[Emrys]

Right ... so this is probably triggering and I hope it isn't overstepping any boundaries. It's just weird to me and I wanted to seek opinions.

So I've been trying to stop SI-ing after I relapsed after a year or so period without it. I have been working with a T to ascertain triggers for me and ways to stave off urges.

Anyways, yesterday it was a week and a day since I had SI'd and I gave in ... but in my absolutely frantic (I think in part due to a co-occurring anxiety attack), I realized that I had no idea where any of my usual sharps were.

I lost them. I don't really know. It seems really really weird to me because that is a very personal part of me and not something I share with many people. I take such care to hide evidence of SI and I can hardly believe that I would be so foolish as to misplace them. I have a pretty good short term memory and I am surprised I would forget. It had only been a week.

Thoughts? I am not necessarily seeking to find them or anything ... just puzzled.

[smmath]

Maybe it had something to do with your subconscious need to stop doing it.