[Lexicon78]

I'm sitting here and the urge to cut is present...it's always present. I sit here staring at the screen, then at the razor...but don't know what I should do. I know that everyone thinks I shouldn't cut, but there is a strong yearning inside of me that tells me I should. I'm not sure where to turn but here.

To see the blood flow would be immensely pleasurable...it's the tainted blood that flows out...exiting my soul...it is dirty blood. Oh, the ramblings of my mind...

[tamzinrose]

I agree with you. I actually don't see why I shouldn't cut. But I don't think you should. Because I can care about other people and not want them to hurt themselves. And I really don't think you should. Sorry it's so hard atm.

[tamzinrose]

I'm here if you want to Vent anytime. PM me.

[hereiam]

If you find yourself teetering on the edge between cutting and not cutting, looking at your razor and thinking about the blood...stop thinking. Instead just get up, walk over to the razor and pick it up and throw it away. Or flush it, or go outside and throw it in the neighboors yard, anything like that. It may seem like 'you cant' but you can. It's just whether or not you just get up and do it. After that, leave. Leave the place where the thoughts can build and boil. Walk, talk, write, run, anything.

Sounds all too cliche, but if you did it, I bet you'd feel better.

[Rapunzel]

Hereiam is right about throwing away the razor. If you keep looking at it, it gets really hard not to use it. Please don't throw it in the neighbor's yard though. What if kids are walking in the grass barefoot?

Lexi, I do know that feeling too, and I'm sorry that you are struggling with it. I know that it's hard, but would it help to get up and find something else to do?

Hang in there,
Rap