A few Measly Steps a Day

HI, You two,

Ah retirement and free time - a two-edged sword. As a member of the retired ones for over twenty years (wow - that long!) I struggled with the problem of what to do with all that time. Loafing is definitely part of the answer. I am not you, so your answer will be different from mine, just from reading your posts, I think both of you will do a better job of retirement than I am. My mother-in-law was an ace at retirement. She did a lot of volunteer work, loved her family, painted and had an art studio, ran a bookstore, loafed, and took the trips she'd always wanted to take. (the painting and bookstore were not simultaneous.)

Me - I finished everything on my to-do list. I'm about a quarter of the way into publishing my book (not counting the cover, which my friend has to help me with. ) I changed the part with the bats from impossible to unlikely. A few people will know it's unlikely, and most of them are my internet friends to whom I've shared my problems. There is also the possibility that I'll end up with fifty readers. So no reason to worry about it. I do like to get everything right.
My shoulder is better, and I made a start on my housekeeping, but I put off a lot of housekeeping chores in favor of publishing and nursing the shoulder.

I hope you're done being depressed, SPG. If not, l'll just say you have company. Maybe a long walk today . . . I think if I get the writing part of publishing done, I'll cheer up. And then I'll try to not call my friend over and over asking when she can work on the cover. (She can't do it until I finish the writing part because she needs to know the exact thickness of the spine in order to know the exact size of the finished cover.

Good wishes to all of us.

Howdy,

Endings that I intend,
and endings which upend.

Part of Medicare's home hospice benefit is bereavement support for a year. I played that card, and deflected being sent to a group to working with a Chaplin over 10 months, meeting once a month. I followed the same process as I had with my dead mom—composing a 2 page letter made of an article or blog on a virtue or character trait and a hand full of quotes found on goodreads related to the same theme.

We had one last "close out" session due for October (my mom's birth month). First she moved the date because she would be on vacation. Just before the reset date, she texted me that "something had come up" and she would need to rebook again. Then nothing for the rest of that week. I sent an text and email with possible new times and still nothing. Silence.

So, today, I'm declaring it's over. I did this process 68 times with my mom and 9 times with the Chaplin. Good run.

I like this quote:

Grief is love's souvenir. It's our proof that we once loved. Grief is the receipt we wave in the air that says to the world: Look! Love was once mine. I love well. Here is my proof that I paid the price. ― Glennon Doyle Melton, Love Warrior

Thanks for that tidbit of info!

Excuse my math. I've only been retired for fifteen years. Still, it seems like a long time.

This was supposed to be in response to Revu2's explanation of chiasmus. But somehow I missed the posts that came after.

Thank you! I'm doing pretty well considering that it's the cruelest month. I'm putting a lot into combating it: High Intensity Light; CBT & mindfulness; regular sleep; resumed breakfast; meds.

But it was such an oddball kind of day yesterday that I completely forgot about the appointment I had with the therapist!

Hi,
I'm feeling resistance demons. I'm close to getting the book published,, and I'm having trouble doing the work. I got a bad Pubby review, and it's giving me self-doubts. I just finished "The Lincoln Highway." The writing is REALLY good. I know better than to compare myself with the best, but that's what I'm doing, and finding myself lacking. I have to admit it, for me, external gratification makes a difference.

Happy thanksgiving, if I don't post anything more before Thursday.

Happy Thanksgiving to you, too, and to Revu2

Hi All. Back to our usual T-Day routine of buying a roasted duck in Chinatown and bringing it home. The place jumps with activity for take-away, and inside a family sat at one of the big round tables having a great time.

Watching your back n forth about depression. I'm sending energies for your recovery and that the weighty moods lifts. It's not a hay ride. I know through personal experience.

D, about comparing yourself to others. I've attended panels on this very topic at writer conferences. You're right, try not to. It's also hard to not do.

My own attentions are on very small things. Really fresh to have a run of maybe 5 days where I have no pressing matters to address.

With my retirement looming, we are making travel plans for next year. I hope the trips make us as happy as the planning does. This from research that the planning of a trip is the happiest part. I guess because planning doesn't have the knocks of travel like lost luggage, the rental car model you reserved being "sold out" or noisy ice makers right next to your door.

Erma Bombeck, of course, got it right ... and I'm going to have some fun searching for her post on summer camping with the family.

HI, R,
I assume you've read Erma's book, "When You Look Like Your Passport Photo, It's Time To Go Home." Back when I worked, we had a secretary who had accrued a lot of vacation days. (At the county, the longer you worked there, the more vacation you got each year.) She and her husband spent the whole year planning their trip, and then went on their vacation. She said, the planning was as much fun as the trip.
So, have fun.

Quote:

Originally Posted by delightful HI, R, I assume you've read Erma's book, "When You Look Like Your Passport Photo, It's Time To Go Home."

Haven't read it. Stumbled across the column I'm looking for online while hunting down per mother's day piece "When God Created Mothers."

Nothing urgent, and like the poem Ithaca by Cavafy, I'm aware enough to enjoy the journey of the search.

Keep Ithaka always in your mind.
Arriving there is what you’re destined for.
But don’t hurry the journey at all.

Hi R, glad you have something to look forward to next year! If you book airfare and accommodations, I'm thinking it's better to deal direct with the airline and hotel rather than use a third-party. It seems my daughter was charged both by Flighthub and the airline for the same tickets. Plus Flighthub threw in an extra charge of $79 for ... IDK. Perhaps this was just an outcome of a hectic Thanksgiving season. The flight is for the first week in January; maybe it'll be resolved next week.

My biggie - I uploaded the text of "Refuge and Warm Tea" to the Kindle publishing - app - system - whatever. My friend Terry said she'd help with the cover. Yay!

I'm trying to make friends with the digital age. I haven't succeeded yet. I can see the advantage, and I know that if I deal with a computer and not a receptionist, the system's medical cost goes down, and (trickle down theory) my cost goes down - sort of. I do know insurance companies and medical groups took a big hit financially in 2020. Did I tell you about my experience with Xfinity's robots? They texted me telling me there's a problem with my wifi, and to press 1 to get a tech to come out and fix it. When I pressed 1, the robot didn't understand me. A human Xfinity tech told me that the call was legit. Also, a neighbor down the street had no wifi and got the same message.

Also, I'm thankful for being able to publish a book (actually five books,) and I couldn't do this without the digital age.

Also, I wouldn't be talking to you two or my writer friends in Wales and Canada without the internet.

Hi threaders. D, I think you're going about befriending the World Wide Web in a mindful way. There's a bunch of high schoolers in NY city who call themselves the Luddite Society (hm, unassigned reading?). They all own flip phones (for safety ... there are no pay phones anymore) and meet on Sunday in an open area of a park in Brooklyn to talk, lie about in hammocks, and read books!

I finally resolved the customer service challenge I've had with Morgan Stanley. Plus, we gave away a terrific Duxiana bed we had no luck selling. At least we gave it to someone we believe will appreciate it.

Plus, in a surprise twist, we were gifted a 21# turkey today! Not frozen, so we made up a rub, put it on a rack and baked it for over 4 hours. Appreciating our fridge because we managed to fit it in!

Gifted a bunch of other foods that we don't eat, so we're taking them to the food bank.

Well, then, I'm glad we have the Internet! And that you've been able to publish five books, too!

I had to look up "luddite." Yes, there's more than a little luddite in me. I have friends who have never used a computer, a tablet or a smart phone. I think I'm lucky that I used to publish a newsletter back when I worked for a living. I did a lot of swearing every time I had to learn a new program. But it gave me a boost into the digital age. And I learned enough that I can deal with. "For your convenience, we've upgraded . . . " etc. It does worry me that there may come a time when you can't get a human to help you, and I'll be stuck. it also worries me that people rely more and more on someone else (or something else) doing all the thinking for them. I worry about someone at the top of the technology ladder deciding that he/she wants to take over the world.

On a different note, R, that's great that you were able to give away something you didn't need to someone who needed it. Good feeling, right?

I am going to try to find out if my insurance was billed for some lab tests. I have two insurances at the moment. I plan to drop Health Net, and go with United Health Care, but I want to make sure that I have correctly signed up for it and that they will take care of their portion of my medical expenses. As in why am I getting billed for the lab tests? This is why I'm a luddite.

Good wishes to you both.

Insurance co is okay.

Quote:

Originally Posted by delightful R, that's great that you were able to give away something you didn't need to someone who needed it. Good feeling, right?

Eh, yes feels good that it's out of our way. We'd hope to sell it but either scam artists tried to wrangle our personal information (for a "cashier's check") or someone's seemingly legit scheme to get it got way too complicated (flying in from SF CA and renting a truck to drive back).

We paid $4500 for the bed and frame. Had hoped to recover some of that, tho from the insurance adjuster sites they would say that it's only worth 10% of original value at this age. Sold the frame separately for $140.

We have the space back, yes!, and now a wicker backed rocker we paid $1600 to restore can be unpacked and reassembled. Likely some time this weekend.

I'm booked for an interesting workshop tomorrow: co-incidences at the time of major life transitions. I'll let ya'll know how it goes and what new co-incidences it opens me up to.

That workshop sounds interesting; I hope you get a lot out of it, Revu2

I've heard something vague about patients with two health insurance policies. For example, which policy pays the claim first? And how much will the second insurance pay, if anything? The order in which the insurance companies process a claim can lead to different results.

My daughter is aging out of my employer's plan this year. Now she's on the hook to pay her own way (since her substitute teaching job doesn't provide that benefit) along with paying for the car, rent, food, and so on. Ugh.

Thanksgiving leftovers are all gone as of about two hours ago.

The subject line references the title for a book by Bruce Feiler (goodreads take) I think I will get as much out of the comments and reviews as from reading the book.

Afterwards, I felt nudged to connect with someone who might be a big help. I watch stocks and Exchange Traded Funds, and when enough things align I make a trade. It's hard to do while working as markets are open at exactly the same times when I'm needed for work. Who set that up?

Anyhow, I've had good success with biomedical companies working their way through the clinical trials. I once served on an institutional review board for over a year. I'm weakest in the science. BUT, just happens a friend is an oncology nurse on break from the rigors of clinical work. So I approached her for support reviewing the science. She agreed.

Also, just this week workflowy, a site used for planning, organizing, and "second brain" memory, asked for beta testers for something they call Fractal Conversations. We made a pitch.

Excited to adventure with her and see what we discover and if we are picked to try out FC.

Did you get any interesting insights from the coincidence workshop? I'm also interested. I suspect that the big issue with coincidence is whether we notice it or not.
I uploaded the text of "Refuge and Warm Tea" onto the Kindle publisher. Next I need to upload the cover art. (I hope I didn't already post all this.) I bought a photo of a young moose in the snow, wrote the trailer for the back, and my friend is making the cover. Another friend suggested making the cover the inside of a log cabin with a window that looks out onto the moose in the snow. (That may be too difficult.) Meanwhile I have the lazies. I started editing (again) "Through Unfamiliar Waters" and I got bored. I hope I figure out a productive way to spend the next 24 hrs. Probably chores and a lot of yard work will feature prominently.
Re insurance: I Health Net is my primary insurance. They get billed first. And I couldn't get rid of them until open enrollment which is right now. Next comes Medicare, and then my Medicare supplemental. That doesn't kick in until I pay all the deductible. So two insurances are overkill. My plan is to use only the Medicare supplemental, but I do worry about getting *(!*&*@&^ ed if Medicare gets voted out.

Quote:

Originally Posted by delightful Did you get any interesting insights from the coincidence workshop? I'm also interested. I suspect that the big issue with coincidence is whether we notice it or not.

Yes, the insights shared ran along those lines and stories of setting a clear intention and then quickly being in the right place at the right time. The second part, and practicing acting on seeing the connection being the 3rd part.

Not touched on was the other side: clear intention and doing all you can to make something break open for oneself, and nothing works. Like my own case of 300 plus job applications that netted 2 interviews, and then poof, I'm dropped. Being ghosted by companies which seemed interested only the week before.

I feel your struggles with motivation and get-to-it-ness. Before, when the publishers handled all that stuff, writers could sit about anxious and waiting. Now you get to do it all yourself and at times it's not the fire and spark of the actual writing.

Trudge on, it'll get done and on to the next project.

Hey, I'm out of a lot of decades and so face my 70s. Feeling great, eyes and teeth recently checked and more or less stable.

2 more meetings and my official work life is over. Approaching with extreme caution.

Spending the day at a fancy southern foods restaurant and then to the Korean spa to soak & sauna.

Half price for the birthday kid!

My friend can't do the cover art. So I have to find someone who can, or try to do it myself using their template. I'm nervous about hiring someone, as the last person I hired was a con artist. My physical therapy nightmare was that it was going to hurt like crazy and leave me in worse shape than when I started. That hadn't been my experience. The therapy did hurt a bit, but it was manageable, and I could see benefit from what I was doing. Until yesterday.. My pain level shot up, and when she measured my progress, she said that my range of motion had decreased significantly. i.e. my nightmare therapy experience. Slept poorly. Today, thanks to Tylenol and a roll-on topical anesthetic, I finally feel better. I have six treatments left that the insurance has approved. I doubt that they'll approve more given that great evaluation. (sarcastic comment.)

So, today, add a frowny face to my post.