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#1
Nov 17, 2012, 05:43 AM
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I started self harming when I was nine. I struggled with it for years, but twice I managed to stop for 3 years in my teens, and again for 3 years in my early 20s, and I thought I had beaten it.
Earlier this year I was involved in a car accident in which someone died. As I was to blame for this, I am on ‘community detention’ for eight months. This means that I have to wear an ankle bracelet and stay at home ALL THE TIME, except for six hours of free time each on Wednesdays and Saturdays. I’m also not allowed to drive, and I live in a rural area a long way out of town so it is difficult to actually go anywhere when I am allowed out. I shifted here two years ago and I don’t have any particularly close friends yet, but people said they would help. I had friends round for drinks on the first Friday night after I was stuck here. One guy volunteered to take me to the supermarket every Wednesday so that I wouldn’t have to hitchhike there. I lost my job because of my situation, but I had managed to find a few weeks’ work that I could do from home and I thought I would be OK. I’m four months in now. I’ve not had anyone come round to visit me since that first Friday night. For the first few weeks people would say they were going to come round, but then something would come up and they didn’t. Now I guess they have just forgotten about me. I have not laid eyes on another human being in 14 days now. I have tried to ring five different people in the last week but they all seem to have better things to do than talk to me. I have tried lots of coping strategies over the years, but the only one that really worked is to get out of my house and go and visit friends for a couple of hours until it passes. But now I am stuck here and I am not allowed to leave and I have nobody to talk to and the best I have felt all week is when I hurt myself. How the hell do I get through four more months of this? |
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#2
Nov 17, 2012, 12:22 PM
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I know it's hard but you have to stay strong.
The car accident must of been awful. I don't really have much advice I'm afraid but I do have a good ear, So if you ever feel lonely your not alone. I'll be here at the end of a message (( hugs )) |
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#3
Nov 17, 2012, 12:33 PM
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we're all supporting you and right behind you.
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#4
Nov 18, 2012, 10:06 AM
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__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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