[Indie'sOK]

Today I cut, probably for stupid reasons. I was upset because my mom and I got into an argument, and I was already confused because I was trying to think of what I want to say in T tomorrow. I did it, my mom found it, she made me clean it and show her, then we had another "conversation" about it. Which is really my parents trying to talk to me, while I sit there because I don't want to talk about it. I know I'm probably being a brat about this. So anyway, I told my friend about what happened. He told me not to cut anymore, that it's the last time he's going to tell me to stop. I'm worried I'm going to lose him as a friend. We've known each other for 5 years, and we agree on most things. Except this, of course. I know I can't just stop SIing because someone tells me to, but I don't want to make him mad by telling him this. Has this ever happened to anyone before? I'm worried about losing him.

I put the trigger icon just to be on the safe side, I didn't know if this would trigger anyone.

[Sannah]

Why do you think that he is going to stop being your friend?

[Indie'sOK]

Originally Posted by Sannah

Why do you think that he is going to stop being your friend?

Well, he never actually said those exact words, but by telling me that it was the last time he was going to tell me to stop, it sounded like that's what he meant. His friendship means the world to me, and I don't blame him for not understanding this because I think it's something that only the people who've gone through it could understand. I just want things to be the way they used to be, before I started to SI.

[fallenangel337]

I've definitely lost friends over the issue of cutting. It sucks, but in the end, I learned that if someone would terminate our friendship because of that, their friendship was not worth it to begin with.

Most people don't know how to react to self harm, and most don't understand it enough to even try and react to it properly. Maybe it would be beneficial to sit down with your friend and explain what you can about it, and try to help him understand. If he is a good friend, he will listen to you.

Good luck with this!

[Sannah]

Originally Posted by IndieSoul

but by telling me that it was the last time he was going to tell me to stop, it sounded like that's what he meant.

Or maybe he meant that he is not going to nag you?

I just want things to be the way they used to be, before I started to SI.

This is an understandable wish.........

[Katileena]

In my experience if someone really cares about you they will be able to look past the SI and are quite understanding. However, not everyone can be supportive of such a habit. They know you do it but don't want you to, and don't know how to go from there. So they just tell you to stop because in their minds it makes no sense to cut. They don't realize the addiction of cutting, or the release, or even pleasure you might get out of it. But we all know it's not healthy, we just can't stop on a dime like the people that care about us might like us to do.

I've lost friendships over my cutting...I've lost closeness in friendships as well. Sometimes a person will still be your friend but they distance themselves from you because your SI upsets them...that's what most of my friends did...it makes you feel very alone, but if this happens know the person is not distancing themselves because they don't want to be friends anymore...they just can't deal with the SI. They still care about you.

I hope everything works out. Friendships are an important support group, but you should maybe rely on your T and family for support with the SI, and just enjoy your time with your friend.