[Christina86]

It's back. And I'm not happy about it. I don't think it qualifies as a "self injurious" behaviour for me because I *hate* the pain - my motivations are different when I used to self injure.

But I still hate it. I have scabs on my scalp. And they itch. So I scratch. It's a tension thing (anxiety caused, like trichitillomania for me) but it's really irritating. Coming away with bloody fingertips because I scratch. And with the cooler weather, my skin already is dry so I already have bad dandruff problems so that makes it even worse...

I don't see why I'm so stressed out or what I'm really anxious about. Just need to keep my fingers busy so I don't do something I'll regret AGAIN.

At least for tonight... I just wanted to vent really. I'm at a loss how to deal with this, this time around. If it gets worse, then I start pulling my hair out and tugging... which makes everything wayyyyyyyyy more complicated to deal with.

Sigh. I hate anxiety.

[Rapunzel]

Even the same person can have lots of motivations or functions behind self-injurious behavior. It seems you have identified the motivation for the scratching/picking as to relieve anxiety. Right? You know, more people do it than one would guess. Some to a greater or lesser extent than others.

You said you just wanted to vent, so I'll respect that. You seem to know that keeping your hands busy is one approach. Ok, I was trying not to give advice because you said you were just venting, but I can't help it. You can stop reading if you want to. I want to ask you if you have thought about reinforcing yourself for not scratching or picking for a certain amount of time? Pick what is doable - even if it's only 15 minutes to start - when it gets easier, you can increase the time. You also need to eventually figure out where the stress is coming from and find another way to deal with it. Maybe that's what venting is helping you with.

I pick at my scalp too, and don't notice it, so I don't consider it much of a problem in my case. I'll do it just out of boredom, but if I thought about it, or kept a log of what was happening around the same time, I could probably identify some stress behind it. Even just being cold.

[Christina86]

Thanks lovely ((((((Rap))))))) Always appreciate good advice, even on my ramblings.

I do think I need to try that, I just wish I realized more beforehand than in the midst. It's unconscious for me for the most part, some people chew fingernails, I pick my head. I'm hoping if I can get to the point where my scabs heal this time, that I can stop it again. Once winter hits, I'm wearing a hat lots of the time anyways.

I also do it because I'm bored. Been doing it in class. Profs are horribly boring at times...

Yeah. Thank you

[In_The_Darkness]

(((((Christina86))))))

[phoenix7]

Doodle , twiddle with your pen, get a hair band and twiddle wiht thatn your fingers - that way your fingers are busy - if you realise you are scratching try taking the nails part out of it - gently rub your fingers on your scalp - this iwll ease the itching and also may help wiht the scratcihng -

this is somthing i started doign recently too - scratching my scalp - i suppose cos noone can see it......I have been scratching my arms and people notice ....

Christina - are you doing anythign for the itching...... if not then htis may be a way of maintaining SI without feeling you are really SIing .... does that make any sense to you? there are some really good medicated shampoos out there that may help

please take care of you and let us know how you are going

[Rapunzel]

Even though you do it without awareness, part of the purpose of rewarding yourself for not scratching or picking is that it will train you to be more aware of what you are doing. Doing something else with your hands instead also helps.

[Hunny]

Hi Christina & All,

Thanks for this. I actually just read the thread for the first time today and thanks for shedding new light on this for me. Just thanks. It's helpful.








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[DoggyBonz]

Christina,

Thank you once again for letting me know that I am not alone. I thought that I was the only one who did that. I started in my teens and would have bald spots when the stress got really bad. I never told anyone until I started working with my current T who said given my history she understood.

I wish I had read this post last weekend when I was really stressed and when into that mode of pulling out hair and picking at the scalp. For me the only thing that gets me is interupting the thoughts and deciding to do something different. It's hard but I get frustrated at myself for doing it.

Thanks for letting me know that I am not so alone...

[Hunny]

Wow, you just triggered a memory, Doggy Bonz...

...remembering my Mom-in-law with hair missing. She was the 'best lady' though. So smart and nuturing of all her boys and their wives...

I miss her. She used to play solitaire (with cards lol, yes, there were no 'putrs) for hours, especially if she couldn't sleep. I notice my daughter also likes solitaire on the 'puter now.










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[Fuzzybear]

((((((((((((((( Christina ))))))))))))))


I do this too
It doesn't usually bleed much though.

I use simple shampoo which is good for my sensitive scalp. For you I agree a medicated shampoo would probably be a good idea. And keep your nails short if possible.