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Old 11-28-2020, 12:34 PM   #11
misterdonut
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Default Re: Dealing with my own racism in a particular sense

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Originally Posted by divine1966 View Post
Have you considered working with a therapist?
Not about this. I feel too guilty about it. I've worked with therapists on everything in my life, but this is something I feel too ashamed about. That's why I came here. I don't use this username anywhere else, it provides adequate anonymity, though I worry about how others may view me now on here because I've shared this "publicly".
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Old 11-28-2020, 12:39 PM   #12
misterdonut
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Default Re: Dealing with my own racism in a particular sense

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Originally Posted by divine1966 View Post
I do understand people having preferences and choices and everyone has rights to date whoever they choose. Like if you donít want to date people of different cultures, you have rights to not date them. But I do not understand why you care who other people date? Personally I only care about my own preferences. I donít care who other people date. I just donít understand the issue I guess
I don't think you understood what I wrote, it doesn't even seem like you read it; but that's the filter of our biases. I tried to make it very clear that this isn't about logic, or what's actually right. It's pure emotion, our emotions evolved in our ancestors long before our ability to string together logic, thus it's quite powerful.

Everything in life is about competition and don't think that many black men don't revel in the idea that they're sticking it to white men by dating white women. And no, certainly not all, I'm sure many of them are completely pure in their interest in the woman.

And again, I'm here for help. How is your response helping? You're simply criticizing the feelings I'm struggling with, it's counterproductive. Please keep this in mind when responding to people who are struggling. There are many struggles that people have emotionally, that they never talk about because they fear exactly this kind of response you're giving.
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Old 11-28-2020, 12:39 PM   #13
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Default Re: Dealing with my own racism in a particular sense

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Originally Posted by sarahsweets View Post
Sometimes the question is "are you willing to change your beliefs"?
Yes, that's a good point. I'm trying. Thank you.
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Old 11-28-2020, 12:41 PM   #14
misterdonut
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Default Re: Dealing with my own racism in a particular sense

Apparently no one understands my argument about economics though, the very real challenge for men to find a mate that they like, compounded by many factors of competition and how the numbers work out. I think I'll leave my explanations at that, I don't' think I'm going to get much help here, though you've given some helpful perspectives sarahsweets and I appreciate some of the sympathy and understanding that I've received here.
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