[Joanofarc]

I am interested cos my friend has been under section in various psychiatric units for 5 years now. She has self harmed for years but hasn't done so for 6 months now (apart from one burn on her hand with a ciggaretted she tells me).

To help me to understand her a bit better and to maybe be able to pass on some good tips and advice I thought I would ask the members here what helps to quell the urge to self harm.

She is currently having DBT (Dialiectal Behavioural Therapy) which seems to have a good effect.

Anything else?

Thanks.

[dance59326]

DBT is AMAZING!!!!
She really needs to study and work continuously with the program. Not everyone graduates after 20 weeks. Some can go for over a year. Just because she doesn't graduate doesn't mean that she isn't trying though. It's hard to try when mental heath issues come in the way. However, when you talk with her, only use strength based talk. When she says some thing that relates to self-harm in a negative, try to move your conversation to how can she change her mood, what can she do to self-soothe, is she being "mindful." Is she using her Rational or Wise Mind versus her Emotional Mind. I have and still am studying very intensly on this program and find that it is one of the best programs that is at reach. What mental health diagnosis does she have? Often times, if you know what mental health disorder she has, it will help you gage what techniques and what posibilities and options there are for her.
I'd love to keep in touch. PM me if you want or need to. I'm always open to listening,
dance59326

[DoggyBonz]

That is great that you want to help her and understand more about what is going on. Maybe you can direct her to this website and she can find support here also after she gets out of her program.

DBT is wonderful but she is going to need support. I have found when the urge is really strong to cut to keep myself occupied, going to the gym, talking to someone, and also trying to realize that SI'ing is not going to solve the problem but add to it. It is a temporary relief but the urge does pass.

I'm sure she is working with a therapist and I hope that helps her. The moe honest I am in my communication and willing to look at what is going on the more the urge passes - it's hard and sometimes I think that SI'ing would be easier but in the end I still have to deal with the issues at hand.

[In_The_Darkness]

It may actually be the DBT that is helping her - it's a really good therapy (apparently, I can't have it because I also have AS ).

Though if she's been in and out of psychiatric hospitals for so long, she must have tried quite a lot of the techniques I know (all of which work for some but not for others - I have been in a mental hospital myself and still self harm every now and then).

What she could try is:

• Squeezing an ice cube in her hand
• Putting an elastic band around her wrist and flicking herself with it whenever she feels like cutting
• Writing in red on her arms, or putting shapes and/or lines (like cuts) with the pen on various places she feels like self harming
• Doing something to keep herself busy and getting SI off her mind

I don't know anymore, sorry

But yeah. It's really good you want to help her and give her some advice. Kudos to you!
< I_T_D >

[dance59326]

Sticky: Reasons Not To ( 1 2 3 ... Last Page)

Sticky: Self Injury Resources ( 1 2 3)

Sticky: Things to do instead of hurting yourself ( 1 2 3 ... Last Page)

Here are some great resources right on the top of this forum page. You can click these links right on my post. I hope that this helps you.

~dance59326

[larakeziah]

Originally Posted by Joanofarc

I am interested cos my friend has been under section in various psychiatric units for 5 years now. She has self harmed for years but hasn't done so for 6 months now (apart from one burn on her hand with a ciggaretted she tells me).

To help me to understand her a bit better and to maybe be able to pass on some good tips and advice I thought I would ask the members here what helps to quell the urge to self harm.

She is currently having DBT (Dialiectal Behavioural Therapy) which seems to have a good effect.

Anything else?

Thanks.

Hi, you sound like a really good friend. I wish my friend would have done somethin like you then maybe she'd understand me an what i'm going through more. I've been self harming since i was about 9 an only in the last few yrs have i been able to stop my self. I do this by writin out things that interest me, eg, i write out the states of america in alphabetical order, or the presidents, i do this wen i feel anxious or have have the urge to harm myself. It doesn't always work but its stopped me countless times! I hope this helps your friend and keep doing what you're doing i'm sure your friend will appreciate it!

[phoenix7]

thankyou for looking out for your friend

there are stickies at the top of the page you can print out and take to her

also in the PTSD froum at the top there is a sticky that has grounding skills - they can help too

there are great ideas there too

readng through the trhreads will help you to understand a bit how she feels if you can do that .

If i can help let me know

i was wondering a couple of things... does she have a diagnosis?
self harm can often go hand in hand with other disorders - PTSD - SA or BPD - if you know her diagnosis then you can go to the relevant forum and read the stickies there and see if they can help her

the other thing i wondered is what sort of support she has whe she comes out of hospital? getting a therapist that knows about this sort of thing can really help in the healing process

thankyou again for careing

P7

[Joanofarc]

thanks folks for all you positive comments and messages of support. I really have appreciated reading them.

Her diagnosis is Borderline Personality Disorder btw.

[Joanofarc]

shes not being discharged yet, although I'm not there every day like the staff, I kind of think she should be discharged. Was going to her tribunal next week but its been cancelled on the advice of her solicitor as she suffered a 'blip' recently. Godammit!

[Joanofarc]

I dont know what to say sometimes, I prattle on to her about this and that and how we want to put our case across at the tribunal. I ask her stuff, she doesn't always want to answer. I feel like a bull in a china shop sometimes. I think I talk too much and don't listen enough. I know I shouldn't beat myself up over it - to me she always seems normal and okay, I talk to her like anyone else, I try and be a support but wonder often whether I'm saying the right things or not. Both her parents are dead. I'm her best friend. Life ****ing sucks sometimes!