****Trigger************




...................................................................... I'm the worst human being ever. I keep getting thoughts of getting a knife and just cutting myself. I wish someone bought me a knife. A knife for Christmas. I would love one. I just cut until I bleed... Fed up with my life. I'm the worst friend ever. No one needs me. I will just disappear and won't post. No one needs my posts. Most people on here, would be happy if I just be gone.

There's nothing special about me. I don't have any good qualities. I'm just a waste of life. I won't message people much. I've had enough. I don't need friends. I want to rant all night but sadly I'll bore you all.

To cut or not to cut? I deserve to hurt myself. I hate these urges.

[ALissa3]

Don't cut! Rant to me-I'm here to listen!

Originally Posted by ALissa3

Don't cut! Rant to me-I'm here to listen!

I don't want to complain because you haven't done anything wrong. I won't hurt myself.

[Inedible]

Cutting yourself adds a problem to the problems you are already experiencing. I know it can be a powerful distraction, but I still wouldn't suggest it. Venting here is better.

Originally Posted by Inedible

Cutting yourself adds a problem to the problems you are already experiencing. I know it can be a powerful distraction, but I still wouldn't suggest it. Venting here is better.

And give me scars. If I vent here, I'll be a burden and annoying. I can trigger people because I write bad stuff. Thanks for your reply.

[ALissa3]

You are not a burden OR annoying. That's why this website is here- so we can help each other.

[Penny T. StDuhnam]

I see you. It's sucks sometimes.

What are you doing now? I mean, other than being on the computer.

I should be knee deep in laundry but I'm living in my head on the couch. I did just switch from watching "The Hours" to "Brewster's Millions". The first picture was amplifying my dark hole!

I hope you're trying to relax and calm yourself.

<3

P

Originally Posted by Penny T. StDuhnam

I see you. It's sucks sometimes.

What are you doing now? I mean, other than being on the computer.

I should be knee deep in laundry but I'm living in my head on the couch. I did just switch from watching "The Hours" to "Brewster's Millions". The first picture was amplifying my dark hole!

I hope you're trying to relax and calm yourself.

<3

P

I'm listening to music, that's all I'm doing.

[likewater]

((((happy cheeks)))) no no no no. i read any post or reply by you. you are sooo wonderfully refreshing. i dont know how to use the site well, especialy from my phone, all i can do is reply, but please know how much i care. and i know all of us care about you. you are extremely lovable. you don't deserve to be hurt. you deserve care and gentleness and sweetness and kindness and love and self care.

[Penny T. StDuhnam]

What type of music? iPod or radio?

Originally Posted by Penny T. StDuhnam

What type of music? iPod or radio?

By youtube. I'm listening to my favourite songs.

Originally Posted by likewater

((((happy cheeks)))) no no no no. i read any post or reply by you. you are sooo wonderfully refreshing. i dont know how to use the site well, especialy from my phone, all i can do is reply, but please know how much i care. and i know all of us care about you. you are extremely lovable. you don't deserve to be hurt. you deserve care and gentleness and sweetness and kindness and love and self care.

Thank you Sorry I'm attention seeking.

[Onward2wards]

(((happycheeks))) sorry you're having such a difficult time right now. I don't agree that you are "attention seeking" - but so what if you were!? We all need to feel like we mean something to someone, that's only natural. From over here, I just see someone having a really hard day and trying to socialize in the hopes others will understand. Nothing wrong with that at all!!! Pleased to meet you.

Originally Posted by Onward2wards

(((happycheeks))) sorry you're having such a difficult time right now. I don't agree that you are "attention seeking" - but so what if you were!? We all need to feel like we mean something to someone, that's only natural. From over here, I just see someone having a really hard day and trying to socialize in the hopes others will understand. Nothing wrong with that at all!!! Pleased to meet you.

(((onward2wards)))) It's okay. Something just upset me. It's nice to meet you too. I've seen you around chat somewhere.

[Inedible]

Originally Posted by happycheeks

And give me scars. If I vent here, I'll be a burden and annoying. I can trigger people because I write bad stuff. Thanks for your reply.

Some people will be triggered, but they can see the trigger warning and stay away from the thread. More people will read what you wrote and know that they are not alone. Maybe you would be surprised how many people feel that they are the worst person in the world. I don't know if it is true or not, but I read that there was a time when the Dalai Lama - the leader of Tibetan Buddhism - was giving a lecture in New York. He was telling people that they should look within themselves and find happiness there. Immediately there was a question - what if you don't like yourself very much? It was still early on in the Dalai Lama's career and he was shocked by the question. He asked the audience, does anyone else feel this way? Almost everyone present raised their hand. The Dalai Lama started crying and that was how the story ended. When I first read that story I didn't really believe that the Dalai Lama would be shocked by that question - what if you don't like yourself very much? - but that was a long time ago, and it was back when I was one of those people who thought that I had no place in the world and that I was the only one who didn't deserve to be happy. Now I would have told them to look around at everyone else with their hand raised. I'm not really sure what I would have said after that, but I would want them to know at least that they aren't alone.

[Sannah]

WHat happened with your friend if you don't mind me asking?

Originally Posted by Sannah

WHat happened with your friend if you don't mind me asking?

I'm confused. What friend?

[Sannah]

Originally Posted by happycheeks

I'm the worst human being ever. .... I'm the worst friend ever. No one needs me.

I was wondering why you said this?

Originally Posted by Sannah

I was wondering why you said this?

Because I think I'm not a good friend. I'm not talkative or loud.

Happycheeks I am *huggingyoutightly&neverlettinggo*

[Sannah]

Originally Posted by happycheeks

Because I think I'm not a good friend. I'm not talkative or loud.

You can only be a good friend if you are talkative?

Originally Posted by Sannah

You can only be a good friend if you are talkative?

I guess so.

[Sannah]

I disagree. I think being a good listener is more important. Did something happen with a friend concerning this issue?