[whenwillitend]

I've been fighting the urge to cut, and so far I've been successful, but it's getting harder and harder. Its' just, I know that when/if I give in, it's going to be very very bad. I look at the scars from cutting my wrists a couple of weeks ago, and objectively speaking they're quite bad, but now for me it's just not enough. I need more.

I ate chinese food last night, and I got some sweet and sour sauce on my hand and fingers and the palm of my hand. And I just froze, and stared at it, and had kinda like a flashback to that day a couple of weeks ago when I did that. It was such a huge trigger. I was glad I was sitting there with my husband and kids, or who knows what would have happened. I guess I'll just have to make sure I'm never alone for now. I don't think I'd be strong enough if I was alone.

[roads]

Keeping this to yourself doesn't help, wwie-- it makes it more difficult. What would have happened if you had told your husband?
Have you gotten a new therapist yet? Do you have any support system to go to? * hugs *

[whenwillitend]

My husband would be very worried, and he really has enough to deal with right now.
I do have a new t, seen her twice so far. And my best friend is having a hard time herself right now, she just got out of the hospital.