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inkblot
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Default Dec 15, 2005 at 04:03 PM
  #1
I realized today that it has been one month yesterday since I last cut! The last time was two little ones the day before I met my new pdoc. He gave me Adderall and I haven't cut since! I saw my T last night and when he learned that I still haven't cut, he said, "Stay on it!" Guess that's orders, LOL. There have been moods where I know I would have cut, but I don't have the urges to anymore. My scars are healing and don't itch too much anymore. The coloring is kind of like dark purple-pink bruises now. I want to think "former cutter" but I am cautiously optimistic. How do I know that I won't feel the urges again when I am stressed? I don't know.

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*ONE MONTH*
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EJ711
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Default Dec 15, 2005 at 04:23 PM
  #2
Inky,

How about reprogramming your brain, with a substitute behavior for when you get stressed? Like: going for a walk, eating popcorn, singing a favorite song or punching a pillow.

Hugs,

Jane
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EJ711
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Default Dec 15, 2005 at 04:30 PM
  #3
Inky,
Came up with another substitute behavior --drive to my house.
Jane - Oz
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hereiam
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Default Dec 15, 2005 at 04:33 PM
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Ink - from experience, when you get stressed, you're going to get the urge. so just expect it. but when you do, take into consideration how long you've gone without cutting and how great you feel when you haven't. its much easier to give into cutting than not doing it - taking the easy route now would be no good! plus, once you get into the routine of NOT cutting when you get stressed, it becomes easier and easier to find something else to do. trust me on this one.

good luck, let us know how everything pans out!

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complic8d
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Default Dec 15, 2005 at 08:11 PM
  #5
*ONE MONTH* Congrats on the one month, inkblot!! Stick with it, I'm rooting for ya!

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Beautiful_Pain
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Default Dec 15, 2005 at 11:03 PM
  #6
Good job on your one month SI free!! *ONE MONTH* *ONE MONTH*

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backandforth
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Default Dec 16, 2005 at 02:17 AM
  #7
congrats! I think, on some level, wondering "what if" will always be part of that kind of thinking... but with time and with learning new coping mechanisms and being able to deal with your emotions & more conflict in situations will slowly decrease those urges... as you said, there's been situations where you've felt like cutting or would have in the past but the desire isn't really there anymore. that's a good thing! I got to that point before where in my mind I would want to cut but just couldn't get myself to do so, I wanted it but it didn't feel right... I just couldn't justify it. I think the thing that made me go back was not being able to deal with other stressors. but If you can stick with that mind set then all power to you! Maybe with therapy and your meds and finding new ways you will be able to do this. don't worry too much of the what if's... you can't control the future but you can control how you react to events in the present. wish you all the best.

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*ONE MONTH*

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dalila
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Default Dec 16, 2005 at 03:00 AM
  #8
<font color="#008800">My therapist told me the last time that I saw her, I can cut if I really want to but then I would have to come 'here' and still face the emotions I trying to surpress and the fact that I cut. For now I feel like that would be too much work. It has been a long time since I cut. I think last time was in September. </font> *ONE MONTH*

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Lexicon78
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Default Dec 16, 2005 at 10:30 AM
  #9
Yay! I'm so proud of you! It sounds like this medication is really working for you then. I wish I could find something that would suppress my urges, by ah, no luck.

Just keep taking the meds, hang in there, and just keep doing what you're doing!

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prismatic9
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Default Dec 16, 2005 at 11:13 PM
  #10
((((((((((((((Inky *ONE MONTH*)))))))))))))))))))))

One month? Super excellent *ONE MONTH* *ONE MONTH* *ONE MONTH* *ONE MONTH*
The downside is the SI is considered an addiction, just like bulimia, alcohol, etc. The urges WILL come, but you know where to come........you're always here for you during "those times"
In the meanwhile, CELEBRATE *ONE MONTH* *ONE MONTH* *ONE MONTH* *ONE MONTH* *ONE MONTH* *ONE MONTH* *ONE MONTH*
Prismatic9 *ONE MONTH*

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Default Dec 23, 2005 at 01:23 PM
  #11
Congrats Inky!!! I'm proud of you. I know how hard it is to resist the urges when they come. Just remember we care about you and hate to see you hurting so to see an accomplishment like this is awesome. WOOHOO!!!

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