[ontheotherside]

I gave in last night, and cut myself. I knew from the first cut that it was wrong, and that I shouldn't. But I kept doing it again and again. I was doing so well. I feel like the biggest failure. I don't know why I feel the need to do this, and I just want it to stop, but every time I do, there's just too much to handle and I go back. I don't know what to do anymore. I've tried talking with a friend of mine about my general depression, but they don't understand that it goes deeper than that. Tomorrow I have my first therapist appointment in a year, new person, new everything. Wish me luck.

Thanks for listening.

[smmath]

I don't think that you are a failure. You made a mistake, it happens. I have been in the same place, and the feelings suck, but keep your head up. I think talking with a therapist is a really smart decision. I am in therapy and it really helps with my cutting and depression. Have you tried writing out your feelings when you want to cut?

Good luck!

[ontheotherside]

Thank you. I have tried writing, and it helps when I can write. But most days, thats part of the problem, I can't explain the feeling in words, and end up feeling worse because I can't.

[smmath]

Maybe instead of writing you could draw something or color.