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#1
Jun 26, 2009, 05:05 PM
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I'm not sure I ever stop cutting. My T told me I was addicted to cutting and being from a family full of addicts I got so so angry at her and didn't talk to her after that. I don't WANT to stop. I can't do this.
      
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#2
Jun 26, 2009, 05:10 PM
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It is a miracle that I have survived thus far and I strive to help others see miracles in every day life.
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#3
Jun 26, 2009, 07:39 PM
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Right now you just don't know another way and think that you deserve to hurt yourself. It's what you know and if you didn't want to find another way you would not be posting here. It matters to you and that is awesome - yippee for you.  There are so many other people who just cut and live their lives that way never seeking help. So...breathe...and know that you are here with others who understand and are struggling and recovering with it.Suffering for me is as natural as breathing...and it has never occured to me that there could be something else. Cutting is the same way a reaction. If that is what your therapist is telling you then can you take it a step further and together find some ways of working on this? At least for me it's not about the cutting ~ it's the thoughts and feelings that get me there and without even realizing it I am in that dark place. You may not realize it but you did an amazing thing by posting ~ yes, you can find other ways of coping, it just may take some time. |
 cantstopcrying, iheartferrets, phoenix7
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#4
Jun 26, 2009, 07:45 PM
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(((The 1 Forgotten))))
Be good to yourself... You are a beautiful person!!!
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[SIGPIC[/SIGPIC]  Susan
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#5
Jun 26, 2009, 11:32 PM
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Oh angel! I know you are mad and scared and confused. I know you don't want to stop because it's been with you for so long, you've gotten through all you have because you have been able to rely on cutting. It makes you feel better, it gives you control. I know being called an addict is maddening, especially when you do come from a family of addicts of a different kind. I think most of us are addicted to something and it just means we have things--coping techniques--to overcome. Addiction can be good too (think Lost), we just have to be addicted to something healthy. Even if you've told her how very long you've done this, she may not realize the hold you have on it and why. Sweety, you can get mad at her, but think about her words and think about yours...about why you don't want to stop---it's scarey and it's helped you survive, you are probably thinking if this is taken away from, what will I have, how will I get through life, what will I have control over. It can happen, angel, and I believe in you enough to believe you can make it happen. Not over night, certainly, but you can make it happen. You aren't alone, though you feel you are, though you feel you deserve to be. Start slow, honey. I believe in you.
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____________________________________ "We can't talk at the same time! It doesn't work like that! I talk, you talk, I talk, you talk!!" ~ Peanut 
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| phoenix7
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#6
Jun 27, 2009, 11:42 PM
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I don't want to stop. I really do want to cut, that's the thing. I can't stop, it never lasts. I need that pain.
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#7
Jun 28, 2009, 12:43 PM
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First, at least with my experience you won't stop until you decide that you are willing to see if you can get through whatever it is w/o cutting. Every circumstance is different so and that is what I am really learning. It's not that black and white. There are times when something triggers me and I find myself being able to use some of the tools I have and other times when I can't. In one sentence you are saying that you really do want to cut - and the next is it never lasts. So, can you talk to your therapist about the confussion that is going on. I am just talking from experience - I already thought I was going to fail so I never wanted to admit that I was tired of hurting myself. I'm still afraid, but it's taking it once situation at a time and looking at what really triggers me. IT'S TOUGH STUFF!!! |
| phoenix7
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#8
Jun 30, 2009, 08:46 AM
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__________________
____________________________________ "We can't talk at the same time! It doesn't work like that! I talk, you talk, I talk, you talk!!" ~ Peanut
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#9
Jul 02, 2009, 09:25 PM
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I'm losing control of this... And hope. =-(
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#10
Jul 05, 2009, 10:13 AM
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Hang in there baby. Remember what you said last night, when we're together, we are unstoppable. And you are always going to have me to help you through. I promise.
The word addiction is tossed around so easily. Technically, I'm addicted to biting my finger nails  Does that mean I'm not ever going to stop and that my life is therefor ruined? No. Yes, you're mom is addicted to alcohol and pills. And yes, in the technical sense, you are "addicted" to cutting. But I know you can stop. And what's more, is that I know that you can want to stop. And I know that you can stop babe. You and your mom are twp completely separate people. You have made leaps and bounds since I first met you, and I know you can keep making it through. You are such a beautiful and strong person, inside and out. Hang in there babe!:sings 'Don't Stop Believing' in head:  tehe
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This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples. No need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple. The philosophy is kindness. -Dalai Lama   |
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#11
Jul 06, 2009, 05:25 AM
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Next time you want to si............ pick Simon up look him straight in his little ferret eyes and ask him if he wants you to. Then cuddle him close and tell him all the things you need to hun.....
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| the1forgotten
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#12
Jul 19, 2009, 09:14 AM
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Quote:
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____________________________________ "We can't talk at the same time! It doesn't work like that! I talk, you talk, I talk, you talk!!" ~ Peanut
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| the1forgotten
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#13
Jul 19, 2009, 04:40 PM
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Same...a little part of me, though, does want to stop. But yeah. It's MY thing at the moment and I don't want to stop ir.
Hugs!
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| the1forgotten
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#14
Jul 19, 2009, 10:47 PM
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Thanks for the support everyone. I honestly don't know what I want. I just know that this isn't working. I don't know what to do though. Nothing can stop me. Sometimes I don't want to stop. It helps. At least for me it does.
don't know what to do.
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#15
Jul 22, 2009, 07:09 PM
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| the1forgotten
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#16
Jul 23, 2009, 02:46 PM
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Thank you fuzzy!
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