A few Measly Steps a Day

Onto my next internal adjustment ... dealing with yet another childhood shackle my interactions with my father had left me with. You can follow the details in my Steinbeck Warmups thread.

Dealing with a miffed repair, I think. We needed an alternator replaced and used wrench.com. Routine, right?

But, when we moved the car half a block it ran rough and there was a smell of gas. Called wrench ... next visit by the same mechanic on Monday at three. Disrupts a few plans my partner had to attend a class. For the second week.

My work with a senior center is probably wiped out. Despite the huge grant because that was from before ... this is going into post-COVID19. Seniors will be last "allowed" to congregate. The grant was all about various was to get together. In person. As in face-to-face.

My client has said "wel'll have to be more careful about my hours" from now on. So 2023 has shrunk to April 2020.

As we say when playing bid whist after a game ended,
New Day. Deal the cards.
Revu2

We had a tradition on the Barbara Sher forums of kicking off each month with a fresh thread. We discussed continuing that but settled on keeping one thread and letting it run long.

The flipping of the calendar page still brings a feeling of a slightly fresh start. Here's a list of recent things I've toyed with. Perhaps in the upcoming months I'll take each up in turn and say more.

• Tiny Habits as discovered by BJ Fogg
• WOOP - Wish Outcome Obstacle Plan
• Start to Finish, Finish to Start and Visionary Planning

This month: WOOP
From the website: What is WOOP?
WOOP is a science-based mental strategy that people can use to find and fulfill their wishes, set preferences, and change their habits.
Science
WOOP is based on 20 years of scientific research. The method has been shown to be effective in numerous studies with people of all ages and in many areas of life*.
*In research, WOOP is usually examined under the scientific term Mental Contrasting with Implementation Intentions, abbreviated MCII.

This is what it means: call up a Wish, describe what achieving the wish will do for you (Outcome), List one Inner Obstacle, Make a if-then or a when-then Plan. And carry on.
Revu2

Usually I WOOP while lying in bed before I get up for the day. It's quiet. One for now:
Wish: I want to be quicker to act on small matters.
Outcome: more time freed up to attend to bigger, more important stuff.
Obstacle: My imagination can see all the burdensome added or incumbent steps to following through completely.
Plan: When I decide something is relatively a small matter, assay the pros & cons within a minute, then decide and immediately act.

Example,
W: Someone posted USB headset on trash nothing.
O: A better headset might be great due to the bigger role online work has now.
O: It's free, but l'll have to clean it, and it not in the closest neighborhood.
P: The smallest act is to try to claim it. It might be taken and then the obstacles don't matter. If It's mine discuss options with owner. Make the trip an adventure.

wish - to get more writing done
objective - edit to the end of the novel
obstacle - none except lack of motivation.
plan - write until it gets too hot, go to the store, got to the Berkeley Marina to finish the editing, Come home, goof off shamelessly

I did the edit. Next plan - Berkeley Marina, bring computer. order pizza and salad (from mom and pop establishment.) then go home and goof off shamelessly.

Coming off a horrible-feeling experience with wrench.com where they intentionally skewed my call for their mobile mechanic to come check out a couple of problems my car had after their repair. They want to treat it like a non-related service call and charge their high diagnostic fee.

I really can't prove anything. Yet, I know, from a customer expectations and customer retention and customer positive word of mouth they have really messed up. I'm dedicating myself to getting my disgust with them to several review sites like yelp, car talk, & consumer affairs. Then I'm going to find out who the CEO is of one of the venture capitalist backers and tell then where I shared my experience and suggest that whatever business model wrench sold them on probably is lacking deep understanding of how to build a positive customer experience.
Whew! Thanks for letting me vent.

R

Have a detour: getting a cover & resume out for a decent enough looking part-time gig. Pays $23/hr helping with academic research on causes of health issues and their resolutions. Have to apply, given that my main client has alerted me to a big decrease in need for my time, and there are still things I want to do that will cost money. Imagine that.

Another detour is figuring out how and where to get away from the bad news for a day. Barely up and the onslaught begins. The doors for this are my email, even just the subject lines, and my partner, bless her spleen, who feels it's her appointed duty to keep me abreast of "the news." Well, it's their news, and I have plenty to deal with dealing with my news.

The big issue is I may not be able to find an open bathroom. This limits my roaming to about 4 hours, so 2 hours out, 2 to return. But, if I'm watchful I may find an option and then my day will be basically unlimited.

What will I do with most indoor options shut down still? What adventures will I have? Dunno, I'll have to find out.

r

Wish: Step away from the insistent negative news. I'm getting news daily that people I know are in crisis: one hasn't enough food, another feels trapped: too young to retire but currently out of work; all the yada yada spewing about COVID-19, everyone hollering across the civil hollow at one another .... ENOUGH! I'm stepping away for just one day. I'd like to do more, but with all the C-19 limits, there's no where that will take me in.

Outcome: reset my stamina, renew my strengths, recall my own intentions in the world, restore my compassion for those I love.

Obstacle: Technology (internet headlines), email, and my lovely partner. I originally thought I would get away for just myself. She invited herself along. It's been my experience that 90% of how she initiates talk starts off from the negative. Frankly, I don't think she has the discipline. I may have to schedule yet another day if she can't restrain herself. My own annoyance that I bear a burden on a day I'm hoping to slip from the loop of burdens for a day.

Plan: Remind her of the limits and that I decide what's a complaint or negative not her. Prepare to ask we travel in silence if she fails. (b) not look at email, not even a peak, till Sunday @ noon. Find a small book to bring that restores my spirits.
R

Oh, Revu2, I know what you mean. The news makes me either furious or depressed. My husband is pretty good about not mentioning it unless it's something that I really need to know, and then he feeds it to me in a a succinct bit. I know he'd like to rant about it a bit, but I can usually only take a small morsel. I'm glad I'm not the only one,

Re auto mechanics - I have a great one now, but I've also experienced bad mechanics.

Re public restrooms -ah yes, I remember, fondly, the days when you could . . .

And yikes! on the work. I hope it all turns out okay.

My goal for today is to email my friend's daughter about getting a photo for the cover of my book. My other goal is to continue working on the path to my garden. This will involve removing garbage, pruning some trees, and raking leaves and debris and putting it into the green waste container. Then comes the fun part - making it look appealing. and installing a hand rail.

Re writing - I was talking to a friend on the phone, and she was so excited about her writing project. She's elderly, and has some serious health issues, so she's been housebound. And she's thrilled, excited, exuberant about her writing project. I wish I felt like that.

That's it for me. Take care.

I'm realizing the value of the concept "A few measly steps a day." A friend of mine was married to a hoarder who passed away. That leaves her with the horrific task of dealing with his stuff. She's overwhelmed. I empathize. I can't imagine dealing with something that awful. And of course she's grieving the loss of someone she loved in the process. But I do know the only way to deal with it is by doing a few measly steps at at time.

For me - I'm having a lot of motivation problems. And sometimes the only reason I accomplish anything is that I've posted it here, and I want to post that I completed the step. So thanks for that. Case in point - I got the email off to my friends daughter, and I did a bit of editing. I also goofed a lot, but it would have been much worse if I didn't have this forum.

I have an auto mechanic story that may cheer you up, Revu2. When I worked in the hazardous materials program, we worked with a police investigator (I can't remember his exact title.) Anyway, he started working for us right after he'd finished a case against Sears. Sears' auto repair made a practice of doing work for customers that didn't need to be done. They settled for one million dollars.
Interestingly enough, soon after, I needed to replace a gasket on a water heater. They told me I needed a new water heater. Happy outcome - I called the water company, and they told the repair man exactly what needed to be replaced. And then . . . a rep from the water company came out to my house and showed the guy exactly what had to be done. Note - the water company had just changed their chlorination process which was why the gasket had to be replaced. That's probably why they were so helpful.

Wishing you happy outcomes.

Hey, several interesting strings in Delightful's last post.

(1) I'm realizing the value of the concept "A few measly steps a day." Yes, your friend has a big task. She's been adjusting to it for a good stretch of her marriage. My dad hoarded, and my youngest brother and I had the chore/burden/fun of dealing with it.

(2) For me - I'm having a lot of motivation problems … but it would have been much worse if I didn't have this forum. That's what we're here for.

(3) Sears ... settled for one million dollars. There was a big suit around the early 1990s and just last year another one. Class action suits are long, tedious, and most of the money goes to the attorneys. Still, you get a pinch of justice and that feels good. I'm currently looking for one against a fraud running on Indiegogo. I personally don't have the time and energy to lead it. Eventually there may be one against wrench.com. Meanwhile I'm getting my story onto Yelp, Google, and will find one of the venture capitalist firms after that and complain to them.

(4) Interestingly enough, soon after, I needed to replace a gasket on a water heater. Good outcome! KitchenAid (KA) fridge has a little fluted rubber cover for a drain sprout that channels small amounts of condensation while the machine is running. We found a flood one day as ice formed under the freezer compartment. Searching the web I found out about the part and how easy it was to DIY fix it (more or less). You had to pull the fridge forward, get to the part and clip the corners to make the hole larger. The burning thing was this whole time KA was selling me on extended warranty coverage and they raised in price the longer I didn't buy it. Guess what? this flooding thing happened about two years in, right in the middle of their warranty "protection." Yeah, Mafia style protection. For Shame, Kitchen Aid!
R

Have several work pieces to do today. Already sent off files for the online workshop we're doing next month. Need to finish board meeting notes I took from yesterday and get them out.

Also, left a binder at my client's office copies of board minutes. It's lost. Not quite sure where I left it at the front desk area and who knows who moved it with all the cleaning that covid-19 required.

So, I'm building another. It's not going to be as good as the other had some handouts and flyers shared at board meetings I'd collected over the past couple of years. Things like van design diagrams and financial reports. Not charging the client to pinch myself and as a reminder to keep it closer in hand until we have a formal handoff with a common understanding for its updating and safekeeping.

Additionally, I want to begin looking up the VC addresses to complain about wrench.com between other work.

Kind of a negative leaning day. Oh well.
R

It looks as if Wrench.com is averaging a complaint with the Better Business Bureau every couple of months. (estimate.) (I was curious.)
Revu2 I'm wishing you good vibes. I'm sorry you're dealing with bumps in the road. May they be temporary and easily smoothed out.

Me - All of a sudden I am swamped. Going from doing very little to swamped is a shock to the system. Also - I've been almost a hermit for the last three months. I've gotten out and I've talked to people, but just short bursts and usually over the phone. It's weird. Suddenly I'm doubting my social skills. I've always been a bit shy, but I've gotten over most of it as I grew older. Now, all of a sudden, I feel like it's the first day of kindergarten.

My steps for the next few days"

Today - call Lisa,
email Book club,
make up contest poster (more about this later)
talk to Ruben
Sunday - card to MIL
Monday - taxes
Tuesday - eye doctor.

The contest poster is a very cool project, and I'm in way over my head. I need cover art for my novel. My friend was going to make it for me, but she's dealing with horrific problems of her own and I don't want to add to them. I need a coral reef and a shark. Lots of color - eye-catching. My second friend told me talk to her daughter who is an amazing human being, and who is working on repairing/replacing coral reefs that were bleached out because of the warming oceans. (See Fragmentsofhope.org) I emailed her and asked if she had any such photos. She had a couple but not really what I want. She suggested a photo contest. The winner gets a cash donation to the non-profit of his/her choice. I'm going to change that to cash or donation, since a lot of people are feeling a pinch due to COVID. She said she'd post the contest on her Facebook page - she has 7000 friends on Facebook. The obstacle - Facebook has an app for contests that i can't figure out how to use. As I said, this person is amazing. So I feel I should get my part done ASAP. I haven't worked at top speed in years.
She has 7000 friends on Facebook. How cool is that!!!!! And her friends are the types who have photos of coral reefs. (They're also the types who would be interested in my novel..)

As I said, very cool, but I'm in way over my head. Please wish me good vibes. One step at a time.

I did everything on my list through Sunday except setting up the contest. I'm working on it, but this not a task in my comfort zone.

Happy stepping.

Hello everyone. Delightful, good vibes on your contest. How cool to get a genuine coral rescuer's picture for your cover. I notice that you have connections that just appear when you seem to need them.

Me: got those VC addresses, the letters written and sent on Thursday. Past couple of days I've been letting my Inner Work have time to work.

Oh, I'm getting things aligned to submit to the Design In Public conference (online for 2020). I have a handy method I learned that it might be fun to lead for others to try.

Had another mild disappointment Saturday when I failed to notice that getting into the national Conversation Day online event required two registrations. Aggrh. When I eventually worked out what the issue was a few minutes after it began I was too late (invited to join the wait list).

Shaking things off and moving ahead, R.

I have some minutes before my 11 am call. Discovered a lite weight list maker named listmoz. Having as much fun with it as one can with a list.

Dealing with the next major push with a client. Bad Faith from public elected officials, and of course their smiling lying in your face bureaucrats. Sigh. Suited up and rested.

Our siding project getting to the final bits. Just sent around a fix letter in prep for letter of significant completion, if that's the name. Me? I celebrate, if only reaching the milestone. My partner, never celebrates, just keeps fretting over the not done yets and the next major work.

Oh, roof likely to be finished today! Me? I celebrate!

Ritualizing finishing the leg of the work with boxing up all the samples. About half hold an interesting story. Carry the story, let go of the stuff.

Revu2

Interesting - your partner's take on reaching a milestone or completing a goal vs. your take on it. I used to be like your partner. I thought it would push me to do more, be better. Now i have to celebrate every achievement, no matter how small. Otherwise I'd get too depressed. Oh, by the way, congrats on all the steps, especially finishing the roof. That's a biggie.

Me - it's amazing the difference in myself when I get a good night's sleep vs. when I don't Yesterday I got a whole lot of horrible money-related chores done. (I HATE money-related chores.) (Just had to capitalize that..) After a bad night's sleep, I just want to hide and avoid the horrible (etc.) work. And I frequently do avoid it. And, of course, that only makes everything worse. I did a sleep study a few weeks ago. Still no results. The first night of the study, I had the best night's sleep I had in years. The second night was average. I hope they find something.

I'm working on the photo contest. i think I figured out how to do it. I have to upgrade to a $$premium plan. Which is okay by me. So I'm writing all the requirements for the photo. It has to be a certain size and resolution or Kindle can't use it. I'm still having fun with my garden. It's physical work which is better for med than sitting at a computer all day. And I'm inviting people to my back yard in a month. So it's not a total boondoggle. And it's fun!

Today I have a zoom meeting and I'm fixing dinner for a friend who is having all kinds of medical issues.

I've suddenly gone from really lazy to busy. It's a hard transition.

A few more setbacks for me. I can read my old blog, but I can't get into it to write anything new. I just keep getting directed to a different blog site. I don't think blogspot exists anymore. That may not be a bad thing. If I just start a new, fresh blog, I can use all my old posts and have a lot of material to enter. I think I've figured out how to do the contest. I still feel apprehensive about it. I'm looking for in-person friends (well, zoom friends) for encouragement, but so far I've just gotten someone who told me where I can get photos for free. Not the same thing.

I hope more of Barbara's boards show up here. I have a feeling it's going to be just you and me, Revu2 for a while.

Delightful, blogspot is owned by Google. Can't see that it's been discontinued. It might have been hacked.

Today, two calls. Both to be intense so keeping loose to preserve my Chi. After those are over (around 3 pm) I'll see what appeals to close out the day or I might close shop early.