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Poohbah
Member Since May 2012
Location: Mass
Posts: 1,247
12 783 hugs
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Jul 12, 2013 at 11:39 AM
#1
I saw my T today. My case worker usually drives me, but she is on vaca this week, so her office mate volunteered to bring me in, which was really nice of her.
So I had to sit on the bench in front of my building waiting for her.... I was so nervous, and anxiety was so high being out there on display. I started banging my arm on the seat of the bench... each time to the count of eight. I have made quite a mess out of my lower right arm. oh, well.... tomorrow another day to try to go without doing any si'ing.... had to get this out. thanks for reading __________________ |
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 jen29, Poppy Princess, ThisWayOut, Wren_
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Poohbah
Member Since May 2012
Location: Mass
Posts: 1,247
12 783 hugs
given
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Jul 12, 2013 at 09:03 PM
#2
got even worse.... cut 16 times on my leg wtf....
 I was so dissociated that nothing felt real..  . so I got up off this chair, got dressed, grabbed headphones, cigs, camera... headed outside.. dusk was just starting and I played with different settings on my camera taking pics of anything.. flowers the sky.. cars going by... took appox 170 pics... It brought me back to me ..  . now all I have to do is take my meds BEFORE I fall asleep.... I am still jamming.. but not in a self harm place 
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Veteran Member
Member Since Oct 2012
Location: midwest
Posts: 656
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Jul 14, 2013 at 03:11 PM
#3
Is it possible you were angry at your case worker and punished yourself instead? I know I used to do that. If someone let me down or did something that made me mad and hurt, I'd take it out on myself.
You don't have to answer that if you don't want to. I know SI can be intensely personal and suggestions can be really annoying. Sam2 |
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| jadedbutterfly
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 jadedbutterfly, tealBumblebee
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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