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Default Mar 23, 2023 at 04:54 PM
  #641
My optimism took a blow. I decided to get a website. The company I chose was a scam.
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Default Mar 23, 2023 at 10:14 PM
  #642
Hi Ms D, bummer you got sucked in. There's no corner of philosophy which drives me battier than this optimism, pessimism, realist, puzzle. Fundamentally, it's not at all tied to a forecast or outcome.
Lynx (my aka on Sher's forum) wrote:

Just read a reference to the Stockdale Paradox. James Stockdale was the highest ranking officer in the infamous "Hanoi Hilton" during the Vietnam War. He served 7.5 years, organized resistance among the American prisoners, thwarted efforts to be used as propaganda, etc.

It just happens he found this sustaining philosophy during a War. I'm not a fan of war, especially this one, but there's something to learn from everything. That said, here goes.

He managed using Stoic philosophy (which I mostly know through Seneca's writings). Picking up now from wikipedia:

In a business book by James C. Collins called Good to Great, Collins writes about a conversation he had with Stockdale regarding his coping strategy during his period in the Vietnamese POW camp.[18]

I never lost faith in the end of the story, I never doubted not only that I would get out, but also that I would prevail in the end and turn the experience into the defining event of my life, which, in retrospect, I would not trade.[19]

When Collins asked who didn't make it out of Vietnam, Stockdale replied:

Oh, that's easy, the optimists. Oh, they were the ones who said, 'We're going to be out by Christmas.' And Christmas would come, and Christmas would go. Then they'd say, 'We're going to be out by Easter.' And Easter would come, and Easter would go. And then Thanksgiving, and then it would be Christmas again. And they died of a broken heart.[19]

Stockdale then added:

This is a very important lesson. You must never confuse faith that you will prevail in the end—which you can never afford to lose—with the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
His, "I never lost faith" is the quality of optimism Bonhoeffer talks to. The others who cracked were forecasting events they had no control over. Keeping the faith, that one can control and Stockdale did.

Keep the Faith, Revu2

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Default Mar 27, 2023 at 07:13 PM
  #643
Good point, R. Right now I'm trying to figure out how to protect myself from scams before I stick my neck out again.
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Default Apr 01, 2023 at 03:51 AM
  #644
Just got scammed myself! $20 via a fake site selling supposedly discounted 3M products. Paid with PayPal. After the required "reach out to vendor" steps (2 email follow ups that I know won't be answered) I'll file a Resolution complaint with PP and take it up from there.

Over the past 2 years we've had a couple of scams run thru PP and once the complaint get's properly opened, PP works pretty quickly to see what they can do.

We'll see this time around. In a book on the origins of PP I skimmed, they understood from the beginning that they were making money out of "trust" and had to do their part to uphold the [implicit] deal. Just a long way to say they started out taking this type of stuff very seriously.

Each new challenge is its own thing, so I'll report on how this one turns out.

Meanwhile, I've decided I'll need to test out the noise reduction ear muffs in person because the other one's I've tried off Ebay were too tight.

Oh, and I "returned" them to a seller on Ebay, paying $16 originally, which included tax, and paying shipping and tax again (?) to send them back. Net for the round trip: $6.

Burned, but too little to bother.
Oy

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Default Apr 04, 2023 at 10:37 AM
  #645
I track my biorhythms. Have since I read one of the first books about them. First by hand with stencils cut to the cycles on graph paper and then on computer spreadsheets.

Interestingly, there are a few people who write that biorhythms (Br) are pseudo-science, meaning almost-science or mimic-science. That's what the genius editors at Wikipedia let through the last time I checked. That's for them to figure out. The charts match my experience and that's good enough for this n = 1.

That's the prolog. To the classic 3 cycles—23 day physical cycles, 28 day emotional cycle, and 33 day mental cycles—I made a 4th. It's a average of the other 3, cept it never drops under zero. This ranges from nearly zero—I joke that people should check my pulse—to about 8—throw me in a lake to cool off.

As I puzzled over how much to set as my work time everyday it occurred to me that I could map the average cycle. Say it's 6.4 today, that would be 6.4 hours or 6 hrs, 24 min. This is very cool as I'll give myself more work time when my numbers are higher and I feel less fatigue, and less work time when they are lower and I tire faster.

Trying it this week and will report back.

R

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Default Apr 06, 2023 at 03:55 PM
  #646
I think your plan to use biorhythms to plan how much work you can comfortably do in a day will succeed. Most of the time the biorhythm calculator agrees with how I feel. One time it didn't, but that's only one time. And there are other factors to consider - working with a friend, doing something I want to do vs something I don't want to do, illness, bad things happening to me, and so on.
Coincidently, I've been wondering about the same thing. I started by setting a goal for myself of working 5 hrs. each day. The next week I increased it to 5.5 hrs. and so on. I'm up to 8 hrs. I find that five to six hours is a comfortable goal.
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Default Apr 06, 2023 at 04:26 PM
  #647
More on goals. I include everything constructive as work that counts towards my daily goals. The good thing about this is that the activities I don't want to do, such as making phone calls, get done. This is a good thing since a lot of chores that I might otherwise put off got done - taxes, finding and signing up for health insurance, Cleaning up the mess following the scam (I haven't finished that one yet.) Applying for a new credit card (also not finished.)

I managed to activate the card. The problem seems to be that my phone was breaking up as I was entering the many numbers they were asking for. I assumed that the problem was that I was somehow blocked from using the card. Anyway, problem solved.

On a more interesting subject - I want to buy a Karaoke machine. I think I'll use my newly activated credit card and buy it now.

Good vibes and good wishes
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Default Apr 07, 2023 at 04:54 AM
  #648
Hi D, hoping you get the credit card stuff straightened out soon. And about the Karaoke machine, how cool is that. You must love to sing.

Yes, I also write daily goals with everything I need or want to do. Anything that takes time, even meals and hygiene routines. I bracket the work stuff with "office hours." The most tedious of my office hours is slogging through email.

I'm always changing up how I make a list. For a while I thought this was a fault, why can't I stick to one system? Now I think of it as a creativity. To misquote the playwright Irene Fornes: there's a part that loves lists and a part that would rather not, and the list maker has to keep tricking the avoider.

I also have several lists ON at the same time. One is laid out mindmap style, one is online, and one is a daily duty list I create on scrap strips of paper. I get a small happy feeling when I can crumble this sheet and toss it aside.

Discovering this condo leader role is a time suck. Mostly because I have no control over the complexity and timing of what I will be charged to deal with. This week it's a broken garage door. A month ago it was a leak in the roof. And so on. And this is stuff that requires reaching businesses while they are open, so I can't put them off to the evening or weekends. I'm also drafting new rules, and dealing with a couple of owners who would rather I just not do a good job. A good job means I have to pester them and remind them of they are expected/required to do. Or engage directly with their renters about the same stuff.

As I'm working and also wanting to return to investing/trading during market hours, my days get really crowded. Yucksville & tiring.

Today after running errands via bus in the rain, I came back and napped for 5 hours.

It's my life at the moment. Guess I'm still breathing. R.

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Default Apr 10, 2023 at 11:49 AM
  #649
Awoke Saturday irritated at my circumstances. I have a half-shelf full of various card decks so I gathered 3 of them and sat with my mood. I have an I Ching Card Deck with the hexagrams on cards, I have a game design deck by Jess Schell with over 100 cards on lenses for designing games (life?), and I have a deck called Mixed Emotions with 60 emotions on cards.

About 90 minutes of mixing and matching these cards left me with an important Life Insight: I'm most irritated when 2 goals compete. Usually they compete for my Time On Task—which shall it be, Task A, NO, Task B asserts. Then A pushes on my schedule. But B sneaks in. Oy.

This time, Duty won (B) the Lead while Desire (A) stepped back. I then have to put a bracket on Duty so Desire will have its turn.

Once I sorted this out, first with cards and then emotionally, all calm broke loose.

Revu2

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Default Apr 10, 2023 at 05:25 PM
  #650
HI, R.

I empathize with your thoughts on lists. They work for me. When the procrastination gets too great, I write up my list of things to do on the Measly step boards. Admittedly, I haven't done it that much lately. But I do seem to get more done if I write a list and check off the items than if I just try to keep track of them in my head. Funny how selective memory is. I seem to - completely accidently, of course - forget the ones I don't want to do until I get to that point where I have to do them or suffer consequences. At the moment, I'm in a good place. I've caught up with all but one of the pressing chores.

I had my family over last Saturday, and the Karaoke worked great. My son-in-law set it up. He's valuable on two counts: He's good at electronics and he likes figuring them out. I think I could have figured it out, but . . . He's also one of those people who would pick up the mike and start singing. For a karaoke party, you have to have one of those people to start the singing. I wouldn't mind being that person, except that I can't carry a tune.

D, signing off.
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Default Apr 11, 2023 at 03:25 AM
  #651
Karaoke is one of those world phenoms that shows how picking up on a tiny detail can lead to great things. I'd read that a musician who owned a music store noticed customers humming along with pop songs played in his shop. Seems recorded musics for pro singers to front was already a thing in Japan, but the machine and adding the lyrics (Mitch Miller style) made it available for everyfolk.

Happy all had fun and you have both a roady/grip & the spark of the party as a son-in-law.

Could get better, but not by much. R.

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Default Apr 15, 2023 at 09:50 PM
  #652
I've been fortifying myself to meet my Student Loan obligation. The loan is a Parent Plus loan that I took out to fund my daughter's education.

I've never made a payment due to the COVID-19 Payment Pause, which was extended yet again due to litigation by a Texas judge.

I don't expect this pause to go on indefinitely, so...
  1. I plan to contact the loan folks to get the $10K debt forgiveness (but that's not likely to happen due to the litigation).
  2. Request forgiveness due to a change in circumstances, namely my wife "graduating" from hospice but needing home care that I pay cash out-of-pocket.
  3. Set up the Roth IRA for automatic payments as a fallback.
So I made progress on #3. I have the form that's needed to request monthly transfers out of the Roth IRA and into my checking account. I expect setting up the automatic payment to the loan will be pretty easy. The only problem is that the loan amount exceeds the balance in my Roth IRA! And it was supposed to be used for my retirement!

Anyway, nice to see folks from Barbara Sher's message board are still active!
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Default Apr 17, 2023 at 03:19 AM
  #653
Hi SqPeg, always good to see you check back in. Ms. D and I carry on. People drop by for a comment or two and then drift away.

I think the magic of Sher's site was her personality and that people found it after getting excited by a workshop or book of hers. And the exchanges and threads got very involved. I desperately began to off load as much as I could beginning about a year before she shut it down. Some of it I found on the wayback machine. The rest is held in our spirits and hearts, and lost in material reality.

The thread I have returned to a couple of times was The Happiness Experiment Happiness Experiement - BarbaraSher.com

About your situation, CMS and the insurance companies are taking a deep look at the Medicare benefit of hospice care, the first time in 40 years it seems. Your story of your wife 'graduating' from hospice might be good for them to wrap their confused heads around. I'm imagining that's overall a good thing as her health has recovered somewhat.

My brothers and I just used home hospice with my mother's end of life hospice care. I'm also using the bereavement benefit, too, that's allowed for family members. Partly because it's there and I'd like a first hand experience of how it might work, and partly from past runs with grief and knowing a periodic place existed to let "it all hang out" was a help as it allowed me to pretend to manage the rest of my time.

Revu2

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Default Apr 20, 2023 at 03:40 AM
  #654
About once a decade I channel or stumble upon a financial idea that seems too good but turns out to be legit. About 7 years ago, I saw that with a remaining mortgage at $120,000, and a second mortgage for $50,000, if we paid down the Main to $50k, and paid off rest of the Main with the 2nd, we could then pay down the remaining $50K very fast using the monthly payment amount we were used to. The remaining time dropped from 22 years to 5, and the minimum payment dropped from $800 for principal and interest on the main, to $160 (interest only) on the 2nd.

The risk was we might need the $70,000 of our retirement savings before we had rebuilt them post payoff. We took the risk, it worked, and now we're building our reserves back.

Here comes a current one. I research and think. I'm not a licensed or otherwise 3rd-party certified financial anything. Read this with that in mind and perform you own due diligence.

When scanning for companies that paid high dividends I found this—an ETF (Exchange Traded Funds) company called YieldMax has launched the first 3 of 15 new ETFs that pay between 50 to 70% per year in dividends, paid monthly. That's not a misprint.

The tickers are OARK (keyed to Kathy Wood's ARKK Innovation ETF), TSLY (keyed to Tesla), and APLY (keyed to Apple and just launched a couple of days ago). More to come. They use Treasury Bonds as collateral for selling call options for income which they then distribute to shareholders.

I've put a little money in and await my first dividend payments to reinvest.

Many of the higher-yield ETFs pay about 12%. Right now, YieldMax share prices are in the mid-teens to $20, they should be closer to $83 to give a 12% dividend. The potential for price appreciate alone is between 4 to 6 times.

Thought I'd share it before the market figured out what they really do and are worth.

Revu2

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Default Apr 20, 2023 at 10:35 AM
  #655
Oh, yay, Square Peg Guy! I'm so glad you remembered us. And congratulations on your wife graduating from hospice. I'm sorry that you had to go through an end -of-life experience, which fortunately had a happy ending.

R, I'm impressed with what you know. When it comes to money, I play it very safe, which investment people would say isn't really all that safe because inflation is eating away, etc. etc. , but it's worked well for me so far.

Me - I think I've solved my insurance problems. It didn't take too many phone calls, and less than an hour on the phone yesterday. It turns out, I used the wrong insurance card, (HMO vs. PPO) Anyway, life is good.
Re writing - I'm at the end stages of my latest book. I think there are no more errors in my work, and I find one on every other page. I don't like social media. That said, I'm entering the world of Facebook. Right now I'm just replying to other people's posts. Next I'll start writing my own posts, and then I'll post about my writing. I found the perfect agent. She's Canadian, and interested in underrepresented voices. This is perfect as one of my main characters is First Nations, and the story takes place in the Yukon. So fingers crossed. I should also say that my writing has improved over time. Of course, I'm nervous, and I'm procrastinating approaching her. So that could be on my to-do list.

Send letter to agent
Write an original post on Facebook.

I hope this isn't too mushy, but, R and Square Peg Guy - I appreciate both of you. R, for being here now, and Square Peg Guy, for helping with "The Molly Chronicles."

I guess that's it for now. Happy stepping!
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Default Apr 20, 2023 at 07:41 PM
  #656
Shadow and I remember Molly fondly!

Since the topic drifted into financial terrain, I'll just mention that the person I spoke to regarding the automatic withdrawals was very helpful. She warned me that they were required to subtract CT withholding tax, even though Roth IRAs are supposed to be tax-free! So there's a form I need to download and specify 0 withholding on and then submit it with the form that requests the payments. Apparently there's a similar thing in VA. The pension of someone who died recently has been reduced for state withholding tax even though the money should transfer to the beneficiary tax free.
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Default Apr 20, 2023 at 07:42 PM
  #657
Oh, and delightful, I'm so glad you're still writing!
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Default Apr 22, 2023 at 06:27 PM
  #658
I still have a couple of pictures of Shadow in my computer. I'm wishing a lot of love, and comfort for you and your wife. And good wishes towards dealing with the student loan.
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Default Apr 26, 2023 at 05:15 AM
  #659
These recent msgs among us Sher alums reminds me to reach out more to my local friends. In the articles, you read that as many people age they have fewer, more select friends. I'm tacking in another direction, I am creating more friends as I age. About 10 years ago I had a short span in which several people close to me died. And I thought, I need more friends!

I think I threaded about it on Barbara's forum. Found it: "Sun Jun 13, 2010 me: I don't know if it's Asperger's Syndrome Lite or what, but I find I need to replenish my storehouse of friends. My theme song: "Friends" by the Divine Miss M, Bette Midler."

For 2023, my codename for this is Project Oasis, because friends are a social oasis as I caravan through life. With friends I am renewed and refreshed, challenged, supported, and SEEN and HEARD. I echo back the same, and we part ready to take on the Others.

“I would rather walk with a friend in the dark, than alone in the light.”
― Helen Keller

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Default Apr 27, 2023 at 01:34 PM
  #660
Your last post rings true, R. I have had three close adult friends, and they all died. I have some good friends now, but not the kind that I can share all my deep secrets with.
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