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Member
Member Since May 2010
Location: WI
Posts: 190
14 1 hugs
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#1
Its been almost a year that I havent cut myself. And that whole time, my boyfriends been there, trying to support me. I really appriciate it, I do. But hes starting to..not understand how hard it is for me not to just give in again. The feeling is still fresh in my memory, and I just, Ive gained more self control this long year, but Its always still there, in the back of my mind, and my boyfriend just doesnt understand.. Lately Ive been getting more and more urges. My boyfriend just says "well, its been almost a year, you shouldnt want to do that anymore" And yeah, I dont want to, but i just..miss it? Im not sure how i feel about it anymore.
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Legendary
Member Since Feb 2006
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 19,686
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#2
I think it is normal to miss something you become attached to. Sometimes people in our lives wont understand SI though. Maybe you can find him a book to read on self injury and that would help.
Do you have a therapist or a doctor or someone else you can depend on for help besides your boyfriend __________________ |
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Member
Member Since May 2010
Location: WI
Posts: 190
14 1 hugs
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#3
I used to see a therapist, but it became too expencive.. And yeah, ive told him alot about it, but it just doesnt set in his mind. But other than that I have maybe one friend i can talk to, but I'm scared Ill trigger her, since she does it too.
All my friends have done this, but ive done it longer and its just getting hard to talk to them about it.. theyd just tell my school councler again. /: |
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Legendary
Member Since Jul 2008
Posts: 19,179
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#4
Do you understand what is causing your urges to increase?
__________________ Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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Member
Member Since Mar 2011
Location: Here
Posts: 96
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#5
I tried to change the feeling into something else, when i used to feel the urge, i would just go and hug my girlfriend for as long as it took for the urge to go away. Of course then she dumped me and i started again - but try to change the habit into a less destructive one
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thine_self_untrue
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Member
Member Since May 2010
Location: WI
Posts: 190
14 1 hugs
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#6
Thanks guys,
And im not sure, It might just be school, and that fact that i dont see my mom much, but its always been like that, and i dont think that could be making it worse, but i do miss her alot right now.. It could even be my boyfriend.. we have these little arguments and I just cant stand fighting.. Im not sure. lol, it could just be everything all at once. /: |
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Legendary
Member Since Feb 2006
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 19,686
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18 2,039 hugs
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#7
What about talking to your school counsellor then? If you can't afford therapy, that sounds like a good idea?
I had the same problems with my friends, some of them did SI but I was afraid of triggering them. But if it might help you, you could always ask. __________________ |
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Legendary
Member Since Jul 2008
Posts: 19,179
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16 1,773 hugs
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#8
Maybe you need your mom more now? Why aren't you seeing her enough? And maybe the fighting with your bf is just getting to be too much. Do you understand what is causing the arguments?
__________________ Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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Member
Member Since May 2010
Location: WI
Posts: 190
14 1 hugs
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#9
I would talk to my counceler, but i just..cant ask for help..
And Idk, he says i like to just start random arguments and alskdjf, i dont! i just, im very stuborn and hes..stuborn too and 2 stuborn people just dont seem to mix well... /: But i love him with all my heart, and i need him. He just doesnt understand that this fighting is making me have urges like he couldnt imagine. And I dont see my mom much because she doesnt have a nice environment to have us over.. she lives with her boyfriend at his moms, and shes an obese hoarder, soo.. not very welcoming i guess.. and she works 3rd shift; when shes at work, im sleeping../: ]: |
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Legendary
Member Since Jul 2008
Posts: 19,179
(SuperPoster!)
16 1,773 hugs
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#10
Did you tell your bf that the fighting makes you have urges?
Why can't you ask for help? What is scary about it? Sounds like you could contact your mom and tell her that you want to see her more? __________________ Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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Member
Member Since May 2010
Location: WI
Posts: 190
14 1 hugs
given |
#11
^yeah, all that stuff is stuff i should do.. i just, i have an anxiety problem too. and idk, it limits me in things.. i get tooooo worked up about confronting people.. It makes me feel like im just..begging or complaining, and it makes me feel horrible.
Like now, i feel like im making up excuses. lol. im sorry.. /: |
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Legendary
Member Since Jul 2008
Posts: 19,179
(SuperPoster!)
16 1,773 hugs
given |
#12
__________________ Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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