so I really want to try and stop doing this- breaking my stuff, then to replace it later on with the exact same object

I originally started doing this as a coping method to help with self harm (rather than harm my body, do it to my objects)

but my problem is this:

as I continued to do it, I found myself enjoying it- I'd notice little cracks or the object not working correctly and I'd be like... just a bit more damage- and it will break

then it does break, and I get depressed about losing it, so have to spend money I don't have buying a new one (of the exact same thing)

it really helps with my SH activity (it's been less), and it does feel good breaking my stuff

but I know it isn't good (for the reasons mentioned above)

I suppose I am a little afraid about stopping it..