A few Measly Steps a Day

Hi, got a notice today that PP has ruled "in my favor" and I can expect my refund to land in my account in a few days. Success!

My health is sundering, might be a mild case of covid (just got my booster on Thursday) as my partner tested pos. a couple of days ago. I tested negative, then, but here I am feeling achy and blahhy.

Quarantined according to the new, shorter CDC times.

Revu2

Congratulations on your refund!

I hope you don't have covid. But if you do, I hope you have a speedy recovery. The boosters are fully protective after 2 weeks from the shot, so if you get infected before then, that is because the booster didn't have time to strengthen to full capacity.

Sometimes the tests will appear negative within a certain amount of days of being infected, so you could try to get tested again just to be sure.

(((safe hugs)))

We're snowed in plus C-tests are in very limited supply. Not leaving the home, so I'll just have to ride this out.

Just checked my bank balance. PayPal refund is there! Case Closed.

Congrats on the refund!

I'm sorry you're snowed in though.

The C-tests are very hard to find since everyone stockpiled them for things like travel and attending multiple people's homes for the holidays and attending events like NYE parties and other festivities, Sadly, the ones who don't vaccine or mask may not even care to use the tests when they go about their business, so it's mainly those of us who are health-conscious.

I'm indoors all the time for NYE anyways. There are too many drunk drivers, rapists, muggers, strong-armed robberies, burglaries, domestic violence issues, intimate partner violence issues, and other violence reported around this time, which is why I've historically remained indoors. The only exception were the rare times I had felt safe around a group of friends who invited me out, but it's been over a decade since that happened. And I'm not about to risk everything during a pandemic. I'd much rather watch different events online and join in with the rest of us lonely ones on these forums.

I hope you'll be online here during NYE.

Happy New Year, Measly Steppers! Lurkers, too!

Just wrestling with things like passion, work, duty, luck. Random thoughts. First, in 2020 I achieved a long time goal: helped a client secured our building and land in a transfer from the city. Against the (deep interests) and desires of the Mayor, with the full support of the City Council. Took a year away from politics to recover.

Used the time at home to try my hand with gambling, of sorts. 6th time in my life, maybe charmed, but I exceeded my goal by a good margin.

Now this year. Oy.

1. The govn'r has dropped a major effort to do something with building more homes. This may be a good time to repeal a law limiting cities' powers to keep rents increases within reasonable bounds. [politics]
2. My tour do duty begins on what I call my Better Homes Project. [politics]
3. I'm still a working consultant. Some of the work sucks, some yucks, and some requires pluck.
4. I'm continuing my gaming ways.
5. I'm seeking to play Bridge in person 22 times in 2022.
6. I'm adding a gig for reviewing book drafts (minor honorarium, intensive work)
7. I am rebuilding my friendship network, too.

Several of these have some intensity for the first 98 days (14 weeks) of this year. Looking for mottoes or mantras:

Caretake this moment. Immerse yourself in its particulars. Respond to this person, this challenge, this deed. Quit the evasions. Stop giving yourself needless trouble. It is time to really live; to fully inhabit the situation you happen to be in now. You are not some disinterested bystander. Participate. Exert yourself. — Epictetus

In the midst of the storm, I stand serene. ~unknown

Know when to hold em,
Know when to fold em,
Know when to walk away,
Know when to run. ~ The Gambler

Revu2

Just in case anyone needed to see this today...

As you can tell by my absence, I've had a lot going on. R, congrats on your refund, and yuck to catching the virus. I hope you get well quickly. According to powers that be, you won't get it that badly if you've been vaccinated. Hopefully they're right.
SprinkL3, I'm glad your taking care of yourself. And thank you for the kitten. cute cartoon.

Me - I'm having the sewer line to the house replaced. I freaked out when I found how close he put the sewer line to the water. I've talked to several people including a friend of mine who used to be a plumber. Apparently, it's okay the way he did it. So I'm not freaked anymore.
I've heard this before, but the sewer incident really brought it home. Men do not hear women's voices. They're not horrible people, they simply do not hear us. An important piece of information for both genders. As a woman who wants to be heard, I'm thinking that there's a middle ground between being so polite that I'm dismissed and screaming obscenities. I need to find that middle ground.

@delightful - I was just discussing with my therapist yesterday about how my past traumas affect my abilities to connect well with men, the opposite sex to me (a cisgender female). But then there are also societal factors, such as women being ignored, treated as less-than, dealing with ongoing historical traumas (rape culture, discrimination, put-downs, chauvinism, gender-role expectations), and being lied to. It's hard when our kindness or our hormonal composition are seen as weaknesses, as opposed to just who we are as relational beings. Some women can be physically tough, as evidenced by many women in what society would typically consider male-dominant fields (police, military, firefighting, etc.). If you've had a traumatic past, my T says that it's challenging for us to deal with trauma triggers in the form of the people who remind us of our past abusers or perpetrators. The problem is when there are systemic issues at play, such as what you've eluded (or is it alluded?) to. It's understandable that you would see your reaction as "screaming," when it could be any reaction from any human of any gender or nonbinary stance who would feel the same way if their concerns were ignored - esp. safety concerns, such as the sewer being so close to the water.

I'm so sorry you are struggling with all this.

I hope you are able to find ways to feel safer and at peace. Perhaps there might be a solution such as installing a better barrier between the sewer and water pipes, if that's even allowed. I don't know anything about plumbing though.

But there are scientists out there who have stated that even standardized tests for spatial intelligence and otherwise are biased because females are typically not socialized in our families and in schools to be exposed to spatial-building skills. The toys that build such skills are made for boys, for instance. The emphasis on teaching and rewarding certain spatial intelligence, such as that with geometry, engineering, etc., to boys and males, as opposed to females and women or those who are nonbinary and considered "feminine." It's sad that we grow up socialized to be oblivious about plumbing, blueprints, architecture, and other things (like buying cars) that used to require men to assist women with making those decisions, often by silencing us and having a man speak in place of us - even on things like customer service issues. Those times may be long gone, but are they when the very people who are still in those fields treat women as if we're stupid or something.

It irks me that this still continues.

EDIT: The above expressed, I also have met some really kind men who do treat women as equals. I still struggle with my past traumas, but I now know how to differentiate my feelings and fears, for the most part. My T helps me understand why I struggle with those things, and why I'm emotionally in pain at different times. -Perhaps you can relate.

I hope you feel better.

Hi fellow steppers. Getting quite busy again. Got around to discussing raising my fees with my client. She maneuvered to put it on me to "think" about alternatives for a couple of days. Got back today.

Much work to compress in a few days. Seems every motion must fall near it's mark. Using time away from tasks to visualize what I want to do. So far, running smoothly enough.

Sad reading about being "not heard." I didn't feel "heard" when first talking with Amerimark while trying to find out where my stuff was. They heard paypal a lot better. But had the gall to write to claim they never saw the money ... thieves are hard of hearing for sure.

Revu

I ticked a few items off my to-do list today. A good thing. A few of my friends and family have tested positive for COVID. These are people who follow guidelines, don't go out a lot, and have had boosters shots. None of them are seriously ill, which is a good thing. According to my daughter, a doctor who is heavily immersed in dealing with COVID, omicron spreads like crazy, (20 times the cases) but is much less virulent (2 times the hospitalizations) than the previous strains. This makes sense. From my previous bacteriology days, I learned that viruses and bacteria tend to mutate to milder strains. (If they kill their host, their strain dies out.) That seems to be what's happening with omicron.
I'll do a bit more writing, and call it a day.

SprinkL3, I'm glad you added the comment that you've also met some men who do treat you well. I think it's so important to see the good in people. It's so important to give people a chance. It's less stressful than always being on the lookout and expecting insults.

My sewer work is probably just fine (speaking of making snap judgements.) He installed it better than building codes call for. I probably overreacted.

I'm ticking off chores/projects on my to-do list. It feels as if I'll never catch up with the things I need to do, but, one step at a time. I just paid the bill for the sewer line. One more piece of paperwork to go and that project will be completed.

Sometimes writing is a lot of hard work, and sometimes it's fun. Lately it's been fun. Yay!

Hi, R. good wishes for your projects.

Hi steppers, had a decent win yesterday. We presented the work of my client to their peers via Zoom and I composed the slide deck and MC'ed the 'performance.' Funder claimed "it was the best collaborative learning event, ever" and one of our peers noted how the processes we used (which I had a heavy hand in leading) got "his mind whirling" with possibilities.

Gotta get back to other work, allotting myself 2.5 or 3 hours today, just waiting for my mood to say Now! Meanwhile, I'm conducting a side fun research project on poker as a laboratory for dealing with confidence, psychology, philosophy, and even law! ? There's a book in the legal library on how lawyers can learn from poker. I just love my side projects.

Since I'm still coughing, I have some appointments to re-arrange while my symptoms die away. They can't leave fast enough and, yes, they can let the door slam as they go.
Revu2

Congrats R. I hope your cough goes away quickly.

Hello thread. Cough still lingering so I canceled plans to play bridge today to keep up my recovery and to just avoid any awkward moments where I would have to try to debate science I barely can recall about the duration, severity, etc. of COVID.

Meanwhile, I'm looking at a new goals challenge and I don't even have the language yet to search for studies. So, if you have a site or study to share, please help me.

Context: 7 years ago, way back in 2015, I spent my summer and fall doing my solo best to help educate my City Council on the benefits of stepping up and managing rents. This was one of my vague fantasies of when I get beyond 'work' I'd be just the mosquito in a tent on some important change.

I was 'tween work and saw a chance to be of service.

Well, the Council did vote out a Resolution to ask the state to repeal the law that limited it's ability to adjust rent increases across the city. Twice: 4-3 in committee, and 8-1 in the full Council. Big Win.

Now the Governor wants to address housing, and to win that he needs to get the Legislature to go along. Hence, laws will be in play around this very issue. I see that, so do I want to get back in, and if so how?

Here's the thing, From 2017 and still ongoing, I've helped a client face up to the Mayor and secure a property transfer. This is my legacy.

At the pure motive level it's a huge win for me: I set out to make a change and I have.

Can I let go of the original motive around rents?

I'm divided. I know things and hold a perspective that few others in the public sphere share. Yet, I won big on something like it. As an activist, I've serve and served and served. I'm up to get super busy on condo stuff, and I'm exhausted from the endless spirals of dialectics which is politics.

Yet, nudging this will help millions of people live more stable and secure lives. And it'll definitely inject a dose of fairness into the cruel steamroller called capitalism.

Yet if I were too ill or dead ....

Oy vey, R.

Joining the Fray; Fraying the Join

Wrestling with this "join in" or "pass" back n forth. Felt an uprush of sensation in my chest which with quiet reflection traced back to my childhood. It's an accidental feeling, some random bodily surprise which has connected itself to "motivation," "advocacy," and "making changes." ... more
[to keep this to reasonable length, and because it's less a step and more a reset, I'm continuing my 3+ days of reflection over on my Warmup thread.]

I think the world is a better place because you're in it, R. Obviously, I can't tell you what do about rent control. You can't solve the whole problem single-handedly. You're not Gandhi, Jesus, or MLK. (I don't think.) Still, you can make a difference. The only suggestion I have is to take your thinking out of the emotional sphere and think about the concrete actions you would take if you decided to get involved. Can you do them? What concrete goals do you want to achieve? If you're a praying sort, you could pray about it. Who would be working with you? What would success look like? What would the work look like?
And if you are Gandhi, MLK or Jesus, forget what I just wrote. Anyway, good wishes.

You can get COVID test kits from Amazon. It takes about two weeks to get them. They're not completely accurate, but they' re useful when you're trying to decide whether to lay low or be among people. I figure a neg test, mask, sanitizer, no fever, and feeling well and I've done due diligence.

Most of my battles are mundane - home repair, health, finding a new primary-care doctor.
Writing - It took me ten years to write my first novel, and when i re-read it eight years later, I hated it. It took me six years to write my second one, and I liked it better. It's going to take me less than two years to write the third one, and I hope it's good. So that's progress. Yay!

Hi thread, Thanks D. for your take on this. As you can tell, I've run the steps and actions before in 2015. All doable, but at what costs to my other priorities? I wouldn't want to disappoint myself and anyone I connect with and get in "over my head" and heart and quit. Maybe better not to start?

So, I'm still imagining where I might have a somewhat manageable role. The difficulty when I step away from my "studio" where I write and dream alone as I wish, is other people. The engaged ones are partisan— take a side—and I'm working from the apparent "weaker" one.

To paraphrase a military maxim: no plan survives contact with other people. Some of those people are willfully hostile and happily mis-educated and also in places where they can make decisions (legislatures). The "cruel rules" of capitalism have been well burnished by the economic academics so there's the amazing wordy work of unpacking both the ideas and the lopsided advantages they give. They don't want to engage their moral and compassionate imaginations because truly connecting with the pain capitalism thrives on right in front of the and into their wallets would mean change—they may have to accept new social arrangements and let go of some the wealth that flows to them seemingly by the magic of the "invisible hand."

Around and around.

Good wishes finding a manageable role, R.

Me - I'm just fixing broken things, one thing at a time.

Poker & Life Choices

A choice about time is a choice about living. I've been reading a lot of the poker literature, and unlike chess lit, there are very few hands picked over. Mostly it's about mental stuff; understanding the odds, various strategies, psychology, bluffing, and chip stack management.

I've looked into "folding" a little and this is a metaphor for what I face with my rent certainty decision. My chips are my time and attention. The other players are the mysterious "public citizens," journalist, activists, & lawmakers. If I were the "dealer" and could pick the game, I'd say let's play "repeal and replace" the state cap on local authority.

Turns out, very very few seem to want to play as I've been calling this game since 2015. 6 years.

I'm folding. What's more, "I'm done. Cashing in my chips."

Now I have all this stuff from my previous playing: letters, diagrams, analyses, links to good stuff on this idea from Europe.

As I 'degoal' rent certainty, what minimum posts can I leave online for others to stumble upon or I can direct them to? What if I put up my ultimate diagram (one pager, based on one from Ireland)? 2. My last letter about the state situation from 2018? 3. Resources links (10 max)?

4. Leave a note withdrawing from my efforts to "sit at the table"? Could I do that and transition from "folding" to "quitting" and here are my tools. From here on I'm with you in spirit but not devoting any more time?

5. Or should I not bother until I'm directly asked? This options is out as I don't want to re-engage (look up musty digital folders, make a set of attachments, etc.)

Having this thread to reflect on this has been very helpful. Thanks for lending me your minds & hearts.

Revu2

That's a hard question to answer, R. I'm not sure you expect a reply since you know so much more about the problem than I do. If you do want my thoughts, here they are. And I feel like a kindergartener giving advice about nuclear physics. As I understand it, you have a lot of great information, and you don't it to disappear. Stash it in one place, maybe your blog. then look for groups working on rent control and post on their website that there's great information at _______. Then let it go.

Me - a question. If I reply to a tweet, do I reply to just one person or to everyone that he/she sent the original tweet to? I want to reply all.