[glxtter]

Okay well, this is hard to explain, so bare with me, I've SIed for 8years in different forms, and for the first time, I am a month clean!!! which is a first! and the longest I've ever managed..

But in exactly two days i go back to school.. (i'm from Australia)

School is one of the biggest reasons to why i harmed, all the people, judgement, questions & comments always put me into panic & make me feel so sick, and it causes me to harm, I don't know what to do i want to stay clean, but i don't think i can, all the people there are so harsh & all the teachers, all the classes are so much stress & the voices in my head go crazy..

I don't know what to do! I almost bought SI tools today..

Honestly i walked into a shop to buy food & ended up in the tools aisle...

[Frankbtl]

Hi, seriously WELL DONE on the time clean and resisting the urge!! Just sounds like you need some different coping skills for school.
Can you have a think about the worse situations at school which trigger the urge e.g crowds, times of day, specific people, specific situations. I know it can be really hard to single things out but maybe have yourself a plan to deal with each situation e.g. avoiding those triggers, walking away if they are getting too much, distracting yourself? Maybe there's someone at school you can hook up with to give you some extra support?
In relation to you finding classes stressful (or the work hard?) though, absolutely talk to the teachers about those problems and ask them if they can offer you any help or advise. It's their job to be there to support students, just renumber that. If you don't feel particularly comfortable talking to specific teachers then maybe there's another teacher who can offer you some support?
But if you're finding it really hard at any particular time try to focus, focus, focus on the next chance you're going to get to do something to relieve the pressure. Whatever that is for you e.g. something active, something relaxing?
But just try not to let "school" take over and dictate whether or not you cut. Try to see it as JUST a period of time, so try to take back that control if you can, it is YOUR life and you have done SO well with staying clean. What right has school or anyone/anything there to hurt you to that degree!!?? Don't let it!!! Be strong and go for the positives.

But lastly, I am so NOT meaning to undermine your struggle. I know it can be REALLY hard so please come back to us for support, advise, encouragement anything you need.
I'm absolutely no "expert" but if I can help in even the smallest way I'd like to try.

Alison

[smmath]

Have you thought about being mindful?