Need a little advice...

Ok, so I've finally decided that it's time to tell my parents that their perfect little daughter is depressed and is cutting, but I'm really afraid of what's going to happen. I find it very difficult to tell people things, and I don't even know what to say. Both of my brothers are messed up so I've always been the adult, the most mature, the one with perfect grades and a happy-go-lucky life. I know my mum's gonna freak out and my dad... I couldn't even guess. Anyone who's been through this, if there's any ideas as to what I should say or even whether or not it's going to work would be welcomed... Thanks.

Silentscream

Silentscream, I wish I had some wonderful words of wisdom but I don't. My problems didn't start until my mother died. By then everyone else was gone, too.

Again, I don't know anything about self injury except that it releases some of the pain inside you or proves to the person that they can still feel. Because I'm an abuse survivor and it seems that almost everyone else here is too, my impulse is to tell you that maybe you should seek professional help before you break it to your parents so that you have "someone with skin on" to guide you with your specific problems and someone to go to in case things go bad. Of course, we're all here to support you, too.

At any rate, good luck in whatever you decide to do.



This above all: To thine own self be true. -- Shakespeare

I know that it would be easiest for me to write them a note. You could even just print out what you wrote here. It would probably be useful to have information to give them, as it isn't an easy thing for parents to hear and they will have a lot of questions. You can find a lot of information at <A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.palace.net/~llama/psych/injury.html>http://www.palace.net/~llama/psych/injury.html</A> including a section for family and friends.

Not knowing what your parents are like, another thing that might make it easier might be to get someone else on your side first. Is there a school counselor or other adult you would be comfortable talking to?

It's important to tell someone who can help you, so that you can get better. I hope that your parents will be supportive and help you to get the treatment you need. Let us know how it goes, okay?

<font color=green>"Loneliness does not come from having no people about one, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself, or from holding certain views which others find inadmissible" Carl Jung</font color=green>

I agree with SeptemberMorn on the idea of telling a psychologist first before your parents... but if you need their financial support or approval to do that, then I would suggest you talk with a school counselor or such first. AND I wouldn't reveal the cutting issue at the beginning. The Overreaction would most likely be overwhelming.

You might also imagine all the things your parents would say... because of the family dynamics... this way nothing they say will "throw" you. DO consider what you WANT to hear from them when they hear.. and how they might say it so you recognize it, too.

Please research anything I suggest before believing...

Thank you, SeptemberMorn, Rapunzel, and SkyBDark, for your suggestions. I will definitely think about telling someone else first, but aren't school councilors required to tell your parents whatever you tell them? I think I'll write out what I'm going to say first (I've got an idea about what to say already), and just tell them. I'll also have some stuff handy for questions. I'll probably tell them this weekend, so whenever I do it I'll make sure to post here.

The fact that you are depressed is something you WANT the school counselor to tell your parents... being an advocate for you to get professional help. ; }

Please research anything I suggest before believing...

Lol I agree, but like I wouldn't want them to tell my parents instead of me, as though I didn't trust my parents enough to tell them myself or something.

I finally told them last night. I don't think Dad could really take it, he didn't look at me much at all and such. Mom was really supportive, actually, but since I've never really told my parents anything, and they've pretty much left me alone my whole life, all this sudden "closeness" is rather uncomfortable. Dad suddenly wants to do stuff together and Mom always coming up and talking to me... Like, they've decided that maybe if they spend more time with me I'll suddenly stop and everything will be better.

Silent,

I highly doubt that your parents are showing this sudden closeness with you in the hopes that this will make everything better. Chances are, they are very worried and don't know how to react - like you said, you've always been the mature one - they are probably feeling terrible about the whole thing and just want their baby to feel better. No parent worth their salt likes it when their child is hurting and they don't know how to help.

That said, I'm very glad (and impressed!) that you had the courage to sit down with your parents and tell them what was happening. The desire to get better starts long before telling anybody (you have to want to tell them, after all) so congrats and keep us posted!

Anna

some of it's magic
some of it's tragic
but i had a good life all the way......
~jimmy buffett