***TRIGGER**** I think it's no big deal. T thinks otherwise. I should have gotten sutures but I didn't think I deserved them , or a bandage for that matter. I was attempting to hit the artery but just got veins. It was a celebratory slice up. I was raped 12 years ago today and I still feel like dirt.

[splitz]

Sad - not a 'celebratory' thing at all.
I know how you feel, I never think that I deserve treatment either although I often get forced to go and get stitches / staples because people object to me bleeding all over the place!
Why do you think it's not a big deal? Why do you think your T thinks that it is?
It's obviously something T thinks is worth being concerned about which means that T cares about you (and yes you do deserve to be cared about). Does T know that you were aiming for an artery? Have you been able to be honest about it, why you did it and how you were / are feeling?
Take care of yourself and keep talking.
Splitz

[sweetandsour]

Hi

i read ur post, we surely strangers but i feel concern.
at some point of life we all went through tough times n every1 tends to find their problem the biggest and it is.
but we also have got a chance to live. its up to us to choose however hard it might be.
either we destroy or we construct.
i've decided to live and construct coz i feel that i deserve it as everyone.
ur T wants u to get that chance and give u that.
hope i haven't upset u more
take care

keep talking

Originally Posted by splitz

Sad - not a 'celebratory' thing at all.
I know how you feel, I never think that I deserve treatment either although I often get forced to go and get stitches / staples because people object to me bleeding all over the place!
Why do you think it's not a big deal? Why do you think your T thinks that it is?
It's obviously something T thinks is worth being concerned about which means that T cares about you (and yes you do deserve to be cared about). Does T know that you were aiming for an artery? Have you been able to be honest about it, why you did it and how you were / are feeling?
Take care of yourself and keep talking.
Splitz

Yes T knows why and what I was aiming for. I was totally honest with him.
I still feel so rotten to the core. I'm just a nasty person.

[Sannah]

Is there a different scenario that you can invision that would be a healthier way to deal with this?

Originally Posted by Sannah

Is there a different scenario that you can invision that would be a healthier way to deal with this?

I honestly don't know. The rapist chose me for a reason. He sensed the rotten.

[Sannah]

Originally Posted by Calista+12

The rapist chose me for a reason. He sensed the rotten.

He chose you because of access. Abusers aren't thinking about their victims at all, so he isn't evaluating if you are rotten or not. Abusers only think about themselves. Abusers need to abuse in order to deal with their own distress so they are only trying to locate a victim and get away with it.

Their crimes are not to punish the victim. Their crimes are for their own rewards.

You feel rotten because of the ill treatment. You deduce that someone would only treat someone this way because the victim must be worthless. This really isn't why abusers abuse. They don't have a second of time to consider their victim. Abusers are totally self absorbed.

[MaDdSnow]

What you said is completely true. I used to think that my rapist chose me because of , well, me. I thought I was a horrible person. But I refuse to be the victim. Not anymore. I am worth so much more than that, and so are all the others that have ever been abused in any way.

Originally Posted by Sannah

He chose you because of access. Abusers aren't thinking about their victims at all, so he isn't evaluating if you are rotten or not. Abusers only think about themselves. Abusers need to abuse in order to deal with their own distress so they are only trying to locate a victim and get away with it.

Their crimes are not to punish the victim. Their crimes are for their own rewards.

You feel rotten because of the ill treatment. You deduce that someone would only treat someone this way because the victim must be worthless. This really isn't why abusers abuse. They don't have a second of time to consider their victim. Abusers are totally self absorbed.

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((((((( Calista ))))))))))))))