A few Measly Steps a Day

I'm realizing the value of the concept "A few measly steps a day." A friend of mine was married to a hoarder who passed away. That leaves her with the horrific task of dealing with his stuff. She's overwhelmed. I empathize. I can't imagine dealing with something that awful. And of course she's grieving the loss of someone she loved in the process. But I do know the only way to deal with it is by doing a few measly steps at at time.

For me - I'm having a lot of motivation problems. And sometimes the only reason I accomplish anything is that I've posted it here, and I want to post that I completed the step. So thanks for that. Case in point - I got the email off to my friends daughter, and I did a bit of editing. I also goofed a lot, but it would have been much worse if I didn't have this forum.

I have an auto mechanic story that may cheer you up, Revu2. When I worked in the hazardous materials program, we worked with a police investigator (I can't remember his exact title.) Anyway, he started working for us right after he'd finished a case against Sears. Sears' auto repair made a practice of doing work for customers that didn't need to be done. They settled for one million dollars.
Interestingly enough, soon after, I needed to replace a gasket on a water heater. They told me I needed a new water heater. Happy outcome - I called the water company, and they told the repair man exactly what needed to be replaced. And then . . . a rep from the water company came out to my house and showed the guy exactly what had to be done. Note - the water company had just changed their chlorination process which was why the gasket had to be replaced. That's probably why they were so helpful.

Wishing you happy outcomes.

Hey, several interesting strings in Delightful's last post.

(1) I'm realizing the value of the concept "A few measly steps a day." Yes, your friend has a big task. She's been adjusting to it for a good stretch of her marriage. My dad hoarded, and my youngest brother and I had the chore/burden/fun of dealing with it.

(2) For me - I'm having a lot of motivation problems … but it would have been much worse if I didn't have this forum. That's what we're here for.

(3) Sears ... settled for one million dollars. There was a big suit around the early 1990s and just last year another one. Class action suits are long, tedious, and most of the money goes to the attorneys. Still, you get a pinch of justice and that feels good. I'm currently looking for one against a fraud running on Indiegogo. I personally don't have the time and energy to lead it. Eventually there may be one against wrench.com. Meanwhile I'm getting my story onto Yelp, Google, and will find one of the venture capitalist firms after that and complain to them.

(4) Interestingly enough, soon after, I needed to replace a gasket on a water heater. Good outcome! KitchenAid (KA) fridge has a little fluted rubber cover for a drain sprout that channels small amounts of condensation while the machine is running. We found a flood one day as ice formed under the freezer compartment. Searching the web I found out about the part and how easy it was to DIY fix it (more or less). You had to pull the fridge forward, get to the part and clip the corners to make the hole larger. The burning thing was this whole time KA was selling me on extended warranty coverage and they raised in price the longer I didn't buy it. Guess what? this flooding thing happened about two years in, right in the middle of their warranty "protection." Yeah, Mafia style protection. For Shame, Kitchen Aid!
R

Have several work pieces to do today. Already sent off files for the online workshop we're doing next month. Need to finish board meeting notes I took from yesterday and get them out.

Also, left a binder at my client's office copies of board minutes. It's lost. Not quite sure where I left it at the front desk area and who knows who moved it with all the cleaning that covid-19 required.

So, I'm building another. It's not going to be as good as the other had some handouts and flyers shared at board meetings I'd collected over the past couple of years. Things like van design diagrams and financial reports. Not charging the client to pinch myself and as a reminder to keep it closer in hand until we have a formal handoff with a common understanding for its updating and safekeeping.

Additionally, I want to begin looking up the VC addresses to complain about wrench.com between other work.

Kind of a negative leaning day. Oh well.
R

It looks as if Wrench.com is averaging a complaint with the Better Business Bureau every couple of months. (estimate.) (I was curious.)
Revu2 I'm wishing you good vibes. I'm sorry you're dealing with bumps in the road. May they be temporary and easily smoothed out.

Me - All of a sudden I am swamped. Going from doing very little to swamped is a shock to the system. Also - I've been almost a hermit for the last three months. I've gotten out and I've talked to people, but just short bursts and usually over the phone. It's weird. Suddenly I'm doubting my social skills. I've always been a bit shy, but I've gotten over most of it as I grew older. Now, all of a sudden, I feel like it's the first day of kindergarten.

My steps for the next few days"

Today - call Lisa,
email Book club,
make up contest poster (more about this later)
talk to Ruben
Sunday - card to MIL
Monday - taxes
Tuesday - eye doctor.

The contest poster is a very cool project, and I'm in way over my head. I need cover art for my novel. My friend was going to make it for me, but she's dealing with horrific problems of her own and I don't want to add to them. I need a coral reef and a shark. Lots of color - eye-catching. My second friend told me talk to her daughter who is an amazing human being, and who is working on repairing/replacing coral reefs that were bleached out because of the warming oceans. (See Fragmentsofhope.org) I emailed her and asked if she had any such photos. She had a couple but not really what I want. She suggested a photo contest. The winner gets a cash donation to the non-profit of his/her choice. I'm going to change that to cash or donation, since a lot of people are feeling a pinch due to COVID. She said she'd post the contest on her Facebook page - she has 7000 friends on Facebook. The obstacle - Facebook has an app for contests that i can't figure out how to use. As I said, this person is amazing. So I feel I should get my part done ASAP. I haven't worked at top speed in years.
She has 7000 friends on Facebook. How cool is that!!!!! And her friends are the types who have photos of coral reefs. (They're also the types who would be interested in my novel..)

As I said, very cool, but I'm in way over my head. Please wish me good vibes. One step at a time.

I did everything on my list through Sunday except setting up the contest. I'm working on it, but this not a task in my comfort zone.

Happy stepping.

Hello everyone. Delightful, good vibes on your contest. How cool to get a genuine coral rescuer's picture for your cover. I notice that you have connections that just appear when you seem to need them.

Me: got those VC addresses, the letters written and sent on Thursday. Past couple of days I've been letting my Inner Work have time to work.

Oh, I'm getting things aligned to submit to the Design In Public conference (online for 2020). I have a handy method I learned that it might be fun to lead for others to try.

Had another mild disappointment Saturday when I failed to notice that getting into the national Conversation Day online event required two registrations. Aggrh. When I eventually worked out what the issue was a few minutes after it began I was too late (invited to join the wait list).

Shaking things off and moving ahead, R.

I have some minutes before my 11 am call. Discovered a lite weight list maker named listmoz. Having as much fun with it as one can with a list.

Dealing with the next major push with a client. Bad Faith from public elected officials, and of course their smiling lying in your face bureaucrats. Sigh. Suited up and rested.

Our siding project getting to the final bits. Just sent around a fix letter in prep for letter of significant completion, if that's the name. Me? I celebrate, if only reaching the milestone. My partner, never celebrates, just keeps fretting over the not done yets and the next major work.

Oh, roof likely to be finished today! Me? I celebrate!

Ritualizing finishing the leg of the work with boxing up all the samples. About half hold an interesting story. Carry the story, let go of the stuff.

Revu2

Interesting - your partner's take on reaching a milestone or completing a goal vs. your take on it. I used to be like your partner. I thought it would push me to do more, be better. Now i have to celebrate every achievement, no matter how small. Otherwise I'd get too depressed. Oh, by the way, congrats on all the steps, especially finishing the roof. That's a biggie.

Me - it's amazing the difference in myself when I get a good night's sleep vs. when I don't Yesterday I got a whole lot of horrible money-related chores done. (I HATE money-related chores.) (Just had to capitalize that..) After a bad night's sleep, I just want to hide and avoid the horrible (etc.) work. And I frequently do avoid it. And, of course, that only makes everything worse. I did a sleep study a few weeks ago. Still no results. The first night of the study, I had the best night's sleep I had in years. The second night was average. I hope they find something.

I'm working on the photo contest. i think I figured out how to do it. I have to upgrade to a $$premium plan. Which is okay by me. So I'm writing all the requirements for the photo. It has to be a certain size and resolution or Kindle can't use it. I'm still having fun with my garden. It's physical work which is better for med than sitting at a computer all day. And I'm inviting people to my back yard in a month. So it's not a total boondoggle. And it's fun!

Today I have a zoom meeting and I'm fixing dinner for a friend who is having all kinds of medical issues.

I've suddenly gone from really lazy to busy. It's a hard transition.

A few more setbacks for me. I can read my old blog, but I can't get into it to write anything new. I just keep getting directed to a different blog site. I don't think blogspot exists anymore. That may not be a bad thing. If I just start a new, fresh blog, I can use all my old posts and have a lot of material to enter. I think I've figured out how to do the contest. I still feel apprehensive about it. I'm looking for in-person friends (well, zoom friends) for encouragement, but so far I've just gotten someone who told me where I can get photos for free. Not the same thing.

I hope more of Barbara's boards show up here. I have a feeling it's going to be just you and me, Revu2 for a while.

Delightful, blogspot is owned by Google. Can't see that it's been discontinued. It might have been hacked.

Today, two calls. Both to be intense so keeping loose to preserve my Chi. After those are over (around 3 pm) I'll see what appeals to close out the day or I might close shop early.

As regular viewers of This Tangle Called My Life know, I'm in an intense battle with the mayor of my fair city (with my client). Yesterday its rumored that the mayor lied in a press conference and said she had an agreement with us on her terms. I'll spare the details but there's no agreement, as in, a document signed by her and us.

Along the way in back office meetings with city staff, a particular item was initially "on the table" then at our insistence withdrawn. Near the end of the talks I I asked about it to make sure I was going forward with that agreement in place. The mayor's rep said to my face, "X was never part of this discussion." I suspected he was lying, and now she shows he was.

I'm angry at him for lying in my face.

Now a curious thing sometimes happens. I express this anger congruently with tone and posture, and people I'm talking take up what? Support me? Or implicitly support this absent third person by tossing up theories about why he lied. I've learned to say, "you're defending a liar? When did you become his spokesperson? Leave him to defend himself." But this conversation distracts from the main work and leaves me doubtful of the values of the person defending a liar.

Clearly there's a slippery preference being tested: supporting me in my moral outrage is LESS important than dulling my anger.

I'll be damned. I don't want his lying explained, it want the truth from him. As I do everyone. My default is everyone speaks the truth. What comes for anyone's mouth is 100% their responsibility. Should their boss ask them to lie, they have their choice to make. He made his.

Here's the thing. My Anger is my Shield—my early warning system. Anytime I have anything to do with the liar an inner sentry whispers "this man lies." Now if I take this sentry off duty and whisper instead, "have compassion. He grew up in a den of liars. Why, his mammy and pappy were the best liars in three counties. It's not his responsibility what he says and does" I'm left Wide Open to More Lies. This is never good for me because when will the abuse end and what will they steal or destroy of mine in the process?

So this morning I resolved to say very calmly, "hm, he lied to me. Looking me in the eye. How about that?" And leave out my Anger-Shield-Sentry because it's enough I know at least one person in the world he will take advantage of if I don't take it personal—me.

Revu2

I hate being lied to. I consider it a form of disrespect. And I hate being angry. When I'm angry, I have a hard time letting go. I'm sorry you're dealing with all that, but it looks like you're dealing with it in the best possible way. And it looks as if lying is becoming an accepted way of handling problems. The trouble is, once someone has been found out to be a liar, everything he/she says after that is questionable. Good vibes to you, Revu2. (That rhymes.)

I successfully set up a contest on Facebook. Sort of. I need to add some details, and I can't find how to edit the post. Also, I added a link to my blog but I can't get into my blog to write comments. At least I can view the blog, so I can copy and paste all the things I posted there before.

My dislike/hatred of new technology makes me think. When I entered college, I was afraid that I'd learn everything there was to learn, and there'd be no more new things learn. After a couple of weeks in college, I decided there wasn't much danger of that. Now, many years later, I don't want to learn new things. I just want to be able to hand on to what I do know. Where is that young thing with all that curiosity, that thirst for knowledge. I'm the same person. What happened? I suspect the answer is that I always did well in school. If something was difficult, I just worked at it and tried harder until I got it. But real life is harder than school - for me at least. Wrong answers seem to abound. I am trying to embrace new technology - trying is the operative word - and it's frustrating. I have to tell myself that sometimes I do succeed. But I am afraid of the failures, especially the failures involving hacking. And there are mistakes with really bad consequences.

So for today, my steps are - resolve blog issue - either start a new blog or get on my old blog.
get into the cover part of Kindle and make sure I know exactly what KDP needs for it's photographs.

I did start working on yesterday's steps, but I didn't get very far. I wish I had an in=person person guiding my steps.

Just got word that we've secured another grant I wrote! This time for $450,000 to establish to "evidence-based" standards a dance program keeps seniors moving, supple, and standing (not falling). Till Dec 2023.

WooHoo! No sooner had I finished my celebratory Whoop than Dear Partner reminded me of all the hassles ahead dealing with temperamental artistic personalities. Then I remember a bumper-sticker sentiment from my early adult times: if you don't have hassles you don't have a job.

But wait—more success mounting up: our front siding on the condo is 99% finished and the fresh roof is 100% done. Yet to do the walk around to sign off on the work and kick in the warranty period of one year, add new lights, and paint the deck walls with water resistant paint. In due time.

Back around March I began to look into possibly changing our insurance company for the whole building. We currently pay State Farm $13,800, with earthquake (EQ) coverage included—along with a whopping $25K deductible! SF regularly presented how lucky we were because very few carriers offered EQ coverage. I pointed out to my fellow owners that we should check that out at SF has two motives when they talk with us: answer our factual questions and prevent us from dating other carriers. Nobody tells me who to date!

Even the commercial insurance staff person at the insurance commissioner's office thought our deal was just fine and that it would nearly impossible to do better. Well, it wasn't easy, but when is something worth doing super easy? Found a carrier that offers comparable coverage, with EQ with a 5% deductible, and just $10K for all else. More? Same? No, No. Less! around $2,500 less.

So, I'm feeling that steady work sometimes delivers.
Enjoy the weekend, R

Steady work sometimes delivers. Yay, R, I remember many a frustrated post about the siding. So congrats. And congrats for the grant and insurance. I know how hard you worked. I'm glad for your success.

Me - all I can say is I'm at the steady work stage. And sometimes it's not so steady. I might have some interesting posts in about a week (I hope.) For now I just need to remember "steady work sometimes delivers. If I can just keep working steadily, and if nothing bad happens . . .

okay, to the page. Actually, I have a couple of chores to do first. Then, to the page.

A few days ago, I read sixty pages without finding a single error. And today I read fifty pages - different pages without a single mistake. Now in between the two days, I did find errors, but, for me, this is huge. Steady work sometimes delivers. Much more steady work to do. "Miles to go before I sleep. Another good thing - Camp Nanowrimo starts in a few days, and I always get a lot of work done at virtual camp.

Happy stepping

Stepping back in. Delightful, steady goes the editing.

I applied and got accepted to present at the annual Design in Public Festival this August. I'm guessing I've gone to seven of the past 9 festivals. Run by the local architecture chapter. Now I have to settle on my final text and come up with an image. Got ideas.

Steady as we go,

R

That's fantastic. Wishing you a great presentation.

This pales in comparison to what you're doing, R, but I'm going to upload my novel to find out how many pages it is to calculate the width of the spine so that I can give info to the people in the contest who need to know the specifications for the photo for the cover.

Are hugs like "likes" on Facebook? An encouragement to the person who posted. Or does it mean anything else?

Dunno myself. Most times it seems they work like sympathy or support icons.

Had a tooth pulled by complex, expensive surgery today. According to the docs it was to the best. According to me, it was costly, painful (not by much) and groggy-minded. That was the entire todo list for today. The rest, some reading and catching up, is bonus.
r

Hi World of PsychCentral,

This thread migrated from Barbara Sher's forums before she closed that site. A few months after that she died. The Mother of Modern Coaching, more than anyone else she nudged many fench-sitting wannabee creatives of all varieties into action. RIP Barbara, you won your long rest the hard way.

I like to mark the start of a new month as a month is a decent cadence for many. A week, day, or hour may work better for you.

Revu2

THREE GOALS
- Drink 100 ounces water
- Do 3 gratitude + 3 encouragement journal entries
- Do deep breathing + stretching pre-bed

Hi, Noexcuses2020, Please keep coming back. Having us cheer you on really does help.

I'm doing something that - for me - is really hard . I wish SquarePegGuy was around because this involves photography. And it's nowhere near as challenging as what you're facing, Revu2, but it's hard for me. I'm trying to host a photography contest on Facebook. - coral reef photos. In order to do that, I need to know what to tell the contestants. So I need to know what KDP needs for the photo, so I'm trying Canva.com to try to get a photo that will work for KDP. This is all convoluted, since the best layout for KDP doesn't include the title and name of the author on the front cover. ????? That means I have to add words to the photo. But I can't do it in word, because word docs have poor resolution, so I have to add words to a JPG, hence trying Canva. This ain't going to be easy. I'm glad that I wrestled with photography when I wrote The Molly Chronicles, because I did learn some things that are helpful for this. I tried using Photoshop once, but couldn't figure out enough of it to be useful.

I hope this isn't an exercise in frustration. A good chunk of yesterday was spent spouting cuss words. I'm really going to have to get a handle on that habit. The baby next door doesn't need to hear #$%@.

Happy stepping along, everyone.