Desensitization Procedure

I just read chapter 12. Has anyone had success doing this? Is there a down side to desensitizating yourself? I'm faced with a situation where I know I am going to become very triggered. I am trying to figure out how to approach preparing for this situation. Are there times when you should just allow yourself to be triggered and experience the anxiety, fear, body memories as they come?

I guess I don't understand when you are supposed to work on turning down the sensitivity dial or leave it alone and just allow yourself to be overwhelmed.

In the end which approach leads to lasting healing.

Oh it surely does work, but it's better if you don't do it alone.

Many ppl go way too fast in this. If you are really triggered, then you need to begin just thinking about the situation and how safe you are thinking about it...

You can always do flooding, which is a close encounter rapidly, but you really need someone who knows what they're doing to walk you through that (if you're ready at all for it) because you can be retraumatized.

The desentization comes as a result of your becoming used to each step of the process... thinking, talking about it maybe, visualizing, viewing actual from a distance, touching, etc whatever the triggering aspect is... you stay at each level until you don't feel unbearable fear etc. Then move on to the next level (closer, more vivid etc.) That IS the work.

Feeling safe is key, good self talk, rational talk, creating a new perspective... while experiencing the uneasy feelings.

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Thanks,
I think I have the thinking, planning, visualizing, and talking (well not talking but journaling) parts down. even been doing a lot of rational talking to myself. I think I need to get up the nerve to attempt the final phase of doing...

This is really weird but earlier this I year had gone through some tough therapy sessions and had started having nightmares and would wake up in the middle of the night in a panic. One morning after about 2 weeks of this, as I drifted awake I realized that in my sleep I had been sort of repeatedly mentally triggering and then settling myself. It was like my brain was practicing calming myself in my sleep (or partially sleep state). What ever it was doing it worked because later that day my H wanted a close encounter and I was able to deal with it better. Over the following few days the nightmares gradually subsided. I wish I could figure out what my brain was doing that morning and consciously repeat it when I need to. Have you ever heard of people desensitizing themselves while they sleep?

Pretty kewl eh? Yes, that is one of the reasons sleep is so important! The brain continues to work on processing the day's thoughts and activities etc., while we sleep at night. It's when we are overwhelmed that the nightmares and such come... but generally we don't even realize it's working while we sleep.

There are more than one part of "final" phase I think. If it's an object/activity (such as elevator use) then you physically go and look at it as the next level, until you're ok with that. Then you might go up and hit the button, then maybe get on and right back off... see?

You can do this, just go slowly enough so you don't freak yourself out over any part of it.

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Thanks, that makes me feel better about my sleep rehearsal! I thought I was somehow just torturing myself in my sleep. It would have helped me a lot back in Feb and Mar when I was having nightmares and hypersensitivity if I knew my reactions to stuff was somewhat common, maybe even expected. Instead I assumed that I was just being a freak and generating more anxiety subconsciously to increase my mental misery and somehow got lucky and it ended up helping me.... Hey, just realized... I'm paranoid of myself... LOL!

I think I have the perseverance, motivation, and discipline to push myself through this discomfort and not allow it to hold me back from something that will affect my career. My kid and my career are to things that I am willing endure a lot for. Or at least that is what I am telling myself (my rational self talk )

Sky_ just a side note:
You've written a few things this past week that have been so simple, but just reading them, has been so helpful to me. These comments not only were effective in immediately lower my stress level but also help me later realize other stuff too. I think if I was actually doing a good job of expressing what I am experiencing to my T, she would tell me similar things without having to suffer in silence for 4 months. My behavior is really inhibiting my progress and increasing my suffering. In need to continue working on this.

Thank you

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Sky_ just a side note:
You've written a few things this past week that have been so simple, but just reading them, has been so helpful to me. These comments not only were effective in immediately lower my stress level but also help me later realize other stuff too. I think if I was actually doing a good job of expressing what I am experiencing to my T, she would tell me similar things without having to suffer in silence for 4 months. My behavior is really inhibiting my progress and increasing my suffering. In need to continue working on this.

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Thank you very much for kind words! I often debate whether to post basic information that I'm sure has been posted before someplace... or to find that place and link to it... I decided that members here at PC are often already overwhelmed and don't do well pulling old threads. I appreciate your thanks.

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I had some success doing this. I always was reluctant but a year or two ago i finally decided id try. I have social anxiety so for me i worry about being around people. I started very slow and then one day i made myself go in to target when it was very slow. Every week before therapy(just in case it went bad) id make myself go in. I often rewarded myself for doing it by buying something, somehow i think the greed helped me focus on something else. After several months of this(i went slow) i made myself go into target the day after thanksgiving(REALLY busy) at 8am. It went well and i felt really good about it. The part i messed up i think is i didnt keep going and move on to other social situations. I felt like i won and stopped hehe. If i ever try this again at least i know where i went wrong the first time.

Ouch... So Shaymus the lesson you learned is small progressive steps. Maybe you could restart the process again and try wearing one of your outfits to Target during a slow time.

I'm trying to learn as much about the environment I'll be in and how the classes are going to be conducted. For me I am hoping that by being over prepared, I will be able to tolerate things better.

Has anyone tried and had success with a more streamlined relaxation technique? I can't seem to sit still long enough to do the deep muscle relaxation technique. I get though the upper extremity and face and then feel like I am wasting valuable time and have to get up and do something else. Mediation... same thing unless I do a really hard workout before hand and am too fatigue to physically move.

I can't do the typical relaxation techniques because my muscles spasm when tightened, rather than tighten and relax. (Chronic myofascial pain syndrome.)

I don't do the tightening.... I'll try to post this weekend on a routine I just KNOW I have in a book somewhere here... (Sky says, looking around ..)

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Thanks...

MFPS... sound like you could benefit from a good deep tissue massage

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Sky said:
Oh it surely does work, but it's better if you don't do it alone.

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I was just reviewing the info in this thread, trying to figure out what my next step is going to be and saw this comment. What did you really mean here? Are you recommending I bring a friend to hold my hand? I don't think I could do this.

The flooding comment also was interesting. Would this work like a purging process? You go get overwhelmed then realize later that your fear was all just mental hype and then you are fine. I'm envisioning it kind of like getting dunked in the pool as a way of getting over the fear of going underwater. Is this what flooding is like? This seems like it would be more effective in dealing with the physical aspects of a trigger not the emotional aspect. In my mind It is one thing dealing with the physical sensation of holding your breath and going under the water, but another thing dealing the memory and fear of being held underwater.. I don't know...I'm just trying to imagine and consider the different options.

It is best if you have a therapist with you, or at least ready to receive a phone call?

Flooding is a type of desensitization in that if you do it over and over, supposedly you will become callous to it and it won't bother you any more. But this needs some expert guidance because for some it can retraumatize you.

The idea of being held under water is not an easy thing to work through. Not only are you trying not to suffocate, and feeling some claustrophobia, but you also have the problem with someone having control over you. That's a lot different than say figuring out if an elevator is safe enough to ride a floor or two.

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Thanks again for answering my questions. It is obvious that I am a bit clueless about this topic. As much as I want to keep this issue to myself, I have to admit that it is adversely affecting both my private and professional life. I think I am just trying to get mentally prepared to broach this topic seriously with my T on Tuesday. Its come up a few times but I don't allow the conversation to stay on it very long.

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It is best if you have a therapist with you, or at least ready to receive a phone call?

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I don't think my T is into the call me if you have a problem thing.

From what you described, I think I've done my own version of flooding. I don't want to continue doing this.

You comment about the different types of fears was interesting. I was thinking primarily about the physical sensation not about who controls it. This clearly demonstrates my ignorance. I think my fear is more comparable to the water analogy than the elevator analogy... Damn...

I just want to be normal ... to chillout.... and have simple an experience without all kinds of noise running though my head wigging me out and taking days to settle myself back down. I know I am being totally ridiculous. This is why I don't like talking about it in therapy, because I know I am being totally irrational. I need to just stop thinking about it, trying to talk about it, rationalize it, understand it, etc,. and just suck it up, DO IT, and get it over with.

No, you aren't being totally ridiculous. You aren't being ridiculous at all. Disordered thinking and feeling is why you work in therapy.

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I had another nightmare last night about all this. I was lying prone on the table in the middle of class. As the massage started my mind went uncontrollably in to darkness and I couldn't speak to tell the person to stop. Then my body went in to full anxiety mode, hair standing up, hearing/smell/touch amplified, shaking, total muscle rigor. The person just kept going and I still couldn't speak. Then all motor function was lost I was completely paralyzed on the table and nothing but sheer running through my head. When I realized that I completely defenseless I started balling and woke up. I was so freaked out that I couldn't go back to sleep and end up watching George Carlin last night on TV.

I hope this was not some premonition of what is to come and instead some helpful mind processing thing again.

I've been thinking again about the desensitization process. I wonder if focusing on finding ways to prevent a panic attack might actually cause one. Maybe I should instead be focusing accepting it and not freaking out or judging myself when it happens.

Hmmm, this would only make me feel a little better afterward, it wouldn't likely prevent me from jumping off the table. I think I need to continue to work on the relaxation exercises. I find it hard to believe that people can train themselves to do this while actually being trigger. Maybe if they were some Zen monk or something. Heck, I'm struggling with focusing when in the safety of my living room.

I was able to talk with my T about this and the session went a lot better than I expected. She also indicated that I was being totally ridiculous too. She talked to me about EMDR and had me try it once during the session. Told me to try it at home too when memories surface or I am triggered.

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She also indicated that I was being totally ridiculous too

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Did she say this, or are you putting words into her mind, mouth? I'm sorry she didn't validate your genuine feelings.

Is she EMDR certified, and suggested you use tapping to center and calm yourself? Certainly she isn't wanting you to process those memories on your own?

I'm glad the session went better than expected. That's usually what happens.

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She indicated that I wasn't being totally ridiculous.

Sorry Sky I tend to leave ending off my words sometimes.
My T really handled me well yesterday. She really seemed like she understood what I was saying. She also seemed slightly excited that I express this issue. She even said at one point, “You came to the right person.” Which may seem kind of egotistical on her part, but the way she said it wasn’t; it made me feel better. I actually told her about my personal space issues, which I think she has been aware of since the very beginning. It sounds really stupid but one of the things I had pickup on during the 1st few month of therapy was that she always seemed to respect my space and never approached me while I was sitting in her office. When she talked about the EMDR she said that she was well trained in it and gave me a basic explanation of the theory. I don’t know if she is certified, I didn’t know much about this technique until she mentioned it and I look it up on the Internet last night.

The exercise she did with me during the session was kind of an introduction. She said she would usually move closer to me and guide my eye movement with her finger or a pen, but that she would just explain it to me. She didn’t want me to get upset by having someone waving a finger near my face. I appreciated that. She asked me to think of a specific situation in which I get very anxious. Which I did, then had me move though a pattern with my eyes. The only thing that I wasn’t sure about was when she asked me to think of a situation. She seemed to be waiting for me to tell her what I was visualizing. I just said, “OK I have one.” I wasn’t sure if I had to say it and just couldn’t bring myself to say it unnecessarily. I can barely bring myself to write it in my journal at this point. So vocalize it—I don’t think so. She didn’t specifically push and ask me what it was and accepted this and guided me though the exercise.

Does this sound like she is trained? The memory really haunted me last night, but I am OK.