how to live with the scars?

everyday i am greeted by my scars and they remind me everyday of what I went through. they show me i can never wear a dress, skirt, or shorts because i am not ready for people to see them and judge me

Have you tried covering them with make up? Presuming theyre not fresh cuts ut should work. I can get make up to cover my old scars but not tge fresh ones, it stinks like hell. I used like a mixture of conceller/foundations. I found tgat the maybelline dream nude foam worked best. But you should be proud if yourself that you got true that hard part of your life, they're like war wounds

I don't know how bad yours are, but mine aren't too bad and they're only on my arms. There are a few huge pink ones that are really obvious that I always hate having them there. I've used mederma and bio oil and they seem to help. Lemon also helps them fade.

As for getting used to them in public, I took it slow. I would go on walks outside where I would run into very few people and wear short sleeves then put on my jacket before I went back indoors where there were people. Gradually I came to be able to wear 3/4 sleeves and they show a little but but much. I'm not to the point I can wear short sleeves in public yet but I have been swimming at public pools and even though people stare, they never say anything. You can try to ease into it that way.

Try messing around with styles and your wardrobe to find things that fit them. Set aside a day where you can go to a thrift store and search for clothes that are stylish that you can wear with the scars. Thrift store clothes are cheap and they're usually still in good condition.

I agree with Jane102. Learn to be proud of them and your confidence will grow.

I hear the makeup thing can work..... (being a guy - not an option).

And I certainly understand the whole - not ready to be judged thing. Day in and day out judging is enough before they see marks on you. HOWEVER, I would like you to know - that when you *are ready* to show who you are to the world - there are people out there that do not judge. There are people out there in the same boat as you. There are people who see marks and immediately have feelings for that person because they can RELATE to them. I am not encouraging you to do more harm - but there are some people who find marks like yours to be super sexy.

I only had a few scars and I bought Kate Somerville D-Scar and it works really well. The scars aren't even noticeable anymore. It's kinda pricey but it worked for me and may for you as well

To some degree, with time they should fade a lot, but not entirely.

Laser surgery may be helpful to remove them but costs $$ and is painful.

Your not the only one with a similar issue.

My legs and arms are horrifically covered in hundreds and hundreds of nasty scars- even knows it has been a decade since I self harmed.

Personally most the time I am "whatever" and don't bother covering them up, and I am like people can think what they want.

A lot of people self harm, everyone I know pretty much has at some point in their life. You are not a freak for self harming, you are person who was in emotional pain and could not process and deal with the pain.

I had to have many full blown operations, and hundreds and hundreds of stitches due to my self harm, so I do relate to it. But my life is great now, I am well liked and trusted by many people. People trust me to babysit their children, I think that indicates how well I am regarded.

For now i think i'm going to start slow maybe wear a short sleeve once a week or something
I'm ready to move forward