Things to do instead of hurting yourself

There have been some great ideas posted in this forum for coping with the urge without hurting yourself. I was just looking for some of those lists, just to have them (I'm doing ok right now - no worries), and there are some I particularly wanted but I'm not finding them. So I thought maybe it would be nice to have a sticky thread for posting these lists. I'll start it off with a link to a thread where Halliebeth posted a really good list. Hallie's suggestions Hallie, if you would like to re-post that in this thread, that would be great. I just didn't want to re-post something that is yours without permission. Everyone else, whether or not you have posted them before, please add your suggestions here. Thanks!

There is one in particular that I haven't found that was posted by Sweet Crusader, and was not very long, but I think the suggestions had to do with actually addressing what makes you want to si, and it looked like something that would help me a lot. I should have added it to my favorites or something, huh?

Be Safe, Everyone! ((((((hugs)))))))

deep breathing

relaxation techniques

call a friend, your therapist or a crisis line

try not be be alone (visit a friend, go shopping, etc.)

take a hot bath

listen to music

go for a walk

write in a journal

some people find it helpful to draw red lines on themselves with washable markers instead of cutting themselves

hold ice cubes in your hands - the cold causes pain in your hands, but it is not dangerous or harmful (some people find it relieves the urge to harm themselves for that moment)

punching a bed or a pillow (when nothing but a physical outlet for your anger and frustration will work).

scratch draw a picture on a thick piece of wood or use a screw driver and stab at the piece of wood. (can be another physical way to release your emotions without harming yourself.)

avoid temptation (i.e. avoiding the area in CVS where the razor blades are kept, etc.)

try to find your own creative ways as outlets for emotions.

learn to confront others/making your own feelings known instead of keeping them inside

go outside and scream and yell

take up a sport (a form of exercise can help you release tension, etc.)

work with paint, clay, play-doo, etc. (the person who suggested this mentioned that they would make a big sculpture and do whatever they wanted to it. They said it was helpful to calm the urge to self-injure, plus it gave them some idea of what might be underlying the pain.

draw a picture of what or who is making you angry
instead of harming yourself, try massaging the area you want to harm with massage oils or creams, reminding yourself that you are special and you deserve to treat yourself and your body with love and respect

go to church or your place of worship
wear a pipe cleaner or something that will fit on the places that you injure.

break the object that you use to self-injure as a way to show that you have control over it.

write a letter to the person(s) that have hurt you and express how they made you feel. Theses letters do not have to be in perfect form and you do not have to please anyone but yourself. You do not have to give these letters to the people, but it is a great way to release the feelings that you are carrying within. After you write the letters, you can decide then what to do with them. Some people find destroying the letters help (i.e. tear them up, throw them in a lake, etc.)

do some household chores (i.e. cleaning)

do some cooking

try some sewing, crossstitch, etc.

recite a poem, prayer or anything else familiar the comforts you multiple times

write down all your positive points and why you do not deserve to be hurt

write in your journal why you want to hurt yourself and if you have hurt yourself, write down what caused it to happen so in the future you can prevent it from happenings - or find out what your triggers were

Play some kind of musical instrument. Even if you don't really know how to play, picking out tunes is a way to concentrate and help get rid of the urge to harm yourself.

yoga

allow yourself to cry. Getting the tears out can make you feel better. It allows the inside to release, as opposed to self abuse. Picture your "ickies" pouring out as you cry.

Take a shower

write down a word best associated with what you are feeling (i.e. horrible, sad, lonely, angry) and continue to write it down, over and over. Sometimes when you do that, the words looks silly etc., and it puts humor or a smile in your life.

sing a song on what you are feeling. It's another way to get it outside. Shout if you are made, etc. Let the words just come to you.

Scribble on paper. Clutch the pen in your fist. It's a way to diffuse it on to paper. (Get a few sheets so they don't tear.)

Take item you are self injurying with and use it against something else. For example, if you are using a razor blade, rip it across a towel. Sometimes seeing what "can" be done to an object can make a person think twice about using it on themselves. Can also give the feeling of "doing it"...the tangible aspect.

Make a list of reasons why you are going to stop cutting. Every time you get the urge, read the list to remind yourself why you shouldn't. Also remember to put on that list that you do not deserve to hurt yourself. You are important and special and you do not deserve to be hurt.

Concentrate on your breathing - take slow, deep breaths, in through your nose, out through your mouth

Take a bubble bath

Take a shower

Massage your body, put body glitter / fake tattoos / jewellery / henna on your skin. Remind yourself your body is special.

Go for a walk

Listen / dance / sing to positive music

Pay attention to your body - think about how you are moving

Watch some mindless tv / read a book

Do something creative - eg draw, write poetry, play with playdough, practise a musical instrument, sing, do some gardening, write in a diary

Make something (craft, needlework, etc.)

Make a compliation tape. Start with music that expresses your emotion *now*, and work gradually through neutral to positive and upbeat music.

Do something FUN!!!

Make yourself as comfortable as possible - curl up in a chair with soft toys

Touch something familiar/safe

Carry tokens to remind you of peaceful comforting things/people

Create and use mental safe places (beach, cabin in the woods, peaceful mountain)

Repetitive reality checking (It's March 2003, and I'm going to be ok)

Ask yourself how you feel, think about why you feel like that, and write it down

Notice and avoid black and white thinking

Allow yourself to cry

Allow yourself to ask for help and express your feelings.

Use washable red markers to "cut" on your skin

Place your hands in freezing cold water, or hold / suck ice cubes

Wear an elastic band around wrist and snap it when you have the urge to harm yourself

Tear up paper (old phonebooks, newspapers, etc.)

Alternative between cuddling and punching something soft, the bed or a pillow

Plan regular activities for your most difficult time of day

Clean the house

Leave the room

Talk to someone safe - via email, phone, in person - try not to isolate yourself.

Help someone around you (reach out on a bulletin board, newsgroup, phone list etc.)

Go to church or your place of worship; pray or meditate
sources


no worries rap....whats mine is everyones!!!! hope this helps!

Thanks Hallie! These are great!

Anyone else?

i want to add some stuff to the list:

take out Christmas decorations and look at them

hang up a stocking and put some goodies in it for when you dont hurt yourself and after the epissode passes empty the stocking

take a toothbrush and polish and clean all your jewelry

polish something tarnished like a brass lamp and keep buffing until its shiney

theres probably going to be more. . .

oh yeah

get a bog of balloons from dollar store and blow them up till your out of breath and then get a striaght pin and pop them one by one and then do it some more!
I like the loud POP!

AND>. ..
so you will have to vacuume- first you take a bag of confetti from dollar store and throw it all around the room and then you have to vacuum the floor-
and you can use black baloons and black confetti-

make flour dough with flour and salt and water into a lot of balls-
And WHIP them at the mirror and everything because they will fall off easy and not make a mess so you can have doh ball fights all year instead of snow ball fights

another one-
write any kind of foul language on the bathroom mirror with bar soap-
and then clean the bathroom. Also shaving cream and also silly string.

good ideas kat

I particularly like the one about the stocking with goodies in it for when you don't si. I was supposed to think of a way to reward myself for not giving in to it, and I couldn't think of anything that I wouldn't just let myself have anyway.

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deep breathing

relaxation techniques

call a friend, your therapist or a crisis line

try not be be alone (visit a friend, go shopping, etc.)

take a hot bath

listen to music

go for a walk

write in a journal

some people find it helpful to draw red lines on themselves with washable markers instead of cutting themselves

hold ice cubes in your hands - the cold causes pain in your hands, but it is not dangerous or harmful (some people find it relieves the urge to harm themselves for that moment)

punching a bed or a pillow (when nothing but a physical outlet for your anger and frustration will work).

scratch draw a picture on a thick piece of wood or use a screw driver and stab at the piece of wood. (can be another physical way to release your emotions without harming yourself.)

avoid temptation (i.e. avoiding the area in CVS where the razor blades are kept, etc.)

try to find your own creative ways as outlets for emotions.

learn to confront others/making your own feelings known instead of keeping them inside

go outside and scream and yell

take up a sport (a form of exercise can help you release tension, etc.)

work with paint, clay, play-doo, etc. (the person who suggested this mentioned that they would make a big sculpture and do whatever they wanted to it. They said it was helpful to calm the urge to self-injure, plus it gave them some idea of what might be underlying the pain.

draw a picture of what or who is making you angry
instead of harming yourself, try massaging the area you want to harm with massage oils or creams, reminding yourself that you are special and you deserve to treat yourself and your body with love and respect

go to church or your place of worship
wear a pipe cleaner or something that will fit on the places that you injure.

break the object that you use to self-injure as a way to show that you have control over it.

write a letter to the person(s) that have hurt you and express how they made you feel. Theses letters do not have to be in perfect form and you do not have to please anyone but yourself. You do not have to give these letters to the people, but it is a great way to release the feelings that you are carrying within. After you write the letters, you can decide then what to do with them. Some people find destroying the letters help (i.e. tear them up, throw them in a lake, etc.)

do some household chores (i.e. cleaning)

do some cooking

try some sewing, crossstitch, etc.

recite a poem, prayer or anything else familiar the comforts you multiple times

write down all your positive points and why you do not deserve to be hurt

write in your journal why you want to hurt yourself and if you have hurt yourself, write down what caused it to happen so in the future you can prevent it from happenings - or find out what your triggers were

Play some kind of musical instrument. Even if you don't really know how to play, picking out tunes is a way to concentrate and help get rid of the urge to harm yourself.

yoga

allow yourself to cry. Getting the tears out can make you feel better. It allows the inside to release, as opposed to self abuse. Picture your "ickies" pouring out as you cry.

Take a shower

write down a word best associated with what you are feeling (i.e. horrible, sad, lonely, angry) and continue to write it down, over and over. Sometimes when you do that, the words looks silly etc., and it puts humor or a smile in your life.

sing a song on what you are feeling. It's another way to get it outside. Shout if you are made, etc. Let the words just come to you.

Scribble on paper. Clutch the pen in your fist. It's a way to diffuse it on to paper. (Get a few sheets so they don't tear.)

Take item you are self injurying with and use it against something else. For example, if you are using a razor blade, rip it across a towel. Sometimes seeing what "can" be done to an object can make a person think twice about using it on themselves. Can also give the feeling of "doing it"...the tangible aspect.

Make a list of reasons why you are going to stop cutting. Every time you get the urge, read the list to remind yourself why you shouldn't. Also remember to put on that list that you do not deserve to hurt yourself. You are important and special and you do not deserve to be hurt.

Concentrate on your breathing - take slow, deep breaths, in through your nose, out through your mouth

Take a bubble bath

Take a shower

Massage your body, put body glitter / fake tattoos / jewellery / henna on your skin. Remind yourself your body is special.

Go for a walk

Listen / dance / sing to positive music

Pay attention to your body - think about how you are moving

Watch some mindless tv / read a book

Do something creative - eg draw, write poetry, play with playdough, practise a musical instrument, sing, do some gardening, write in a diary

Make something (craft, needlework, etc.)

Make a compliation tape. Start with music that expresses your emotion *now*, and work gradually through neutral to positive and upbeat music.

Do something FUN!!!

Make yourself as comfortable as possible - curl up in a chair with soft toys

Touch something familiar/safe

Carry tokens to remind you of peaceful comforting things/people

Create and use mental safe places (beach, cabin in the woods, peaceful mountain)

Repetitive reality checking (It's March 2003, and I'm going to be ok)

Ask yourself how you feel, think about why you feel like that, and write it down

Notice and avoid black and white thinking

Allow yourself to cry

Allow yourself to ask for help and express your feelings.

Use washable red markers to "cut" on your skin

Place your hands in freezing cold water, or hold / suck ice cubes

Wear an elastic band around wrist and snap it when you have the urge to harm yourself

Tear up paper (old phonebooks, newspapers, etc.)

Alternative between cuddling and punching something soft, the bed or a pillow

Plan regular activities for your most difficult time of day

Clean the house

Leave the room

Talk to someone safe - via email, phone, in person - try not to isolate yourself.

Help someone around you (reach out on a bulletin board, newsgroup, phone list etc.)

Go to church or your place of worship; pray or meditate
sources


no worries rap....whats mine is everyones!!!! hope this helps!

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i like the idea of lotion and oils and such..i also like to hold soft things..keep my hands busy

Angela K,

Thanks for making this thread active again. It was a good review for me. I hope that it helps you too.

Starbright, lotion and oils are good. Sometimes I really need lotion and deliberately don't use it. I struggled with allowing myself to use moisturizer, and rebelled every time someone on one of my email lists said to use moisturizer, but finally was able to do that.

One of the best things for me is to hold my dog or my cat. Although I have several pets, I am blessed with one dog and one cat who each just love being held on my lap, and will stay there as long as I need them to, and they seem pretty sensitive to comforting me, and I feel like they understand when I'm feeling bad, and I don't have to find words to explain it to them. A soft toy animal might not be quite the same, but I have gotten a lot of comfort that way too.

I like something smooth and soft..I think I'm weird. Cause..stuffed animals, and I have a mink blanket and some animal skins..I'll run my hands over the softness and I'm not really thinking of anything..just like that it's soft..if I'm in a bad mood I'd start out pretty hard, but get softer..I'm just strange

I like it when the critters come and get in my face and want attention and I need to give it and smile because they are just too adorable. I love it if I lay still on the couch and they sleep on me. The weight is a comfort. Hallibeth, these are awesome ideas and many are a part of my life. I believe that we can change the behavior and do something that more directly meets our down deep needs. Smell is a place that can comfort or upset me. I love comforting odors. Lavender and wild flower oil are the best but fresh cut Grass is cool too.

always keep yourself perocupied. this is kinda implied in all the others, but you get the idea

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I know a cure for sadness:
Let your hands hold something that makes your eyes smile.
-Mirabai

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from Yoga for Depression by Amy Weintraub

I have found that if I read a book, It helps me a great deal..

I also have started writting poetry again. Which to me is a realease on my own pain..

I hope and pray ever day I do not cut anymore..
I have not for almost six months which is a first for me in a very long time..

Folding clothes... why not?

IT may sound insulting but try this. It's simple. Easy and requires the least bit of physical effort. DONT DO IT!

For real, being a "recovering" self mutilater I have been through the ups and downs of urges and than the regrets. Like a crack addict we suffer from the same affliction. An addiction I call it. Something to release the pain.

What are you supposed to do instead? Be creative. I know what helps me is writing it out word for word what I am doing and how I am doing it and what I am feeling. So the whole mental process is captured on paper and physically there are no cuts for people to gawk at.

If you are desperate and really really want to quit, you should be willing to try anything. Once you get time under your belt (just like in AA) it does get a little easier.

If all else fails, tell yourself that you will do it in ten minutes. Wait ten minutes. If you still feel the urge after the ten minutes give yourself ten more. THIS IS ACTUAL EFFECTIVE. Results vary however. If ten minutes is too long, start with five.

Remember the reasons why you don't want to cut helps to. For example for me, I know that working in a public place in a management postion dealing with people in a small community in the summer time can not support such coping mechanisms.

It does suck though once the thought gets there. It becomes a compulsion. An obsession. But REMEMBER FIRST AND FOREMOST YOU ARE IN CONTROL.

Do you want to be an actor in the play or the director? Life is your script to write. Whether you write your own script or follow another's is up to you. And there are no rewrites.

(((((SPRINKLING LOVE YOUR WAY FROM PURGATORY)))))) Smile! Think differently to get different results. That's where it begins. Or am I wrong?

I

i'm playin doctor. puttin bandaids on cuts that arent there.