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Legendary
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 10,193
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#1
This bright idea may only last as long as it takes me to write this. I think I’ll ask them if I can move in with them. I can take the front bedroom. I can give them rent toward owning it, which will let them live there and have income. I will have to put money into cleaning and fixing it up, as everything is breaking and old. I can just get away from my husband and let him care for our son this last year. Our son will be 18 in his last year of high school anyway and driving, and husband is unemployed. I have had it with my family. My folks are old and not long for this world. I want to just go home and go to my room a total failure.
__________________ "And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T |
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unaluna
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Poohbah
Member Since Dec 2015
Location: Phoenix
Posts: 1,280
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#2
Do a pros and cons list.
You are not a failure. Life just gets bumpy sometimes. Sometimes trying a different approach is ok, thinking outside the box. __________________ Bipolar 2 with anxious distress mixed states & rapid cycling under severe stress tegretol 200 mg wellbutrin 75 mg, cut in half or higher dose as needed Regular aerobic exercise SKILLSET/KNOWLEDGE BASE: Family Medical Advocate Masters in Library Science Multiple Subject Teaching Credential-15 yrs in public schools |
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TishaBuv
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Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2012
Location: new england
Posts: 7,733
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#3
Pros and Cons is a great idea.
And if there is a good reason this is not the best idea, think of others. so many potential roads to travel...one life __________________ "...don't say Home / the bones of that word mend slowly...' marie harris |
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TishaBuv
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Legendary
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 10,193
(SuperPoster!)
9 1,872 hugs
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#4
This post was just my flight response. I was in a really bad way last night.
My relationships are actually doing a little better lately. Mom and I are cool as long as I don’t get into anything with her that will set her off. She’s been great lately. My FOO showed me their true colors and I’ve accepted what it is. No, we’re not close. It was only an illusion that we ever were anyway. My husband is okay. He is the biggest trigger for me with our intimacy issue. We’re handling it the best we can. Last night, he set me off. Today we’re better. My son is what it is. I accept it and will just leave him alone. I feel bad for having to show my other sons how ill I really am, but I don’t regret them knowing this fact. It’s important. It does mean a lot to me that they care and will stay by my side. I didn’t go running and fly. I zonked myself out instead. I woke up and can handle another day. __________________ "And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T |
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Purple,Violet,Blue
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winter4me
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Legendary
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 10,193
(SuperPoster!)
9 1,872 hugs
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#5
I had another bad day. The going back to mom’s idea may not be such a bad one. Maybe I can go and take a little break. At least, maybe she’ll let me clean out one room so I can sleep in it. It’s filled with smelly old clutter and I can’t stand it. It’s old record albums and closets full of stuff no one’s used in years, just making smelly dust. Mom and Dad are nose blind to it and like the clutter. I am extremely allergic and neurotic and can’t stand it...so there’s that...
__________________ "And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T |
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Legendary
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 10,193
(SuperPoster!)
9 1,872 hugs
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#6
I just don’t want to be alone. I’ll never get the energy to go and get myself an apartment and just move out. I just can’t do it.
I got along with my folks when we lived together. They were easy to live with actually and nice to me...back when I was 25. Now it’s 30 years later. At least I don’t need them for money, it’s the other way around now. I’m suffering here too much with my husband. I’m in a bad mood from him all the time and just knocking myself out with meds. I don’t need to be doing this. I’m wasting my whole life for what? I want to go home. Even my nearly adult son doesn’t need me now. He’s busy with his friends, has credit cards, takes care of himself. Husband doesn’t work so can be the parent to make sure he goes to school final year. I can be close enough when he needs me. The thought of calling that divorce attorney again just kills me...I can’t stand to do it. Husband will just guilt me out of it anyway. Maybe he’ll just let me have this little break. __________________ "And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T |
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since May 2019
Location: USA
Posts: 1,523
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#7
Quote:
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TishaBuv, unaluna
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: US
Posts: 22,376
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#8
Thought you already lived in your own apartment apart from your husband. Maybe you went back to your husband. I thought you were divorcing. Looks like you aren’t.
It sounds like you are still unhappy. Maybe moving in with mom isn’t a bad idea. Life is too short to be miserable. You don’t need his permission to have a break btw. |
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TishaBuv
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Legendary
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 10,193
(SuperPoster!)
9 1,872 hugs
given |
#9
Quote:
I’m seeing a psy now and on new meds. I had a bad weekend when I wrote this. Thankfully, I didn’t run away, just slept it off. I’m so glad we were together when our son emotionally abandoned us. I really don’t know if I’d have survived it alone. I’m not well...but I’m really good when I am good, if that makes sense. __________________ "And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T |
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Legendary
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 10,193
(SuperPoster!)
9 1,872 hugs
given |
#10
Quote:
__________________ "And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T |
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Legendary
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 10,193
(SuperPoster!)
9 1,872 hugs
given |
#11
I had a panic attack, took most of my clothes from the closet, threw them in my car, and went to my mother’s house tonight.
I felt good as soon as I left my house and did not stay upset. We had a pleasant night here. I still have insomnia though and am up now. I’m not sure what will be my next move. __________________ "And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T |
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