[rainydaygirl420]

After the last time I cut, I must have damaged nerves in my arm, because I can no longer feel it and no where else on my body is the same. I guess thats good and its making me stop, but Im afraid I've branched out. I became so dehydrated while being sick a few weeks ago that I had to go to the hospital, but part of me worries that I may have done that a little on purpose. I knew I was getting dehydrated from being sick and I knew I should be doing things to get better, but all I wanted to do was sleep and I had this hopeless feeling that made me almost not even want to get better. I feel like Im losing my freakin mind!! I had a nervous breakdown a few months ago and thats when my last episode of SI happened. I almost fear myself and I feel really stupid saying that.

[phoenix47baby]

I think it is a healthy thing that your behavior scared you. I am hoping that it scared you back into reality to realize that you are a unique, wonderful, worthwhile person and you deserve to be happy and succeed and do all of the goals that you set out to do. Hoping that this finds you in a better place. phoenix