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Member
Member Since Aug 2019
Location: europe
Posts: 44
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#1
Hi,
Since I started working night shift daily- 2 years ago - I completely stop going out. I walk the dog 4 times a day, one of this walks is a long one, and my only social time is with my dog owner friend. That's it. And the rest of the walks are boring, I just want to go back home. No more going to the beach in the summer, no more sports, no more nothing. I imagine, I plan trips, swimming, this and that...and I don't go. My days are short and I have ZERO energy to be with anyone or do anything. My day off I sleep and stay home. Reading, learning. I can't seem to find what exactly is blocking me. I don't know if it's anxiety for spending money on myself, or anxiety because I have to get ready to go to work and I can't relax, discomfort for doing things alone, simply lack of quality sleep... I'm using hypnosis for fighting agoraphobia, enjoy outdoors, crave exercise, fight social anxiety, be more productive and even frequency sounds to get more energy. Still, nothing. I wake up and feel like crap. When I worked a week in a daytime shift I slept all night for 7 days and I had lots of energy, I organized my goals, I worked on each of them. By noon, I had already done lots of things. All indoors things but those were the first things of my list of goals and to dos. Then I went back to the night shift and I can't even do stretches...it's daunting...I feel so drained, blocked, imprisoned. I want to be quiet. Alone, safe, comfortable and quiet. Any strategies? Recommended books, videos, articles about this? I have a sleep routine, I eat well. And sometimes I can feel the kick to exercise, but it's not everyday. And I just can't see myself going anywhere. thank you |
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unaluna
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Member
Member Since Aug 2019
Location: europe
Posts: 44
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#2
As an update,
after writing this, I went outside to walk the dog and I felt so annoyed with this blockage, so so annoyed - what is wrong with me?! I refuse to spend another day (off) at home doing nothing! -I looked at my dog... saw those pretty eyes so resigned to walk the same walk again and I just said enough! Let's go, dog, let's go to the beach. I went inside to get my things. Did it fast before I regretted and the momentum was gone. And to my overthinking I said "screw you!". I have money, I have gas, I have time, if I get there and it's dark, then I come home, but I'm going, if it's crowded and I can't go with the dog, I go for a walk around, whatever. I'll just go. I did. My dog loved it, it was great. I felt so proud! And I proved myself that it isn't hard. It doesn't take that much energy. And it warmed me up to go back. I guess I was falling in the habit of not going. And forgot how relaxing actually is. Was it a temporary burst of energy? Hope not. |
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Anonymous48672, Purple,Violet,Blue, Raindropvampire, TheMoodyDutchman, unaluna
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TheMoodyDutchman
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smiling musical soul
Member Since Mar 2010
Location: Indy
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#3
It takes a lot to work 3rd shift and it does mess with your internal clock which (in my experience) affects motivation and energy. Plus it's hard to break routine. I know when I get in a rut of not going out then it gets harder and harder to leave my house. So I force myself out for lunch with friends or even just to go to the grocery store. It helps but then I fall back into old habits. Good luck to you and establishing a new routine.
You might check out Shift Work Disorder. It can also affect motivation and energy. __________________ I think I need help 'cause I'm drowning in myself. It's sinking in, I can't pretend that I ain't been through hell. I think I need help---Papa Roach |
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walkingby
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Member Since Aug 2019
Location: europe
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#4
Yeah, I'm afraid today I may just have had a burst of energy. I'll try to use this experience as a reminder for the other activities.
I will read more about the shift work disorder. I need to fight this, because nowhere in the near future I will change to another shift. And I can't live like this. It's ridiculous. Thank you |
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Raindropvampire
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Disreputable Old Troll
Member Since Oct 2015
Location: The Star of the North
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#5
Quote:
__________________ "I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last) |
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TheMoodyDutchman, walkingby, WastingAsparagus
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Member
Member Since Aug 2019
Location: europe
Posts: 44
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#6
And to you too.
This was actually fun to do and I can't wait to do it again (yey). But it takes a lot - a lot - of discipline to "do what needs to be done". I have no energy for anything but passive stuff. I will try to apply that mantra too. I'll write it down on a post it to read it all the time. I think it may help. I did that with sugar. I wrote on a post-it "No sugar today". And I stopped the habit of eating cookies and cakes everyday. |
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Skeezyks
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Member
Member Since May 2016
Location: USA
Posts: 487
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#7
I would also say if you are skipping sunshine daylight it can wreak havoc with your vitamins, sleep,motivation etc ,if you have health insurance ,pay your doctor a visit get some labs to make sure it's nothing metabolic ,related to a deficiency .I used to work rotating shifts (72 hours on 72 off then your on the next shift ) and it sucked the life right out of me .
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Student of Life
Member Since Mar 2014
Location: South America
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#8
Quote:
I liked this quote a lot. I get hung up a lot on what needs to be done, but honestly, I already know what needs to be done. It's an intuitive thing, for me at least. |
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Skeezyks
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Elder
Member Since Jan 2010
Location: Where? US
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#9
Humans need the sun, and humans need connection. Two things that are hard to do when we feel hard emotions. (hard emotions: fear, anxiety, sadness, depression, anger, and others) Why did I not say negative.... because thinking in terms of this or that harms us as humans.
Discipline is achieved by SAMLL actions every stinking day. IF we like it or not. Finding the WHY behind the goal is a good way to go. I set out on a path to discover my why behind 12 areas of life, and I found hope that mental illness doesn't have to be LIFE long. Our past influences our present, and that can be hard to kick to the curb. When I learned what I wanted in life, my life improved. I fully believe that mental illness is driven by the past, in relationships, and in our environment. Not everyone believes that people can change, but we change every day, which leads me to the conclusion that change is possible. Mental illness is a label. And in some areas, like Findland, they are finding that connection to others helps to bring people out of having to take medication. If you want someone as an example lookup Daniel Fisher, M.D., Ph.D. He recovered from schizophrenia and is now an advocate for those who are struggling, and for those professionals that think they know everything. I do not know everything, but I do know that when I found hope, healing started. I have many more ideas that could help, and if you want one, let me know. Change is HARD work. and it takes action, every stinkin' day. Whether or not we feel like it or not. Letting our emotions rule our lives is not fair to us, and its just a feeling, not an action. I hear you. And I also know that recovery is possible, and support from others is NOT optional. We need each other to help to raise us up. WIthout connection to others, we grow weak, and lose parts of ourselves. Make the effort, because you know that it will help. That help may not be right away, but the reward later on is worth every minute. |
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unaluna
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unaluna
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