Congrats on getting rid of the bag of clothes, that is a good start!

unaluna · Mar 18, 2018 at 11:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hvert

I'm not sure what happens when we hit a thousand posts on a thread, but this looks like a good place for the new one

PC doesnt want threads to go over 1000 posts, so i will ask a mod to "lock" the old thread and direct users to this one. I wanted to ask you because you were the thread originator.

Buffy01 · Mar 18, 2018 at 12:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unaluna

PC doesnt want threads to go over 1000 posts, so i will ask a mod to "lock" the old thread and direct users to this one. I wanted to ask you because you were the thread originator.

That okay. if you feel the need to. I just start this one as a way to ask for some help. I thought it either it might be inappropriate, or i might be rude if I posted on the other thread, or it might be confusing to other if I posted on the other the thread. That why I start this thread. It my first time admitting I am a hoarder but I am not as bad as one of my sister. This is something that I wanting to changed about me.

unaluna · Mar 18, 2018 at 03:26 PM

Buffy, thanks for starting the new thread! I was just letting everybody know what was going on, is all.

I think a lot of us are Stage 1 hoarders, where we can still get in the door, sleep in our beds, cook, use the bathroom, and stuff isnt piled quite to the ceiling, but we arent having much company, for example. At least i think thats stage 1. Maybe its 2.

I got apartment maintenance men coming in next month, so that will mean spring clean up for me.

Buffy01 · Mar 26, 2018 at 08:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unaluna

Buffy, thanks for starting the new thread! I was just letting everybody know what was going on, is all.

I think a lot of us are Stage 1 hoarders, where we can still get in the door, sleep in our beds, cook, use the bathroom, and stuff isnt piled quite to the ceiling, but we arent having much company, for example. At least i think thats stage 1. Maybe its 2.

I got apartment maintenance men coming in next month, so that will mean spring clean up for me.

Hoarding runs in my family. But one of my sister house is really bad up to the ceiling as bad as the TV show of hoarder I want to make sure that I don't get that bad. This summer I am supposed to clean out the storage building it going to be hard to get rid of my clothes. But I am going to try to get rid of clothes that are still good that are not special to me.

Buffy01 · Mar 18, 2018 at 12:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hvert

I'm not sure what happens when we hit a thousand posts on a thread, but this looks like a good place for the new one

I don't know how you can stop feeling guilty about getting rid of stuff. I find it hard too. I read something years ago that said that it is not our job to find the perfect new home for something we no longer need or want. It's enough to recognize that we no longer need it. The object served it's purpose and we do not have to worry about what happens to it in the future.

I also find myself holding onto donation bags/boxes for a long time, long enough so that when I go back to the bag/box, I want to keep half the stuff again. For me, throwing stuff directly into trash or recycling has helped a lot. My trash gets picked up weekly, so I try to go through the house looking for items to toss the night before.

Congrats on getting rid of the bag of clothes, that is a good start!

Thank you! I was very hard. I had to go to Barnes & noble bookstore so that I get rid of the clothes and that was having my sister take the bag out and my niece driving away all the while asking Barnes & noble bookstore for emotional support. My problem is I don't need them but because they were from my mom who wouldn't let me wear the clothes or play with the item. I feel attached to the item.

88Butterfly88 · Mar 26, 2018 at 07:27 PM

You said you donated the clothes, that's great. Maybe knowing your donation can help someone can make you feel less guilty.

Buffy01 · Mar 28, 2018 at 07:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 88Butterfly88

You said you donated the clothes, that's great. Maybe knowing your donation can help someone can make you feel less guilty.

It just so hard to get rid of things. It even harder now that they are get rid of places to donated clothes. It illegal to have yard sales. But i rather give away the clothes than to have them ruined. It just so hard.

Buffy01 · Mar 16, 2020 at 08:30 PM

I clean out one closet.

Buffy01 · Sep 25, 2018 at 08:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 88Butterfly88

You said you donated the clothes, that's great. Maybe knowing your donation can help someone can make you feel less guilty.

For a long time I had trouble donating clothes and now because of where I live they are making it harder to donate clothes. I try to think about it th a way if I can help out one homeless person who need clothes than I giving something out to the world that good.

htoun · May 20, 2018 at 10:58 PM

Buffy01 thanks. I go in and out of being able to get rid of things mostly cause I get to tired and frustrated to deal with anything. Sometimes though it’s cause I want to own all of it. Right now I’m mostly just tired it seems such an effort to do anything. No one around here seems to notice or care one way or the other. It’s not like they help

Buffy01 · May 28, 2018 at 09:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by htoun

Buffy01 thanks. I go in and out of being able to get rid of things mostly cause I get to tired and frustrated to deal with anything. Sometimes though it’s cause I want to own all of it. Right now I’m mostly just tired it seems such an effort to do anything. No one around here seems to notice or care one way or the other. It’s not like they help

I'm still stuggling. Sometime this summer I am supposed to clean out the rent out storage which is going to be very hard because I need to get rid everything there is just no room for everything. I feel bad when I get rid of stuff. I replace some old clothes with new clothes. But it hard because I have attachment to my things. That is because of my severe loneliness I have.

unaluna · May 28, 2018 at 10:49 PM

Im still chipping away. I dont want to die and leave a big mess for somebody to clean up! Otoh, i dont want to get rid of everything without ever having used it. I have an IDEA of maybe taking some things to goodwill this friday. I have the next 3 days clear with no appointments, and im feeling pretty good, so im gonna try to make a dent in the laundry and also now that my knee is better, get some walking clothes together (shorts, socks, tshirts).

Buffy01 · Jun 07, 2018 at 04:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unaluna

Im still chipping away. I dont want to die and leave a big mess for somebody to clean up! Otoh, i dont want to get rid of everything without ever having used it. I have an IDEA of maybe taking some things to goodwill this friday. I have the next 3 days clear with no appointments, and im feeling pretty good, so im gonna try to make a dent in the laundry and also now that my knee is better, get some walking clothes together (shorts, socks, tshirts).

I understand! I have a niece who become upset if I buy something because I have so much stuff. But it is a great idea to donate.

Buffy01 · Jun 07, 2018 at 04:15 PM

I think I may know why I am hoarding. I pretty certain it because I don't have people in my life I am pretty much isolate myself.

Buffy01 · Jul 30, 2023 at 04:30 PM

I just decluttering one side of the living room

tossing out empty boxes and getting rid of the trash

make feel better.

htoun · Jul 16, 2018 at 08:36 PM

still haven't taken any of the bags away. The Dr changed up my thyroid meds so I'm hoping that will help with the awake and alert problem. I hate feeling this tired and blaah.

Buffy01 · Jul 19, 2018 at 09:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by htoun

still haven't taken any of the bags away. The Dr changed up my thyroid meds so I'm hoping that will help with the awake and alert problem. I hate feeling this tired and blaah.

I completely understand! The heat is what drains my energy because of how hot it been. Even with the storms and rain.

rechu · Sep 21, 2018 at 05:44 AM

My husband and I have been working on decluttering for about the past two months. I wouldn't say our house is at the level of a hoarder's, but there is definitely clutter we need to get rid of. We should be buying a new house in the next few months, so this will give us less to move.

Most weekends we focus on one area to not get overwhelmed. We don't have time during the week usually. We just had a five-day weekend for our national holidays, which gave us some time to really advance. My husband finally recognized that he has a bunch of papers accumulated from classes he took years ago, which he wasn't going to look at again. He got rid of three huge binders of them, which was good progress for him. He definitely can have a tough time throwing things out.

The bedroom closet is this weekend's goal.

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88Butterfly88 Moderator Community Support Team Member Since Dec 2015 Location: New Jersey Posts: 54,223 (SuperPoster!) 8 10.5k hugs given	Mar 26, 2018 at 07:27 PM #8 You said you donated the clothes, that's great. Maybe knowing your donation can help someone can make you feel less guilty.
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Buffy01 Wise Elder Member Since Oct 2017 Location: USA Posts: 9,596 (SuperPoster!) 6 9,757 hugs given	Mar 16, 2020 at 08:30 PM #10 I clean out one closet.
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htoun Member Member Since Feb 2016 Location: southern Ont. Canada Posts: 327 8 49 hugs given	May 20, 2018 at 10:58 PM #12 Buffy01 thanks. I go in and out of being able to get rid of things mostly cause I get to tired and frustrated to deal with anything. Sometimes though it’s cause I want to own all of it. Right now I’m mostly just tired it seems such an effort to do anything. No one around here seems to notice or care one way or the other. It’s not like they help
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Buffy01 Wise Elder Member Since Oct 2017 Location: USA Posts: 9,596 (SuperPoster!) 6 9,757 hugs given	Jun 07, 2018 at 04:15 PM #16 I think I may know why I am hoarding. I pretty certain it because I don't have people in my life I am pretty much isolate myself.
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htoun Member Member Since Feb 2016 Location: southern Ont. Canada Posts: 327 8 49 hugs given	Jul 16, 2018 at 08:36 PM #18 still haven't taken any of the bags away. The Dr changed up my thyroid meds so I'm hoping that will help with the awake and alert problem. I hate feeling this tired and blaah.
	Reply With Quote