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Poohbah
Member Since May 2013
Posts: 1,190
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#1
I went through 13 years of abuse by mental health professionals. There is no available legal or board actions. I tried for several years.
I also sustained years of abuse as a child. All I hear is forgive them and move on with your life. Ok so I stated I forgive each and everyone. I still have horrible flashbacks and memories which brings it all back. I have done EMDR, meditation and mindfulness. I have done hypnotherapy etc. nothing stops above. I have sleep problems because of the things and have been sleep deprived for 10+ years. I have been to sleep disorder clinics. I am asking “step by step guide” on how to forgive people so I can at the age of 70 have a peaceful life? Any help is greatly appreciated. |
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SprinkL3
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Magnate
Member Since Jan 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 2,456
11 86 hugs
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#2
You can forgive but not forget. Your problem is forgetting. You have forgiven them. But the memories make you feel like you haven't. Forgive yourself for remembering. And when a bad memory comes try to release it and think of something good in its place.
__________________ Son: 14, 12/15/2009 R.I.P. Daughter: 20 Diagnosis: Bipolar with Psychosis. Latuda 100 mgs. |
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Elder
Member Since Jan 2010
Location: Where? US
Posts: 5,621
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#3
Think of forgiving as change. If you feel safe to, ask yourself, after going through many options, did I attempt something over and over for at least a year? Sometimes we try for a little time, like a month. And other times we need more repetition to rep more benefits. And the more benefits helps us to move on, and become whole.
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Account Suspended
Member Since Oct 2021
Location: DELETED
Posts: 2,752
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#4
Quote:
There's another book that might also help you understand forgiveness from a Jewish perspective. This, too, could help explain the limits and struggles with the concept of forgiveness. I'm agnostic. I've been hurt by too many religious people - Christians and otherwise. My negative feelings toward religion notwithstanding, I see some benefit to the two books I mentioned above. You might want to start there and then do some research on your own to find your own path, your own spiritual healing. When I was in a trauma treatment center, they had one module for spiritual healing. It basically entailed our own reinventing of our own spirituality - without any rules or organized religion. It was a way to break free from past cultish indoctrinations, past ritual abuses, past spiritual abuses, and more. I was also hurt deeply by therapy in the past. I was at my end for a while there with therapy. But then I stumbled upon a really good therapist who helped me to heal from past bad therapies. She validated me, and she worked with me and all aspects/parts of me - even the dark and emotional parts of me. It's not easy finding a therapist to help you, and it's certainly not easy to trust anyone. I still don't. But I trust enough, and that's a start for me. Your start will be at your own pace. You can choose pastoral counseling, or peer support groups, or some other path you feel safest with. The point is that you find your way, so that no one is dictating to you about what you should or shouldn't believe, etc. You find your path. You need not forgive to heal, IMHO. You can process your true emotions with safe others, and you can release your deepest pains to a therapist or someone you trust, like a friend, a significant other, a group, or a pastoral counselor. Over time, you can see your release of your pain being validated and heard, being processed in a way that gives you space to feel emotions you didn't think were there. I don't have all the answers - or any answers for that matter. I just have friendly suggestions, as I'm still struggling with my healing journey. Hang in there. |
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