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Member
Member Since Dec 2009
Location: Michigan
Posts: 209
14 3 hugs
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Sep 05, 2011 at 04:56 PM
#1
Thoughts of self harm r really strong right now. I haven't had thoughts of suicide in a very long time which worries me. I am still camping with just my mom, dad, and niece as of now. The whole weekend was very exhausting and paranoia and scary for me for some reason. I don't like how I feel but that's how I feel. I want to take extra pills and cut my wrists but I am trying hard not too but it is hard.
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Sep 05, 2011 at 05:01 PM
#2
hang in there xxxxx
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Member
Member Since Dec 2009
Location: Michigan
Posts: 209
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Sep 05, 2011 at 07:25 PM
#3
Thanks but I don't know how much more I can handle
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Legendary
Member Since Jul 2008
Posts: 19,179
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Sep 06, 2011 at 09:43 AM
#4
You have no idea why this is so stressful for you? Do your parents stress you out? If so, do you understand why? Why does it worry you that you aren't suicidal? Doesn't your trip end today?
__________________ Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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Member
Member Since Dec 2009
Location: Michigan
Posts: 209
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Sep 06, 2011 at 10:12 AM
#5
I am suicidal and yes my trip does end today. I don't know why I am so stressed out. I just want to take extra rx pills. Worried pdoc will want me to go into hospital. Scared but want to do something..
Last edited by teresapooh98; Sep 06, 2011 at 10:29 AM.. |
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Legendary
Member Since Jul 2008
Posts: 19,179
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Sep 06, 2011 at 10:32 AM
#6
I think that it is really important to talk to a someone about your reaction to this trip. Do you have a therapist? I'm glad this is the last day of this trip. I misunderstood about if you felt suicidal or not. Makes it more important to talk to a mental health professional. Why is it bad to go to the hospital?
__________________ Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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Member
Member Since Dec 2009
Location: Michigan
Posts: 209
14 3 hugs
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Sep 06, 2011 at 11:04 AM
#7
I have a therapist and a pdoc. I will talk to her soon.
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Legendary
Member Since Jul 2008
Posts: 19,179
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Sep 06, 2011 at 11:06 AM
#8
Very good! Please keep us posted?
__________________ Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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Member
Member Since Dec 2009
Location: Michigan
Posts: 209
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Sep 06, 2011 at 01:10 PM
#9
I talked my pdoc and she is seeing me tonight and told me to take an extra 100mg of seroquel so hopefully that will help the urges.
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Legendary
Member Since Jul 2008
Posts: 19,179
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Sep 06, 2011 at 01:15 PM
#10
Good work Teresa! This is good self care. Will you talk to her about how you were feeling during the trip?
__________________ Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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Member
Member Since Dec 2009
Location: Michigan
Posts: 209
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Sep 06, 2011 at 05:09 PM
#11
Yes I will tell her everything as I have been texting her while on vacation at times. I really want to self harm right now and take extra meds. I feel like I'm crawling out of my skin. I want it all to end. Parts of me want to die but that's not an option for me and my family. Thanks for all your support. It has been great keep it coming please. It's just that I was just in the hospital 2 months ago and it seems like I'm always going into the hospital and I want to end that cycle.
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Legendary
Member Since Jul 2008
Posts: 19,179
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Sep 07, 2011 at 10:07 AM
#12
How did your session go?
__________________ Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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Member
Member Since Dec 2009
Location: Michigan
Posts: 209
14 3 hugs
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Sep 07, 2011 at 04:15 PM
#13
my session went okay but I failed today, for the first time I bought razor blades and used one. I am not happy about it but it did feel good. It felt nice seeing the blood. I did text my pdoc about it and told her what happened. She doesn't know that I used it.
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Legendary
Member Since Jul 2008
Posts: 19,179
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Sep 08, 2011 at 11:57 AM
#14
Did you get any insight as to why the trip was so hard?
__________________ Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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Member
Member Since Dec 2009
Location: Michigan
Posts: 209
14 3 hugs
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Sep 08, 2011 at 01:23 PM
#15
Quote:
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Grand Member
Member Since May 2011
Posts: 961
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Sep 08, 2011 at 01:32 PM
#16
Keep your head up and don't scratch the marks. I'm sorry your struggling but I'm gladed your pdoc is good one!!! Please be safe and take care!!!
__________________ "To err is human, to forgive is devine." by Alexander Pope |
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Member
Member Since Dec 2009
Location: Michigan
Posts: 209
14 3 hugs
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Sep 08, 2011 at 05:11 PM
#17
I did scratch and it is very hard not too. My pdoc changed me to seroquel xr and I take it after dinner. Not doing much better today but holding onto a string of thread.
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Legendary
Member Since Jul 2008
Posts: 19,179
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15 1,773 hugs
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Sep 09, 2011 at 11:52 AM
#18
Quote:
__________________ Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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Member
Member Since Dec 2009
Location: Michigan
Posts: 209
14 3 hugs
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Sep 09, 2011 at 12:49 PM
#19
My pdoc is also my therapist. I just saw her about an hour and a half ago and she said it has to with the restlessness/agitation I'm getting from a side effect from Saphris one of the meds I am on. She wants me to put a band aid on the marks I made but I don't want my parents to find out. I see her tomorrow also.
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Legendary
Member Since Jul 2008
Posts: 19,179
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Sep 09, 2011 at 01:10 PM
#20
Teresa, you are having difficulty because of much deeper reasons then your diagnosis and your meds. If you really want to heal I think that you have to look deeply at your issues and why you are having difficulties. We develop into these problems and if we want to work ourselves out of them it takes deep work. Is getting a therapist a possibility for you?
__________________ Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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