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Grand Magnate
Managing Editor, PC 
Member Since Apr 2004
Location: Milky Way galaxy
Posts: 4,572
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Mar 16, 2007 at 09:53 PM
#1
I really don't know what my problem is. Even when I am busy doing something else, my attention eventually wanders to when and how I can SI next. This is the worst it's ever been, which is saying something.
Without giving details so as not to set off someone else, I should say my thoughts about "how" are becoming increasingly violent, and getting kind of scary. I know you all told me I'm not a freak, but it would be that much harder for you to believe that if you knew what's running through my brain most of the day (and all of the night until I eventually wear myself out).  How do you turn off your mind?  Candy |
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Wise Elder
Member Since Aug 2005
Posts: 8,106
19 76 hugs
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Mar 16, 2007 at 10:15 PM
#2
I wish you could see that you are no freak. You are someone who is in incredible pain trying to cope. I understand how SI starts to take over your thoughts. Once it sneaks in it is so hard to make it go away. I hope you start to get some sleep as getting tired just seems to make it worse. Please take care of yourself and stay safe. ((((((((((((((((((((((((Candybear)))))))))))))))
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Poohbah
Member Since Dec 2004
Location: NM
Posts: 1,455
19 83 hugs
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Mar 17, 2007 at 01:20 AM
#3
I still don't believe your a freak, and nothing is going to make me change my mind... trust me. I still have a hard time convincing myself I'm not a freak though. Every time I tell people more and more about me and they stick with me as a friend I am a little amazed as to why they don't run away.
I do know how you feel and I wish I could tell you how to make your brain shut off... I wish I could tell mysellf too. Meds help me some, and quitting has helped a lot. But I still think about it some. Good luck and I hope things get a little easier soon. (((((((((((hugs)))))))))))) __________________ God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. |
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Magnate
Member Since Aug 2006
Location: U.S.
Posts: 2,723
18 194 hugs
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Mar 17, 2007 at 02:32 AM
#4
((((((((((Candy))))))))))))
I know that maybe its hard for you to believe it, but you are NOT a freak. I wish that i could help you to better understand that.. I'm not entirely sure how you can "turn" your mind off ... but i guess i just try and distract myself. Do things that you enjoy doing ... for me if i can, i like to go play piano, or go for a walk ... just trying not to focus on what you are thinking of, and just replace that with other (healthy) things. I know ... its easier said than done, but its something that i think we can all work at. Be gentle with yourself, 
__________________ The unexamined life is not worth living. -Socrates |
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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,450
(SuperPoster!)
21 81.4k hugs
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Mar 17, 2007 at 08:11 AM
#5
((((((((((((((((((( Candy ))))))))))))))))
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