[Switch]

I haven't cut in a while, a few months. I think somewhere around May? But I just decided enough was enough and quit but I never got rid of my blades. I had them stashed all over in little places like under the radio or in the bottom of a drawer. I stopped thinking about them.

Recently I've been struggling with addiction problems and relationship issues and school and depression and a whole whack tone of things. Last night though I came home high and wasted (had been copeing well before so this was a major screw up too) and I tore the house apart looking for my blades. Someone has found them all and gotten them all out.

So I thought id be fine but then I saw my friends exacto he'd he'd left here and not picked up, and I broke and now it's all I can think about because my cuts are stinging and I am so tempted to go find a new pack of blades.

Help? I feel like such an idiot for relapsing.

[mazing]

Hang in there Switch. We all fall sometimes but it doesn't mean that we have failed. We all make mistakes but we can get back up again. A few months is an awesome achievement and you can get back there.

Can you distract yourself until the urges start to pass again? Find something you find relaxing or fun to try and take your mind off the cuts. Or is there someone you can talk to? Sometimes having someone to vent to can make a big difference. I'm also always happy to listen if you ever want to PM me.

And try to remember:

Courage does not always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, 'I will try again tomorrow'. ~ Mary Anne Radmacher

I know it is hard, but you haven't failed. What is more important is what you do now.