Reasons Not To

thank you all. i really needed this right now. i am fighting hard.

1. Scars. If you make scars that never fade, you will have to deal with them for the rest of your life. Deal with explaining them, trying to hide them, or trying to get rid of them and feeling ashamed of them (as many people do).

2. If it gets bad enough you risk hospitalization.

3. You hurt others that love you and worry them. This in turn, will likely cause you pain, as well.

4. Having to hide things from loved ones. Can contribute to dishonesty, shame, and having to hide your injuries, which isn't always easy to do. Then dealing with their reaction when they find out. Also dealing with worrying about, "What if?" they find out.

5. Risk causing permanant damage to yourself that doesn't heal- and I'm not talking about scars.

6. You hate yourself even more AFTER you SI. I know I do.

7. Nosey questions from strangers. And trying to come up with excuses for strangers, doctors, people you know, etc.

8. Provides only temporary relief.

9. It is addicting.

10. The main reason I SI'd was to deal with anger. When in that moment, if you are used to SI'ing, you might end up SI'ing in front of someone in the heat of the moment (anger is pretty driving and sort of takes over sometimes, and you can't always find a place to run off to) and that could damage relationships and really hurt the other person who is there with you.

11. Damage to property can sometimes occur.

12. You set this example for other people, including impressionable youth. You could be teaching them a negative way of dealing with their emotions, if they see what you are doing.

13. Ignorant people- including therapists- that don't understand why you do it, but THINK they do. Grrrrrr!

To Saphael,

you said it wasn't that difficult to hide. To a degree, this is true, depending on a person's situation. Yet, it is almost impossible to hide if you have an intimate partner. Also, it can be limiting and controlling in other areas of your life, if you attempt to conceal it. It is difficult to hide in a bathing suit, for example, as many people have mentioned on here. Sure, we don't have to wear swim suits, but if you want to go swimming, it will be difficult for you to swim and hide your scars and injuries. And I for one, love to swim. We could simply avoid swimming, but for those who enjoy it, trying to hide the scars is definitely a downside.

It is also difficult to hide if you are going to the doctors and they need to see much skin at all- or if they need to see the skin you happened to have abused. If you have an intimate partner, they might wonder why you suddenly won't so much as change clothes with the lights on. It can take awhile for some injuries to heal and by that point they will often be more than suspicious, unless you normally never let them see you undress. Otherwise, they're going to want to know what is wrong. And if the mark scars, well, they will discover it eventually. It's also difficult to conceal if you get a new job and your uniform shirt has short sleeves and you've just done a number on your arm. It would be difficult to hide scars from old wounds if you had a job or went to a school were short sleeves were required. Or if you want to join the swim team (or even go to a pool party and not stay out of the pool the whole time), cheerleading squard, or anything that requires you to show much skin.

What about donating blood with SI'd arms? You want to hide the marks, but you want to help do good in the world. Again, it becomes a problem. Or what about when you're working out? I like to dress in something that I won't burn up in when I work out, cause I know my temp. will rise as I exercise. If you exercise with a partner or in public, you might want to cover up more, if you don't want them to see the marks.

You also have to wear long sleeves in hot weather if you do anything on your forearms. And what about unique situations coming up- such as a friend asking a lady to be a bridesmaid, and guess what? She's ordering everyone sleeveless dresses, cause she has no idea you SI.

Yes, it's not that difficult to hide IF you limit your wardrobe selection, limit what you can do (like swimming), and don't have an intimate partner, and manage to- for better or worse- avoid the doctor. Mostly, these are things we can avoid, but it limits and controls us, and costs us comfort, freedom, and enjoyable activities. Yet, the one thing that really sticks out to me is having an intimate partner, such as a spouse, because if you have one or want to get one, you should know, it's about impossible to hide SI from them. Out of curiosity- how many people have have tried to hide SI from a spouse or intimate partner?

I have! /nd it is definately NOT easy. in fact, it was impossible. oddly, it wasn't when I was changing or sanything like that, but I have always SI'd on my thighs mostly and he always puts his hand on my leg, so when the cuts were deep I couldn't stop myself from wincing. considering, he figued it all out pretty quickly. the biggest thing that made stop SI was my fiance. once he found out he started to regularly closely look over my entire body, checking for marks and scars. it hurt him so much when I did it that finally my love for him overpowered the things that fueled my SI. It has been 4 months since the last time. it has been very hard, but somehow I've made it this far. withouthim, I never could have done it!

There are no reasons not to.

I pick my face for hours at a time. I can't stop the mirror just wount let mego. I don't have acne. I showed my dr like you and he said he didn't see anything. He must be blind. I was bleeding and lost 30lbs in two months. He said u need more adderall, the exact drug I spent 128 days in CA. Recovering from. I want to stop so badly!r fade, you will have to deal with them for the rest of your life. Deal with explaining them, trying to hide them, or trying to get rid of them and feeling ashamed of them (as many people do).

2. If it gets bad enough you risk hospitalization.

3. You hurt others that love you and worry them. This in turn, will likely cause you pain, as well.

4. Having to hide things from loved ones. Can contribute to dishonesty, shame, and having to hide your injuries, which isn't always easy to do. Then dealing with their reaction when they find out. Also dealing with worrying about, "What if?" they find out.

5. Risk causing permanant damage to yourself that doesn't heal- and I'm not talking about scars.

6. You hate yourself even more AFTER you SI. I know I do.

7. Nosey questions from strangers. And trying to come up with excuses for strangers, doctors, people you know, etc.

8. Provides only temporary relief.

9. It is addicting.

10. The main reason I SI'd was to deal with anger. When in that moment, if you are used to SI'ing, you might end up SI'ing in front of someone in the heat of the moment (anger is pretty driving and sort of takes over sometimes, and you can't always find a place to run off to) and that could damage relationships and really hurt the other person who is there with you.

11. Damage to property can sometimes occur.

12. You set this example for other people, including impressionable youth. You could be teaching them a negative way of dealing with their emotions, if they see what you are doing.

13. Ignorant people- including therapists- that don't understand why you do it, but THINK they do. Grrrrrr!

To Saphael,

you said it wasn't that difficult to hide. To a degree, this is true, depending on a person's situation. Yet, it is almost impossible to hide if you have an intimate partner. Also, it can be limiting and controlling in other areas of your life, if you attempt to conceal it. It is difficult to hide in a bathing suit, for example, as many people have mentioned on here. Sure, we don't have to wear swim suits, but if you want to go swimming, it will be difficult for you to swim and hide your scars and injuries. And I for one, love to swim. We could simply avoid swimming, but for those who enjoy it, trying to hide the scars is definitely a downside.

It is also difficult to hide if you are going to the doctors and they need to see much skin at all- or if they need to see the skin you happened to have abused. If you have an intimate partner, they might wonder why you suddenly won't so much as change clothes with the lights on. It can take awhile for some injuries to heal and by that point they will often be more than suspicious, unless you normally never let them see you undress. Otherwise, they're going to want to know what is wrong. And if the mark scars, well, they will discover it eventually. It's also difficult to conceal if you get a new job and your uniform shirt has short sleeves and you've just done a number on your arm. It would be difficult to hide scars from old wounds if you had a job or went to a school were short sleeves were required. Or if you want to join the swim team (or even go to a pool party and not stay out of the pool the whole time), cheerleading squard, or anything that requires you to show much skin.

What about donating blood with SI'd arms? You want to hide the marks, but you want to help do good in the world. Again, it becomes a problem. Or what about when you're working out? I like to dress in something that I won't burn up in when I work out, cause I know my temp. will rise as I exercise. If you exercise with a partner or in public, you might want to cover up more, if you don't want them to see the marks.

You also have to wear long sleeves in hot weather if you do anything on your forearms. And what about unique situations coming up- such as a friend asking a lady to be a bridesmaid, and guess what? She's ordering everyone sleeveless dresses, cause she has no idea you SI.

Yes, it's not that difficult to hide IF you limit your wardrobe selection, limit what you can do (like swimming), and don't have an intimate partner, and manage to- for better or worse- avoid the doctor. Mostly, these are things we can avoid, but it limits and controls us, and costs us comfort, freedom, and enjoyable activities. Yet, the one thing that really sticks out to me is having an intimate partner, such as a spouse, because if you have one or want to get one, you should know, it's about impossible to hide SI from them. Out of curiosity- how many people have have tried to hide SI from a spouse or intimate partner?[/QUOTE]

I haven't cut for just over 9 months, longest I've ever gone since I was 15 and I'm 28 now. My SI was severe, I had surgery to correct tendons and muscles. My biggest reason to not cut now is that I DON'T DESERVE IT! You can't stop SI for some else, you can only stop for you. I think since coming to the realisation that I deserve to be kinder to myself, and that si doesn't solve any problem it just creates more

Reasons Not to Self Harm..
.The scarring. One day you may stop..and the scars will still be there so making them worse will not help.
.Not being able to show your arms in Public..without people wondering.
.Also you will feel much better with yourself for Not doing it.


x

I'd say scars is a biggie. Although they can sort of be a sign to say 'I got through this, this was something difficult that I defeated', eventually they cause every day problems. Especially in the summer, you either cant wear what you want and have to dress around them, or just suck it up and wear whatever, still being paranoid all day that people are watching you and judging you (possibly). It can be hard to move on when they pop up in your life like that. Mine are on my legs (on one side reaching down to the knee) and my left arm (from the elbow covering the whole width of the back of my arm and stretching about 15-20 cm along my lower arm), so i don't wear shorts, avoid sleeves that dont cover them unless it's unbearably hot, and have to be careful with skirts or even cropped trousers.
Also if you have a partner, it can be embarassing or hard to show them your body and be open with them, I know from experience you can feel ashamed and not want to show them, in case it upsets them or disgusts them etc.

Having said all that, I'm not 'ashamed' of them exactly, and don't think anyone else should be, I acknowledge that they happened, it was a large part of my life, and if it happened been SI, something worse may well have happened.

X

[/quote] Out of curiosity- how many people have have tried to hide SI from a spouse or intimate partner?[/quote]

Luckily (?) for me, the man who would turn out to be my first real 'intimate partner' was someone I already felt close to and could rely on when my SI-ing was discovered. Basically, I had a particuarly low night, drank -well let's just say alot of nasty things - and sliced my arm well and truly open, not as badly as I had done on previous occasions, stumbled upstairs and fell unconscious on my floor. Mum heard the racket, saw the mess and took me to the hospital.
The next day, 'he' came round to see me, not knowing what had happened, and mum -knowing that i was close to him- asked if i wanted him to be told. I said yes, being hopelessly possessed by him at this point.
He was very understanding, and for the last 14 months our relationship has been built on him knowing about me and my problems. We've been together a few months (during which I haven't SI'd) and I talk to him when I'm feeling low, which is alot. He deals with it wonderfully, which sometimes drives me mad because I just can't understand it.

But, to answer your original question, though he knows about the SI, if we're in a situation where he'd see my legs *cough* I make sure that the room is dark otherwise i can't be comfortable.

One day I'll just go ahead and show him in the light.
And I have every confidence that he'll just say 'I love you. This is you' and take me into his arms

I hope you all find someone like him. I know how incredibly lucky I am. There are people like that out there!

X

idk i can't really think of a reason not to, i guess that's why i still do it

I've been having urges to cut again and my T and I came up with things to put on cards to help me from cutting.
Right now I'm keeping from SIing because:
"Just because people hurt me in the past doesn't mean I deserve to be hurt." and "My T doesn't think I deserve to be hurt." They are posted in my apartment right now to help me.

Because of how hard it is to stop. Sadly, I think it may be too late for me. I have been SIing since I was in the junior school.

because you are better then that

I think mainly the scars to remind you of what you did for the rest of your life and when your family finds out the pain and hurt faces are enough to kill you inside.

I can never really come up with any reasons not to for myself...DfenderOfEmilysHeart:
"It's not over till you're underground, it's not over before it's too late.."-Letterbomb

it is never too late! I know you can do this! ;-) it's important that you can believe in yourself as well.

To Everybody on this forum!:
all of you have gotten this far!;-) the fact that you're still standing proves that you can, and will get through this! I'm not saying it's easy, it never is, but I know we can do this when we support eachother. Whenever you feel the urge, or the pain know that someone out there understands you!
"All problems are essentially the same, just packaged differently."-Billie Joe Armstrong

it just makes the pain worse

it has been 2 years since i last cut...i have many reasons why it would be completely self destructive and selfish to resume this behavior... i forgot that i wrote this... and am hoping that i can hang onto the truth i had found here...lyn

how do people stop it i have been doing it for nearly a year now and been sectioned already.

I hadn't cut in a REALLY long time, I was doing well but then all of a sudden I couldn't help it. I know I'm better than that, and I don't need to though.

None of us do.
Just always remember that. ;-)

For me, one reason not to self-injure is that my life, all of our lives, are valuable! Life is worth living, even when I feel that it is not. Feelings are temporary, and I can choose to live and choose to change the way I perceive life. I do have a purpose, and I want to fulfill that purpose and give back to those who have stuck with me through the hard times - not reward them with self-injury or abandonment. To do so is to do the very thing I most fear that my loved ones will do to me. I want to love and shine light into the lives of others rather than the darkness I have fought for so long. I want to be a conqueror over the bondage to self-injury!

Thanks everyone for the encouragement on this forum!

BAPearl