Relapse. Go me.

Years of not cutting down the drain. Just for one really deep cut. I couldn't stop. It wasn't good enough and the knife was so dull. My friend told me not to do anything crazy and what did i do? something crazy. I didn't even sterilize the blade. I don't care anymore. The cops will probably show up at my door tonight anyway. Take me to the psych hospital >.> great. Guess who's not sleeping tonight??

I told a different friend i was going to cut and he didn't even try to stop me he just told me it was dumb... so that helped..... not really.

Your not starting from ground zero, you have skills that you have learned over the past few years. You know a friend told me that a relapse wasn't unless you forgot everything that you GAINED over the years. More than likely you still know what to do, and what you need to do. She called it a lapse. Yes it happened, acknowledge it and move on. Sending you positive thoughts your way!!

not too many people have walk this earth without failing...........

dust yourself off. minor setback. you are still okay.

Treat your wound so it doesn't get infected. Your going through a rough time try not to beat yourself up over this.

"I told a different friend i was going to cut and he didn't even try to stop me" - sounds very much like a cry for help. I generally have alarm bells ringing, if anyone just outright tells me what they're going to do. Aside from my personally thinking it's a very unfair thing to say, ... I'd rather know when someone was FEELING as though they wanted to do it, rather than just saying they're going to do it, ... it seems to serve no purpose other than making the other person feel like crap, ... sorry, I'm sure you don't want to know that, but that's kinda how it works, especially online. If it's any consolation, I did the very same thing, and I hate that I did it; it was unfair to others, but I've learned a lot from it, mostly from being on the other side of the fence.

Back in the day, I started and stopped a good few times; it can happen, but don't let that drag you down - you stopped once, you can do it again. Can't speak for years, though, ... about 4 years free, myself. :| There's more to it than just a number, ... every day not doing THAT is good for you. Do you have a therapist or someone else that can help, professionally? Would be worth getting all the help you can.

{ Kein Teufel }
Translation: Not a devil
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@ Zwangsstörung You're right it was a cry for help. And that's supposed to be a bad thing? I shouldn't ask for help?? Yeah maybe a little unfair but when is helping someone ever not a burden somehow?? Its the harder path. That was completely unhelpful and a bit damaging in fact.

That being said all I have is a psychiatrist for medication. I don't do shrinks anymore. Spent too much money for them to ask me how my day was and why i didnt' acomplish anything.

Everyone else, thanks for your replies I know this is just a minor setback >.<