Getting back into a functional life

I am an introvert and I want to stay in. But the pandemic and working from home has done a number on me.

When I was younger I was so focused. I remember Friday nights I would come home, have a cup of coffee.. and work from 6-10 on cleaning and finances. I actually looked forward to it. I had organized folders and bought books...

Now, I am a mess. I pay bills as needed and usually at the last second and I feel like I have such a ton of things to do.. I don't even feel like it anymore. I just want to sit around and watch tv or play on the computer.

Anyone have any experience getting back to a life that isn't just sitting watching tv? I feel like I have lost goals.

@NatalieJastrow I am sorry you are not feeling as motivated as you once were.

When I have been in pain or depressed it is easier to do mindless things. Sometimes my diet reinforced those feelings so when I changed to a high protein low carb diet I had less mood swings. I also find exercise helps my energy levels. Adrienne complete beginner yoga or five minute tai chi are easy no strain exercises that get my energy going.

What I do is make a list of what needs to be done and prioritize the list. I don't get everything done but I do the highest priority first.

Not sure what will work with you.Setting limits on TV or computer might help. Maybe looking at what emotion or experience is controlling your activities. Usually I find some wounded part of me that wants attention and when I give it that attention it is less controlling of me.

CANDC

[If you want me to see your reply to this post please include @CANDC in your message - not in requoting my message]

You might want to look up "How to set SMART goals", and be sure to reward yourself once you've accomplished something.

There are also 2 books: "Tiny Habits" and "Atomic Habits". You could try getting them through the library or order secondhand copies through abebooks.com .

Thanks... I didn't find Atomic Habits to be motivating. Though I got some ideas from it.

I just feel like there are no goals once you get over like 50 years old. I need some sort of structure and goals.

I'm over 50, and I find I have to go into denial about it to some extent, so as to cultivate myself still and reinvent myself.

Perhaps having a vision board would help you... stimulate your creativity and ability to dream again...

Yes, exactly this. But I do have a full time job and I'm my wife's caregiver and I take care of 3 cats and a dog.

I also did not like Atomic Habits and found the author's voice and attitude (on audio) irritating, but I loved Tiny Habits. I read it, listened to it, and did many free one-week-long programs run over email by certified Tiny Habits practitioners. Let Tiny Habits change your life

Note that the guy who wrote Tiny Habits is a researcher who runs a psychology lab, but, I think, not so for the author of Atomic Habits who pretty much presents his beliefs.

Paying bills. This is how I have been doing it for several years which is actually enjoyable.

I have a Google sheet called Finances. It is bookmarked in my Chrome browser.

I actually use several bank accounts because in the past I took advantage of offers to open a new bank account, directly deposit certain amounts into it for a couple of months, and get paid something, say $300 (which is reported as interest earnings to IRS so is taxable, but still, free money). My paycheck is directly deposited into several accounts. The main one is Wells Fargo which gets the bulk of the deposit and it is the only one for which I use an ATM and occasionally take cash. I primarily use cash to pay my cleaning lady who comes infrequently, and, also infrequently, to pay some tips. I write one check per month. The rest is conducted online.

So across the google sheet I have the heading row with columns which represent the bank accounts. And I regularly update the current amounts in the bank accounts in the 2nd row. If you have one account, it will be much easier and you do not need columns across.

Then, I have rows as follows, one underneath another:

rent (1st of the month, from Wells Fargo)
auto loan (5th of the month, from Capital One)
a bunch of credit cards (I use quite a few) - with the DAY of the month when due
a bunch of store cards (not as many as credit cards) - with the DAY of the month when due
auto insurance (payable on the 15th of the month, from BMO account, on auto-pay, fixed amount)
Verizon (payable on the 2nd of the month, from BMO account, on auto-pay, fixed amount)
PG&E (payable on the 4th of the month, from Wells Fargo, variable amount)
Xfinity (on the 18th of the month, from SoFi, fixed amount)
Wells Fargo safety deposit box, payable once a year on the 4th of December, $45
eye brow threading, once a month, via Zelle from Wells Fargo
hair color touch-up, once a month, via Zelle from Wells Fargo
personal trainer, per session (usually once a week), via Zelle from Wells Fargo,
psychotherapist, check, once a month, a varying amount after insurance sends me reimbursement (the only recurring charge I use checks from Wells Fargo for)
cleaning lady cash
cash
Venmo (very occasionally used)
PayPal (very occasionally used)

BALANCE AFTER PAYMENTS

So when my paycheck arrives on the last day of the month, I enter the positive amounts of the balances in the bank accounts and then enter negative amounts for the expected payments: rent, auto loan, Verizon, PG&E.
I then pay those credit cards that are due soon online and enter the negative amounts in the corresponding cells in the Google sheet. If I have a brows or hair color appointment coming up, I enter what I will be paying. If look at the calendar to see how many, roughly, personal training sessions I will have between now and mid-month and enter what I will be expected to pay. The credit cards, I pay them out of different bank accounts, except for Capital One which I use solely to make auto loan installment payments.

So I look at the row
BALANCE AFTER PAYMENTS on the bottom of the Google sheet to make sure I have enough money in each bank account after the payments clear.

Then a few days later I log onto the bank accounts again, see which payments have cleared, delete those entries from the Google sheet, and update the current balances in the top row of the Google sheet, again looking at the bottom row of balances after upcoming payments to make sure this row has positive values.

Then when I get paid mid-month, I enter the balances and expected mid-month payments: Xfinity + auto insurance, and also those credit cards that are coming up, and, if I have appointments coming up, and, what I expect to pay the personal trainer until the end of the month.

This whole thing takes some time but in the years that I have used it, I have never bounced a payment. And before that, I would get repeated overdrafts. It used to be a big problem for me which is now completely solved.

For PG&E: I receive emails from them each month with the amount of that month's bill payable next month. I enter that amount into the Google sheet.

I hope some of the ^ is helpful for you. The key is to be proactive, to expect expenses and not wait until the last moment.