[vickielholt]

i wonder if its safe to say that i absolutely adore my therapist! i was reluctant (fear of a scolding or rejection) to tell him today that i came to this site. i thought he wouldnt think it was a good idea because i have a tendancy to be withdrawn and closed off to people. i dont go out with friends and i dont date havent in years. i truly believe i lack socialization skills.

anyway he was actually proud of me for taking a step outside my own bounderies i set for myself. he felt i was making progress with coming to terms with who "i" am and the parts that dwell inside me. he thought it was a good idea that i interact with others who struggle with some of the same issues as i do.

soooooo i guess i made a step in the right direction according to him. im always doubting myself and any decision i make because to be honest a majority of the time i cant trust my own judgment. i will sabotage myself if i can no matter the situation. always second guessing with good reason.

i told him that people here were supportive and i felt safe in a way. i gave him the web address and he thought it was a good idea also that i started a blog since i am an avid writer (nothing of importance) of poetry and try to journal my thoughts and feelings when i can come to terms and face them.

so i wonder is it safe to say i adore my therapist. not in an attraction type of way. i have never in all the years (on and off i might add) he has been working with me "us" have i thought of him in any other way. its just that at times he shocks me at how understanding and supportive he is. i do believe he honestly has my best interest at heart.

he doesnt get paid by me at all for what he is doing - i couldnt afford to keep going to him after i had to stop working. he pushed hard for me to get my disability and because of him i was approved within a month. he also went to court with me to get/establish a restraining order against my father after he got out of prison. because of my insurance i was supposed to go see a different therapist but he said he would just take what one of my insurances would pay him and for me to forget the rest.

i dont know if i will ever be able to repay this man for what he has done and continues to do for my mental health. i try not to call him but he knows i have a hard time and he calls me at least once a week between sessions and im able to email him as often as i need to and he wants me to email anything i write because it helps him better understand what is going on inside my head. i hope the respect and admiration i have for him isnt perceived as crossing any lines or bounderies - i wouldnt let that happen and im positive he wouldnt either. i guess ive just never had one single person in my life actually be in my corner and not have any ulterior motives

[krazy_phoenix]

So great to hear you have someone in 'your corner'. It sounds like you have a great mutual respect for each other and a great working relationship. I think it is all pretty 'safe 2 say' : ) and nice to hear someone in his position using his power to get you all the help and assistance you need.

kp

[vickielholt]

thank u ((((((hugs))))) yeah he has helped me alot and im greatful i dont think i "we" would be here today if it wasnt for his support. all the times ive been in the hospital etc.. he also works with my physical docs because the lupus sometimes affects my moods. just another burden chronic illness ugh

[Sannah]

What a great man! Sounds like he is a man of service!! So glad that you have him and that you had a good appt. yesterday!

[Elli-Beth]

Totally safe to say! We LOVE talking about our T's on the Psychotherapy forum here! It's usually the first thing I check out on PC.

[vickielholt]

thank u ((((sannah))))) and ((((elli-beth)))) i truly believe that man was a godsend for me. i didnt even know what all was going on with me until i went to therapy i sortof flipped out a few times in his office because it would be sooooo overwhelming trying to process things but he has never given up even when i would. ive gotten so mad at him that i wouldnt go to therapy but he was patient. he knew i was pushing bounderies also just to see if he would get tired of it and dismiss me like my family has done to me. he never did and i finally stopped doing that because i know i "we" can trust him