[gmts]

Dear all,

to say it upfront, I don't do self injury and never did.

I generally only participate in the forums I can relate to. (I'm mostly active in "Survivors of abuse" and "Adult children of alcoholics".)

Partly of course because I can't relate, but also because of respect to leave people alone with their peers who are trying to help each other and don't want to be bothered by "outsiders".

However, that lately I was confronted with shocking news and maybe you guys here can help me here a bit. I'm not sure if it is a good idea or if it will lead anywhere, but I hope you are not offended or anything.

So, a while ago I had to learn that the 15 y/o daughter of one of my very best friends is cutting herself and she is now in a psychiatric facility where she was also diagnosed with severe depression.

The thing is that as far as I'm concerned, my friend and his wife are about the best parents that I could possibly imagine. I already knew her as a baby and she was always a happy camper through out. Her 2 older siblings are great people and they are doing great in their life and the 3 siblings get along with each other just so nicely and warm. I just can't see the tiniest little thing that this family could have to done to her in a wrong way. She always was a good student, a great athlete and she is even very cute.

It was always to me like a proof of "good, happy parents = good, happy children". Right now the parents are doing their best to help her, being incredibly supportive as always, trying to deal with it in the best positive way, but I know they are totally devastated. And so am I.

So ... I know you all are dealing with your problems and I perfectly respect that, but ... can anybody maybe give me an insight what might have happened to her ? Can anybody relate to this ? I know it is a very long shot, but I would be so incredibly grateful for any small hint.

All the best for you!!!

Thanks a lot
g.

[scatterbrained04]

If she was diagnosed with severe depression, she may have a chemical issue in her brain causing her to be that way. My parents are generally great, but I got depressed at 14 (and was later diagnosed bipolar). Self-harm may just have been her way of dealing with the severe emotional pain of depression.

[AmandaBroken]

Sometimes the best you can do is be there. You don't even need to say anything. A lot of people feel they aren't helping unless they are talking when most of us would rather have you just sit with us and be there.

[random_emotion]

Depression can happen to anyone. Depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain outside factors can sometimes contribute to depression but not always. I have great parents but I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder in my teenage years and still struggle on a daily basis as an adult. Self harm doesn't only happen to people with "bad parents." Self harm happens it is a maladaptive coping skills often associated with great amounts of emotional pain.

[gmts]

Thank you so much for your replies, it means a lot to me.

So, is there any lab value to proove it? And I assume the Therapy is anti depressants? Are they helpful in this case?

I did some more Research and I believe to umderstand how self injury works as a coping Mechanism at least half way. Is there a way to retrain to a healthier coping?

Thank you so much again!

[random_emotion]

By therapy I meant like talk therapy with a qualified therapist plus anti depressants. Yes there is a way to cope healthier. But the longer she has been doing it the harder it will be. Also it is not a one time fight to change self harming behavior its an ongoing process. There will probably be slip ups but it is possible to change. Hope that helps.