[forever_unbroken]

Back in August of 2011, I had finally stopped cutting. Things were getting better for me.. i stopped taking my anti-depressants as well, which i know i shouldn't, but i don't want to have to rely on pills to make me happy.. i guess it sounds selfish, but it's that, and sometimes i would just forget to take them.

But anyway, lately I've been pretty stressed. I feel like I'm going nowhere in my life. I do the same things everyday. The same routine, always. My dad is moving back in with his girlfriend (this is the second time), and i know once he's there, all his time is going to be with her. I feel like i'm gonna lose him.. AGAIN. My mom has had some trouble with some guys she was dating. My parents argue over money, who pays what for my sister (i'm 20, so i pay for things myself). The thing is, i have to hear them argue over each other. I hate that because i have to be civil with both, but i feel like i have to pick sides. It stresses me out. i don't have much patience anymore. My self-esteem has basically gone down the drain. Just EVERYTHING.

I started cutting again. I know I shouldn't, but it just calms my nerves and my anxiety and i just forget about my problems. I cut a few times on my wrist and tried to hide it by wearing bracelets. You can see them every now and then, so i decided to start cutting my upper arm. i know i need to stop, but it just helps me.

I guess this is a sign that i need to go back on the anti-depressants. It's just another cost every month.. more money gone.

I doubt anyone will know what to say to this.. I just needed to vent.

Sorry you're having a bad time. If you feel like the antidepressants will help, then I'd give them another go, but I don't think taking antidepressants is necessarily a guarantee that you'll stop cutting. I didn't start cutting until after I started antidepressants - but then the first few drugs I tried weren't so helpful to me! But, everyone is different, so don't let me put you off the idea.

I've found therapy more helpful in tackling these issues though, and tackling the root of these issues - not just the way I deal with them. I know, though, therapy is expensive. That IS a drawback! I don't know if there's anything you could arrange, or even if it's something you'd want to do, but all I can say is that in my experience it has helped.

In the meantime, keep posting here on the forums, I find that helps keep me out of trouble, too! Good luck x

[Sannah]

I agree, therapy is the way to go.