[nice girl]

Praying for death to come every moment.
But no use. Trying so so hard not to harm myself.
crying doesn't stop. the scary feeling doesn't go away. tired of my hopeless life.

I'm so sorry to hear you are struggling right now. Do you have any coping techniques you can use to prevent you from self-harming? Myself, I enjoy reading, writing, watching funny tv shows, and taking a long, hot bath. It might be helpful to write down a list of things you enjoy doing,

Also, is there anybody in your life you can share these feelings with? Maybe a psychiatrist, therapist, even a friend? And of course, feel free to post on PC whenever you can, we are here to listen.

[Sannah]

Did you seek out a therapist?

[nice girl]

No sannah. . . .
I couldn't. . . . I told my best friend i needed to c one. . . .
She scolded me saying nothing's wrong with u. . . .
I don't know whom to share my feelings with. . . .

[nice girl]

If someday i am not here i would just want all my friends and family to know that life will be better without me. . . . I was a pain to myself and others. . . . god knows when the day will come however. . . .

[eskielover]

Do you always listen to what your best friend says, or do you do what you know is best for yourself.

No one knows what is going on inside of you more than you yourself. To listen to someone else is not a very wise idea.

Do what you need to do to take care of yourself & beyond that, it's NO ONE's business even your best friend.....sounds like she's really NOT thinking of your best interest.

[Sannah]

Nice girl, I really hope that you find a therapist. We are talking about your life here......

[nice girl]

I wanna cut soo bad. . . .
But i promised someone on his life i won't so im stuck. . . .
I'm scared if i don't cut i might kill myself

[Sannah]

You are playing with fire being suicidal and not seeking help.

[nice girl]

I know. . . . I'm lost. . . . I wanna die. . . . Atleast i keep thinking of dying all the time. . . .
Don't wanna die but what other options do i have. . . . Why am i not like others. . . . I too wanna live life like them. . . . but i can't. . . . why?????????????????????? why me??????????????????

[bipolar_bear]

((((((((((((((((((((((nice girl)))))))))))))))))))))) Please find some help. Someone who can help you work through this. I am sorry your friend was unsupportive. I hope you find the support you need.

BB

[nice girl]

Thanks loads bipolar bear. . . .
Actually she doesn't know that my condition is so worse, actually no one does cause i am always smiling as if nothing's wrong but when i'm all alone i cry i feel miserable cz i knw nothing's right. . . . I can't show people how i feel they won't understand. . . . they don't know im suffering. . . . I can't stand being like this anymore. . . . being me anymore. . . .

[Sannah]

Originally Posted by nice girl

Don't wanna die but what other options do i have. . . . Why am i not like others. . . . I too wanna live life like them. . . . but i can't. . . . why?????????????????????? why me??????????????????

ng, you do have options - getting help - I would focus on that instead of the why me.

Originally Posted by nice girl

Actually she doesn't know that my condition is so worse, actually no one does cause i am always smiling as if nothing's wrong but when i'm all alone i cry i feel miserable cz i knw nothing's right. . . . I can't show people how i feel they won't understand. . . . they don't know im suffering. . . . I can't stand being like this anymore. . . . being me anymore. . . .

Living like this would be very difficult. It is a decision that you have made, though. You can make other decisions too, like getting help.

[nice girl]

Thanks sannah for caring for me soooo much....... but it's not possible for me to get counseling due to various reasons......
Plus how can i tell my friends im feeling suicidal they will freak out and not understand me......

[ladyjrnlist]

You have to tell someone. Call the hotline, go to the ER. Something. You don't have to try to handle this alone.

[Sannah]

Various reasons..........

You don't need to share all of your info with your friends. Not sharing all of your info and putting up a false front are 2 different things.

[nice girl]

@ ladyjrnlist: yes u r right. . . . the feelings are getting out of my control.
@ Sannah: thanks loads. . . . I will try sharing a lil of what i am going through. . . . I have tried that earlier. . . . But mah friends already have so much of their own problems. . . . How can i burden them with mine. . . .

[Confusedinomicon]

Call a friend and tell them you need to go to the ER. You don't need to explain why you're going, and when you see a physician you can explain your feelings. Your friend(s) might feel shocked but this is your life on the line. Also, like Sannah said, they don't need to know everything.

[nice girl]

@ Confusedinomicon: Yes u r right. . . . I cannot tell my best friend about this. . . .poor thing has loads of problems to cope with and she is younger to me. . . . I will try however. . . .