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Old 10-27-2020, 10:38 AM   #1
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Confused Can't imagine my future, inability to make 'big' decisions, scared I'll choose wrong.

What is wrong with me (F26).
I feel like everyone else makes life look so easy - they just find something that makes them happy and then that's it. For some reason I don't even know what I want from my life. When I was younger, I assumed I wanted marriage and kids etc. and the usual things, because that's what you see around you and expect to happen. It was ok to dream about it at the time because it seems a distant thing that would happen 'one day' in the future, so there were no fears about daring to think about it. Now I'm edging towards 30, I feel like the 'future' is here, and I need to hurry up and make some decisions. I have a job that I like, and that could offer potential for a lifelong career. That is all I know. I don't know where I want to live, what kind of relationship I want, if I want kids. This is damaging my current relationship (we're currently discussion whether or not to break up), because she is ready to start making these plans and I just can't make my mind up. I never understand how people can be so 'sure' that they're with the right person, that they can plan to spend the rest of their lives with them. How can you decide something that big that essentially decides the rest of your life? I love my partner but is this a red flag that she's not the right person? Or just that I'm too scared to make plans and therefore getting in my own way? It's not just my relationship though - I feel unable to plan for or commit to anything very far in advance. I feel like you never know what life will throw at you so I'm scared to plan and decide things that may later turn out different. How do I get past this?
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Old 10-28-2020, 06:39 AM   #2
raging vortex
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Default Re: Can't imagine my future, inability to make 'big' decisions, scared I'll choose wr

I don't have an answer for this, but I can defenetly relate

when I was younger (a lot younger) I imagined myself going to school, completing school, compleeting colledge, completing university, then getting a job as a ride engineer at a theme park. that was my life sorted

in that time, I got mental health issues far too early, left school before I even hit senior year, got told that because of the severity of my issues I couldn't work,

Possible trigger:

lost family support, lost most of my friends, developed fibro, and now I dont know what I want.

I am younger than you are (24) and think the same way

like: what do I do. I feel like, at the moment, I've been abandoned without an instruction manual

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