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Wise Elder
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 9,647
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#41
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Wise Elder
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 9,647
(SuperPoster!)
6 9,792 hugs
given |
#42
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Wise Elder
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 9,647
(SuperPoster!)
6 9,792 hugs
given |
#43
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Wise Elder
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 9,647
(SuperPoster!)
6 9,792 hugs
given |
#44
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Wise Elder
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 9,647
(SuperPoster!)
6 9,792 hugs
given |
#45
I understand and you are not alone!
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Wise Elder
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 9,647
(SuperPoster!)
6 9,792 hugs
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#46
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Account Suspended
Member Since Jul 2019
Location: United States
Posts: 154
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#47
Me and my sisters are bipolar I. Before we had treatment, we had violent fist fights. I have no reason why, but it makes me feel better having online fist fights with another woman. Maybe, because the feelings I get with the fight makes me hate myself less. When I hate myself less, I stop thinking of hurting myself for real. Strange, but for me it helps.
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Michael2Wolves
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New Member
Member Since Mar 2012
Posts: 5
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#48
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The trigger for me is getting an angry customer who is overwhelmed and doesn't listen. It's especially bad if they start insulting me or accusing me of something. It was that way back in my early twenties at my last call center job and it's that way now. The problem went completely away when I moved to an IT job but now that I'm back doing call center work it has returned. I think it's related to PTSD from childhood and verbal abuse from my parents. How can I stop having these episodes? I can be conscious of it but when one of those calls comes in and the yelling starts, it's a trigger and I cannot stop myself. The fact I was demoted despite being with the company seven years and always getting great reviews is another factor. It's been a huge self-esteem hit. I'll try the rubber band thing maybe. I need to find another job but I have to quit cannabis use first. I'm currently 23 days clean and am pushing for about 60 before I start looking for a new job. That way I can be certain to pass a pre-employment drug screening. |
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SlumberKitty
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New Member
Member Since Feb 2020
Location: USA
Posts: 7
4 |
#49
I also hit myself in the head. HARD. Brutally hard. Started in my mid teens I think. Been doing it for decades (yes, decades). To any younger people reading this, you may want to get some help with this. No, I don't mean to tell you what to do because I hate it when people tell me what to do. But I have severe headaches daily. I have tinnitus. I almost always do this to the right side of my head (I'm right handed) and my right eye has had several problems over the last 10 years or so: detached retina, vein occlusion, etc.
I'm seeing a therapist now that is actually addressing this. I should say "trying" to address this - I'm a difficult patient . My previous 3 therapists, when I would hit myself IN SESSION, either ignored it (yep, completely ignored the violence right in front of them) or simply said "hey, cut it out". At the recommendation of my current therapist I'm going to get some brain scans to see what the damage might be. I just want to know. The scans are by no means a treatment but purely informational. The common, simple DBT-type distress tolerance skills like snapping a rubber band or holding an ice cube simply don't work for me. I'm sorry but the avalanche of emotion can't be held back by a rubber band or an ice cube. It's like trying to hold back the ocean with a broom. Yeah, this is fun. |
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SlumberKitty
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