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#1
Apr 28, 2006, 05:43 AM
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My arm is such a mess
I can't stop hurting myself I have hurt Chloe so badly I will never be able to make it up to her How do you explain her being put in foster care and not her sister Her not being allowed to be at home with me, her mother So I have to make the pain To punish myself for the hell she is living For the hell she has lived in She is just a child Not capable of tuning out from all the BS Got what is on my arm currently dressed today 1 nurse said it was infected, the other said it's not But it's dressed anyway Thought the dressing would be good as it covers most of the area that I prefer to use But the urge is so great, and I am barely here I dissociate so easily I know for a fact I will wake in the morning with a new scsar somewhere on me. Someone was watching out for me at the supermarket yeasterday. Had blades on the belt, but got the total rung up before it went thru Had already blown my budget So didn't get them THANK GOODNESS
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I know that behind every grey cloud there is a silver lining; I just need to be patient enough to find it!!! |
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#2
Apr 28, 2006, 11:50 AM
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Good for you irish! I can somewhat relate to the foster care thing. Do not beat yourself up for doing what is probably one of the best decisions you made, as well as the toughest. I bet at the time it was not easy. I have 3 kids and they do not live with me. It totally breaks my heart BUT I know I made my decision for their well being, not mine.
BIG HUGS! Cher
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[b]If you can’t be a good example, then you’ll just have to be a horrible warning.[b] -Catherine Aird  |
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#3
Apr 29, 2006, 01:40 AM
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My mind iss consumed
Pay back , pay back, pay back Need to feel Can't feel emotional pain Want to feel physical pain Only thoughts, ALL the time SI SI SI SI Can't escape them Can't hide from them Can't supress them Can't STOP them Distractions not working Totally consumed bt this world of SI thoughts, and actions to come   
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I know that behind every grey cloud there is a silver lining; I just need to be patient enough to find it!!! |
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#4
Apr 30, 2006, 01:25 AM
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yeah, sucks.
try and go 15 mins at a time, and distractuin is good for me but allus seems to come back. |
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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