[lost_in_the_horizon]

Hi I'm new here.
I have struggled for self harm for over 3 years, but I have been clean from it for 1 year and 5 days. It has been a constant struggle. It was hard at first. It got easier as the days progressed and I had some (what I thought at the time was) amazing support. But for the past 3-4 months, I've wanted to start again. I've been under a lot of stress and my depression has worsened and I don't know who to turn to because people are starting to get sick of me confiding in them due to the fact that the main issue is the abusive relationship I don't have the strength to leave. I don't know how to turn away these urges to cut myself again...

[kaliope]

hi lost
congratulations on remaining si free for so long. it is unfortunate that you feel your support system wavering when you need it now. i will honestly admit to you that support systems do find it frustrating to repeatedly hear about abusive relationships when the victim is seems unwilling or unable to take steps to remove themselves from the situation. it is not that they dont want to support you, it is most likely because they feel powerless to help, they dont know what else to do to help, not understanding why you continue to subject yourself to this situation that is harming you and causing you so much pain. it is painful for them to watch you go thru it. if you can, can you at least talk to a domestic violence advocate? maybe attend a few of their support groups. this doesnt mean you have to leave, but you can get the support you need and education on how to keep yourself safe at the same time from people who understand and know what you are going thru, who understand and know why it is so hard for you to leave. just think about it, ok?