[iamspecial]

Hi i'm not sure why i am writing this really but i thought if i shared it and also put some of the things that helped me to stop aswell, its just if you feel like you want to/are self injurying yourself then i really hope thing will help you thinks differently.

Most people hate talking and sharing about self injury b/c some people think its just for attention and they dont realise that there is a reason behind it till its nearly too late or it is too late. People need to know that people dont self injure themselves for attention, it a cry for help and not knowing how to ask for it so they self injure has a way of asking. However in my experiance i have become to learn that there are other things that can be done instead of self injury but it has taken me ages to get my head round it.

When i was 14 i started to self injure myself all the time and i would go to school with my arm and legs covered up so no one could see what i had done but when i got too hot i lifted my sleeve up and my friends saw what i had done and they told a teacher who then came to me and asked to see my arm but i wouldnt show her at first but i gave in after her keep asking me and she wasnt really happy and kept her eyes on me and asked me to promise her i would stop but i didnt promise b/c i dont make promises unless i can keep them and i knew i wouldnt have been able to keep that promise so i didnt promise her and i self injure infront of her to show her that i was really bad and that nothing that she was saying was going in but it was wrong of me to do that and i know i shouldnt have done it infront of her.

she took everything sharpe out of my pencil case so i couldnt do it anymore but once i got home i could b/c i had loads of things to choose from but i did try and stop once i saw my friend doing what i was and it was my fault she started b/c before she saw me do it she didnt do it but when she showed me what she had done and that she was proud of it i thought to myself OMGosh this is my fault, if she hadnt have seen mine she wouldnt have done this and i felt really bad and it made me realise that this is what the people who know me and care about me must feel when i do it and dont listen to them so i went back to that teacher and said to her i promise i will try to stop and she was pleased that i did.

However things kick off at my home and i was in a place where no one could reach me and i was just alone and i pushed everyone away (even the teacher that i promised) and i started to miss lesson which my teachers wasnt pleased with but i didnt really care at the time but after that passed i did a full year and half without self injury and i was pround of myself b/c i hadn't done it in a long time. (i also had counselling in school in year 9 and 10)

I started college and half way through i lost my uncle and my auntie was really dependant on me and i didnt have me time and i was becoming ill from going to college then my aunites till late then up again early for college for 2 month, i had to step away from her b/c she was draining me and b/c i felt bad for stepping away when she needed me the most, i started self harming again and felt really bad for doing it but i didnt/couldnt understand my emotions, i knew i was going the wrong way again and asked for help (which was really hard to do but i really didnt want to carry on what i was doing and i wanted to get better really badly)

I went and spoke to a counsellor but i didnt get long b/c she had to have time off b/c she was having an opperation but she helped me until our time was over and i stopped again. Second year of college i didnt self harm and i was again pround of myself again for being able to stop even tho there was moments i really wanted to.

Anyway this is getting boring for you to read so i am now going to write down the 5 things that helped me to stop it and they are:

1. seeing my friend do it aswell.
2. getting the help i needed. (teachers/counsellor)
3. holding ice cubes.
4. having a cold bath.
5. thinking to myself i will do it in 10 mins then once the 10 mins was over i would tell myself just another 10 mins and keep repeating it till i no longer think of doing it.

These are not easy to do and i know it is really hard (b/c i have tryed them and i found it hard at first but now it really helps) but if you really want to stop then give some of these ago, it wont hurt to try them and it is better than self injury. please please stay strong and i hope this might help you. Thank you for taking the time to read it even tho it is really long and sorry if it was boring for you. take cake

Thank you for sharing, iamspecial. You truly are.