[agma]

I have often wondered why other people's actions and moods affect my mood so much. For example, if my husband or someone is upset, then my mood will drop. Yesterday at work, I took a phone call from a very upset parent. It is a family that my co-worker supervises, but that co-worker is on vacation. I did the best I could, but I couldn't give them what they wanted. I told them I was sorry, and the parent said "I'm sorry too" in a very angry voice and then hung up on me. I was having a pretty good day until that happened. My mood dropped so low after that happened, and my urges where horrible the rest of the afternoon and evening. I haven't been able to stop thinking about it even today. The urges are still really bad, although I haven't injured yet.

[Sannah]

Boundaries................... Your boundaries are not strong enough to block you from absorbing others people's business. It belongs to them. It doesn't belong to you.

And for you to have SI urges from it you must feel responsible for these people? This is another lack of boundaries. You are not responsible for others. You can help them but they have the ultimate responsibility for their stuff.

You probably got this while growing up? You had a parent who the rest of the family revolved around and everyone in the family met that person's needs and denied their own needs? We learn about our needs by a parent attending to these needs. If our needs get neglected while growing up we have no awareness that we have needs and then when we have to tend to another's needs in an unhealthy way it gets us other focused and we don't learn how to build that boundary between ourselves and others.