Reasons Not To

1. I feel guilty every time I do.
2. my little sister knows and she's worried
3. my boyfriend knows and he's had nightmares about it
4. I had to have a friend's help last time because I got staples stuck in my leg. It was embarassing.
5. I'd rather run. If I'm feeling physical pain I'd rather it be healthy.
6. blood is messy and it stains I ruined my favorite shorts this way.
7. people judge you
8. the scars are just a reminder of when I was weak, I hate reminders like that.
9. I can't help people if I'm too consumed in myself
10. infection is a B, and if I suddenly flip into a manic episode I might not care for the wound properly.
11. I don't have any kids yet, but I never want them to see that.
12. I hate hospitals (though I want to be a surgeon...)
13. If I do it down in Mississippi, the adolescent ward is a nightmare and I can't let myself go back there.
14. If I'm something that can just be cut up and thrown away, my mother was right.
15. I want to have a future where I'm stable, not always explaining scars dragging up old memories.

and lastly:
I don't want anything to control me, not even my own head

because i hate dealing with the guilt afterwards
the relief is only temporary, the scars are permanent
the bad guys win

Getting through something without SI'ing feels so much better than SI'ing.

It's my last year in high school and I want to have at least one whole SI-free school year in my high school life.

- AJ

NOTHING comes to mind. I enjoy my self harm. I find it soothing and about the only thing that calms me.

BUT - do it smart. Do not risk death. Do not do it in any place that you would be embarrassed if others saw it. Do what you need to "cope" with whatever has upset you. But do it SMART.

Usually I stay busy anyway I can - read books, do homework, study, work... sometimes it's hard to focus on staying busy though, but being outside helps - the wind on my face, the fresh air flowing through my lungs, some of the only times I feel alive <3

It would only be short term relief, and feed long-term depression... painful scars, more torturous thoughts... Never worth it <3

Because it makes me question my mind too much.

In-case it helps anyone that uses this thread:

{ Kein Teufel }
Translation: Not a devil
[ `id -u` -eq 0 ] || exit 1

Hey I am new here but this thread has really helped me, everyone hit on similar things I feel but I need to write this out for myself (since I really feel like SIing right now)
1.) My therapist would be incredibility upset and feel like she failed me and wasnt there for me
2.) It would turn into the horrible cycle it was for so many years, I wouldnt be able to stop because I would lose hope in myself for starting it again
3.) My mom would be disappointed in me and feel like she is a failure to me
4.) It would harm me helping others, I want to be a therapist and if I lose control again I wont reach my potiental in helping others
5.) I would be so disappointed in myself and feel like an utter complete failure and just want to do it more and it would make my depression worse and I would feel more hopeless
6.) Last time I cut myself in a fit of anger I did a number of myself and went too deep and should have got stiches and it was horrible
7.) I would end up in the hospital again
8.) It wouldnt solve any of my problems or heal the pain
9.) I told my boss that this was in the past and I am beyond it
10.) The only person I would be harming is myself

I don't understand how?

Thanks for this forum to talk about things that most people don't want to hear about. Recently, I was extremely distraught about my job. I was seriously considering shooting my foot off with a gun (so I would not have to work anymore). I pondered this for about two and a half days. Finally, I decided not to because my therapist was frequently telling me she was proud of me. I was kind of proud of me too for the progress I had made. I finally decided I did not want to loose what I had gained!!!

That's fantastic seeker The feelings and urges can be strong sometimes but they do pass in time, and with encouragement. Hang in there

I am not worried about the self-harm part; I am just absolutely scared shitless of the consequences and the emotions after.
- AJ

In the nicest possible way, others seeing you self harming is also damaging to them too. Like your kids for example, if they see you are self harming... they could possibly think they have done something wrong (specifically younger children) and also could think this is a good thing and could be taught the habit.

Of course, it's ones choice if they want to do it... but always be careful of who you are also damaging in the long run.

I have my injuries on my hand, and my son had seen them by accident, course I thought i
wuz doing a pretty good job of hiding it. He looked at my hand and said mommy
got boo boos", then he ran a got a band aid and put it over them. I do not cut I burn.

nycgal - it is sweet that your son is so protective of you. That is adorable

One of the reasons I haven't burned myself in a while is because of my job. I'm required to wear a t-shirt for work and if a customer or my supervisors saw the scars, I'd probably be in trouble.

But I think a good reason for not hurting yourself is that it's not worth it. Why hurt yourself over someone who's not worth it? If someone is making you feel ******, especially if they're not close to you, then they're basically nothing. Why let a ****** person like that have control over your life? You're not hurting them by doing it, you're only hurting yourself.

Sounds hard on not only the child, but you as well. Stay strong for your three year old if you can't figure out anyone else.

1) you can get carried away and accidentally commit suicide
2) getting sent to or sent back to mental ward
3) hurting friends or family members emotionally by hurting your self physically