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#1
Jan 21, 2011, 04:12 PM
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I just tried to cut myself for the first time, and I can't even make it bleed. Heh... Typical. I fail at even that.
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"My only hope lies in my despair." |
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#2
Jan 21, 2011, 04:46 PM
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Please don't start! Do you understand what is causing you to want to SI?
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
 Don't touch me
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#3
Jan 21, 2011, 05:17 PM
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I hate myself and want to do this or die. I'm doing the cheaper one.
__________________
"My only hope lies in my despair." |
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#4
Jan 22, 2011, 11:11 AM
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Are you in therapy?
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#5
Jan 22, 2011, 03:07 PM
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Yes, but I don't trust my therapist. I am terrified of her sending me to a hospital.
__________________
"My only hope lies in my despair." |
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#6
Jan 22, 2011, 03:29 PM
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Have you discussed when she would "send you to the hospital"? Please don't hate yourself because you want to SI. SI does help to stop people from being suicidal.
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#7
Jan 22, 2011, 04:00 PM
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Why are trying to start? Don't do it.
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Be who you are and say what you feel... Because those who matter.. Don’t mind... And those who mind.. Don’t matter." (Dr. Seuss) 
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#8
Jan 22, 2011, 04:41 PM
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Quote:
Please don't try anymore, it just makes things worse very quickly. It might seem like SI is helping but it's just adding to your problems, not dealing with them. SI started the same way for me. My theory on why you and I couldn't "make it bleed" at first was hesitation. Some part of you doesn't want to do this. Think about it, think past the urge and try to figure out what this will really do for you. I know this probably isn't what you want to hear. SI feels like an answer or escape, you may not want to try anything else or ignore the urge. But please try, I know from experience it just makes things harder. It will consume your life. If you're not SI-ing, you're thinking about it. If for even a second you're not thinking about it directly, you're trying to hide the scars or worrying that someone will see them. That adds stress, which will fuel not only the urges but the things that led you to SI in the first place. It doesn't help in the long run. Let me know how you're doing. 
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| Don't touch me, Sannah
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#9
Jan 22, 2011, 04:41 PM
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Quote:
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She wishes things were different, but the wishes don't mean anything. I am trying to hear myself think here But all I can feel is the pain. I just want to curl up and stop my aching heart . |
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#10
Jan 22, 2011, 06:09 PM
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please try to find another outlet for your internal pain hun.
it will end up taking over your life, losing you all your friends and aquaintances, people who respect/look up to you. it's addictive, stop before it gets hold of you hun! would you feel safe enough to tell us what's pushed you this far? PM if you want, i don't judge cuz that'd make me a hypocrite :P J x |
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#11
Jan 22, 2011, 08:06 PM
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Okay... Okay. You guys are really really right I think. I should stop myself. I was having an episode and my judgment wasn't exactly the best. I'll tell my therapist and if she sends me to a hospital it's probably better for my safety anyway.
Pushed me this far? Mostly because I feel trapped. I can't trust anyone, not even myself I suppose.
__________________
"My only hope lies in my despair." |
| livetofight, Nemo39122, Sannah
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#12
Jan 24, 2011, 06:10 PM
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It's ok, everyone has their bad days, just some of us more than others....
Telling your therapist sounds like a good plan, seeing as she probably knows your situation better than us. Hopefully she'll be able to work out what's best for you :-) Hopefully you can work on your trapped feeling (if it's not due to an unchangeable situation, or even if it is) and trust i know takes time, but maybe someday we'll all be able to trust again. Let us know how you get on with things  J x |
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